i. WHO: Felipe & Aslan WHEN: Carnevale WHERE: Around Taboga Town SUMMARY: Felipe tries to figure Aslan out; then Aslan tries to figure Aslan out. CW: N/A
Aslan finally tucked his phone away, peacefully gazing down at Felipe for a momentâan expression that largely meant he was happy to see his new friendâand then he held out a water bottle. It made a crinkling sound in his hand as he waited for Felipe to take it.
âYou found me,â he said in a chipper tone that didnât quite match his calm expression, which bordered, as it often did, on looking bored. âThis is for you.â
From any other person, Felipe would have assumed it was sarcasm, especially with how bored and on the verge of a nap Aslan always sounded, but the man always kept his word and was very considerate. It was so weird and annoying, but well, at least Aslan was easy to read.
He put his phone in its tacky waterproof case back in his damp shorts. He needed a shower because he probably stunk and his t-shirt was glued to his skin, and that was now an unpleasant feeling. For now, he reached over for the water, immediately uncapped it, and proceeded to tip it back and chug some down.
Making an appreciative sigh, Felipe wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. âThanks, I guess. I did find you, so⊠I can lead you out if youâre lost.â Maybe there was still time to text the right person after that.
There were a lot of wet people around, Aslan had noticed. He guessed he missed whatever water fight had led to that. He wasnât very good at things like that. Heâd never had the best reflexes. But it looked like Felipe had had a fun time, and so he smiled, and he did not look a little too long at Felipeâs chest. Why would he? Though yes, he was actually staring a little, though this was not registering with him entirely. It was more of a very subconscious state of deep regard.
He looked up as Felipe thanked him. âI need to find my brother. HeâŠhas a weird way of falling asleep at parties, even this kind of partyâŠso Iâm not sure where he is now.â He sighed. âHe tends to end up where lots of people are dancing, thoughâŠâ Chosen of Water. He shook his head. He couldnât say that. Felipe wouldnât understand anything about that weird world. âYou said you are hungry still?â
Felipe scratched his scruff, letting out a soft sigh as he heard about Aslanâs brother. Yeah, they were both equally recklessly stupid, that checked out. His brow knitted for a moment, but he was too tipsy to comment on it. He did make a point of scowling at the adorable smile as he sipped his water.
âYou sure you donât want to look for him? Donât let me hold you up.â After one final sip, he screwed the cap back on, and casually handed the bottle back to Aslan. âBut, yeah, Iâm hungry, are you going to fix at least that problem? Wait, you got something here, Lion.â Felipe casually reached over to brush a bit of glitter off of Aslanâs beard.
Aslan sighed. He didnât think that Felipe would be very amused by Hakanâs antics. Hakan wasâŠa freespirit, he guessed, but Aslan wondered why it was that people with âfree spiritsâ tended to leave so much mess for everyone else to deal with? That life, this life⊠At least in this life, Hasan had always taken care of them; heâd always been there, a perfect role model. Aslan wanted to be like his oldest brother, but⊠He did get frustrated with so much spontaneity and blitheness. Not everyone could afford to be a dandelion on the windâŠ
âI wishâŠâ he said, scratching his beard. âI wish perhaps one day, he might learn fromâŠfrom these things,â he finally said, looking guiltily at his feet. He looked up, as Felipe reached for him, brushing something away, and blushed. What had it been? He hoped he didnât have anything unseemly in his beard. Maybe confetti⊠Or glitter? He had been standing near those things a lot this evening. âOh, thank you,â he mumbled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. âMaybe if he waits a little longerâŠhe wonât be so carelessâŠâ he cleared his throat. âThat might be unkind to say, but⊠I would prefer to eat something with you now.â He risked a glance at Felipeâs face.
Before moving his hand away, Felipe brushed the beard into its proper shape, making sure there was nothing in it. âIâm sure he will, itâs just a matter of time.â He put his hands on his hips as he considered how Aslan must feel. âAlright, you can buy me food, and then we look for himâor I can see if I can have someone else locate him?â He might not be the most friendly, but he knew people, and everyone loved his sister.
He caught Aslan looking at him, so he looked away, folding his arms over his chest. âAnyway, letâs go.â
Aslan did not catch himself looking at Felipe, and so he continued to do it, albeit shyly. âWhat kind of food do you like?â he asked, putting his hands in his pockets as he began to meander. Truth be told, there was so much going on around him, he felt a little disoriented. He might have just started walking like heâd memorized the layout of food stalls, but really he was just confused by too much noise and light and people.
âA lot of food. We can have something fried or whatever. Iâm not picky since youâre paying.â Felipe narrowed his eyes, deciding to speed up to make sure he stayed by Aslanâs side.
âThough it doesnât have to be stall food? Maybe there is pizza somewhere? Do you like pizza?â
He looked at Pipe and immediately bumped into someone passing by. âSorry.â He adjusted his glasses. There was a tiny drop of nervous sweat on his brow.
Felipe was about to reply when he saw the guy, and immediately was suspicious, so he stopped in front of him. âHey youâwhat do you think youâre doing?â
The dude in question made a face at him, raising his hands in the air before swearing at Felipe and brushing past him.
He tsked, folding his arms over his chest. âI thought he tried to take something from your pocket, guess not.â
Aslan stared at the man and then at Felipe. He very clearly didnât understand this situationâor what it might potentially have been. He watched the man leave and then looked at Felipe for a long moment. Finally, it dawned on him.
âOhhhâŠâ He put his hands in his pockets, but everything seemed accounted for. So he shrugged and then smiled just a little, tiny amount. âYou were looking out for me?â
Felipe blew air out of his nostrils and then exhaled, arms folded tight. âNo, I just hate thieves. Thatâs all.â His shirt stretched with his movements, and the sensation was still very unpleasant. It was like a slug on his body. âAnyway, watch where youâre going.â
Aslan contemplated the way the wet shirt was pulling across Felipeâs shoulders and chest. He noticed this somehow more than the arm crossing. It looked uncomfortable. Then, rather unexpectedly, he began to unbutton his, revealing a simple white undershirt beneath. He was already pulling the button down off, before, without explanation, he held it out for Felipe.
âI donât have any extra shorts,â he said. Was it a joke or an apology? His expression did not reveal the answer.
âWhat are you doing?â Felipe groaned and pulled a face, looking away while simultaneously never stopping looking from the corner of his eyes. âI donât need your help,â he said adamantly, tilting his head to look at the piece of clothing. âBut youâre going to insist, so that will be more annoying.
Sighing, he reached down to grab his wet shirt by the hem, pulling it over his head and getting his hair slightly damp in the process. He made trade by giving Aslan his t-shirt, slipping on the button-up that was only a little bit oversized or at least that is what Felipe told himself as he worked on the buttons.
Aslan did not think to look away, and Felipe didnât try to hide. After all, they were both guys and friends, so what was the problem? Felipe definitely worked out though. It was impressive to Aslanâs untrained eye. He was glad he had the undershirt. He would not necessarily call himself ripped even if he liked hiking and playing with the dog and swimming and no small number of outdoor activities.
But he smiled more obviously, because Felipe took the shirt, and maybe it was too big, but it was dry and still smelled more like cologne than the smoke drifting from the food stalls. So he thought it would be reasonably comfortable.
Also.
He looked away.
Felipe did look cute in the oversized shirt.
He avoided eye contact.
âPizza,â he suggested again, since Felipe hadnât complained. âWhat time do the fireworks start going off? I wanted to see them still.â
The shirt did smell real nice, catching himself before outright sniffing it. Felipe folded his arms again, this time much less sticky.
âWe can catch the ones in Mar Luna in about an hour or so, I think? Do I look like a tourist guide?â The collar of the shirt hung a bit loose despite having all the buttons buttoned. âIf you told me your plans, maybe I could try to arrange the stops.â
Aslan shrugged. âI have no plans. Find Hakan before he ends up joining a dance troupe. See fireworks. Eat dinner with you.â He looked at Felipe, perfectly innocently, and maybe it was the sheer obliviousness that lent such confidence to his smile. It made Felipe roll his eyes for some reason.
He did not mention that Felipe was very contradictory. It would make Felipe mad. Then, he suspected, when he said he found it cute, it would annoy Felipe more. But it was part of his curious charm. He seemed to be possibly very soft hearted underneath his sarcasm and defenses. Aslan wanted to ruffle his hair. That, however, was the worst idea of all. He kept his hands to himself.
âWhat was your plan after food?â
âYou ruined my original plans and the buzz is going out of the window, so,â Felipe sighed dramatically, rubbing the bridge of his nose. âNo plans, maybe a long shower before going to bed or something. Why? Do you want to rain on my parade again?â His lips quirked in amusement despite his rude words.
âAnyway, the best pizza in town is by the beach, so follow me. We can avoid crowds over here.â
âPerhaps for the best,â Aslan replied (and Felipe glared), still thinking that Felipe had planned to involve himself in some sort of underground fighting venture. He began to follow Felipe, which was a much better plan, since Felipe knew where he was going and seemed less inclined to bump into strangers in a crowd. But Aslan was relieved to hear that there might be fewer people near the beach. His brain felt a little jangled by the crowd still. It would help to go somewhere a little quieter, clear his head.
Also, if he walked behind Felipe, he could enjoy the oversized shirt without offending. It was definitely cute.
âHow old is your sister?â he asked after a moment. He thought she must not be old enough to be out partying, because if she was, Felipe did not seem like the kind of older brother whoâd let her wander around drunken crowds alone. He also wondered how old Felipe was and thought maybe if he could ascertain the sisterâs age, he might be able to figure out the brotherâs.
Felipe hoped, at least, that most people were occupied by other events at the beach and the plaza since the pizzeria was closer to a residential block and the wild parties were on the other end of the island.
âSheâs thirteen this year. Her birthday is ways off, though.â He shrugged his shoulders, growing annoyed with the sleeves, so he decided to roll them up as he walked, going down some haphazard stairs to sea level. âYou said you were the middle brother, right? No wonder youâre going through life at your own pace.â
Thirteen? How old was Felipe then? Aslan peered at him. He looked about college age. Was he just 18 and doing all that work? He couldnât help but be curious about Felipeâs household. Who was watching her right now, then? Hasan had raised his brothers more or less single-handedly, so it wasnât like it was impossible for Felipe to be raising her alone, and maybe she was just watching t.v. by herself. Thirteen-year-olds could be pretty responsible. Heâd been pretty responsible at that age.
Heâd been pretty responsible at seven, though.
But it did make him a little sad, the way it sometimes made him a little sad to think about everything his brother had gone through on their behalf. It was funny: in the background of his life, people were talking about heroes and villains and completely fantastical things. But he couldnât really make sense of knights in shining armor. He could, however, make sense of the Hasans and Felipes of the world. It felt silly to know he was âChosenâ when he had done so little for others in his life comparatively.
âYou are amazing,â he said after a moment. âYes, the middle of five.â He cleared his throat, embarrassed. âI donât like to rush things.â
âWh-what the hell are you blabbering about now?â Felipe groaned, stopping when he reached the end of the stairs and arrived at the sand of the beach, folding his arms over his chest to glare at Aslan and immediately looking away. âYouâre so weird sometimesâ but anyway, I noticed that. You look sleepy half of the time. Or bored. I donât know. Whatever.â
After a shrug, he began to walk towards the beach pizzeria he mentioned. It was open, so it had a pretty great view, and while there were some people, it was comparatively empty.
Aslan rubbed his chin, thinking. âThatâs just my face?â he replied. âIâm not bored. Or sleepy.â He could smell pizza. The delicious grease of pepperoni and the sweeter savory note of dough. His stomach growled. He hopped a little, realizing that Felipe had already started towards the restaurant, though it only took a step or two to catch up with him.
âWell, you look it,â Felipe replied with a shrug and without stopping walking. He knew it wasnât the case now, at least.
Aslan didnât explain what he was blabbering about, though he did grin to himself. Felipe didnât know how to take a compliment. He probably hadnât been commended very much growing up. That also struck him as sad. Felipe was like a little cat you might find sheltering under a car. All hisses and scratches, but not because it was a bad cat. Only because it didnât know how to feel safe with people. It oddly made him want to hug Felipe a little, even though he knew that was the fastest way to be bitten. But he thought he should at least compliment the young man more often, even if it made Felipe bristleâŠ
âI guess you are like the hare to my tortoise?â he said after a moment. âNo, not that. Maybe it does seem strange, though. You are always energetic. I guess thatâs because you have to be.â
âI guess, but Iâm not losing in this tale,â Felipe glanced over at Aslan before he stepped underneath the roof of the restaurant. A waitress greeted him, and he waved, but he knew the place, so he found an empty table with a view towards the beach. Without waiting for Aslan, he took a seat, crossing his legs and leaning back. âYou have to be energetic to get through life. There are so many things to do each day. I canât imagine doing it any other way.â
âI justâŠfocus on one thing and then the next,â Aslan said, taking a seat across from Felipe. He observed the youth for a long moment. Felipe did come off as very confident to him, like anywhere he occupied, he owned. But at the same time, there was something underneath that. Something harder to define. Like an anxiety, maybe. He wished that he was as attuned to others as Aditi had been. Maybe if he was, it would be helpful⊠Instead, he looked out at the ocean, resting his arms on the table.
âIâŠhave a dream about the ocean. Sometimes,â he said, squinting into the twilight beyond the window. âIâm very angry. Iâm throwing rocks and shells into the waves and yelling at someoneâŠwho isnât there. Then a woman walks up and puts her hand on my shoulder. She has a very stern face. Just like that, I remember to breatheâŠâ He scoffed softly, shaking his head. âI donât know why Iâm telling you this. JustâŠseeing the ocean at night makes me think of it.â
âThatâs a weird dream,â Felipe said, but he softened almost immediately, casting his gaze towards the waves. âMy grandma used to say all dreams have a meaningâI never have any, well, any that I remember, but. Maybe itâs telling you something.â He turned to gaze over at Aslan, his expression way less grumpy than before. âMy neighbor would say that itâs your lotto number, but I forgot what seashells and the ocean symbolized.â He chuckled and shrugged again.
âMaybe it was at your parents for never being thereâI⊠get that.â Without saying more, he picked up the big menu to read it and more importantly, to not look at Aslan.
âMaybe it was,â Aslan agreed. Certainly, in the dream, he was angryâŠat a family member or family members. It was perhaps Aditi, railing at her brother and sister for leaving her alone with Gurenâs problems. He wondered if everyone whoâd had a life in Elysium had experienced some kind of parallel here. But that wasnât something he could even say to Felipe, who probably would think he was talking about a video game, or maybe that he was strange in a much deeper way. Well, maybe they all wereâŠthe former Elysians. But now that heâd started to get used to it, it seemed almost normal. Just a slightly different shape of normalcy.
He relaxed, slumping in his seat a little. Felipeâs tone and his expression seemed softer nowâheâd even chuckled. And somehow, Aslan really wanted to remain in that moment, with Felipeâs guard down just a little. The atmosphere felt nice. But he wasnât sure how to make it stay, and then Felipe picked up the menu. After a moment, he picked up his own, although he already knew he wanted pepperoni and mushroom.
âWhy become a parent if you arenât going toâŠparent,â he mumbled. âAt some point, you cannot just say you have to do things for yourself andâŠâ But he stopped, shaking his head. âIf someone depends on you, thatâs important to remember.â
âPeople are selfish, and parents are people.â Felipe thought that explained everything even if it sucked. It was the truth, anyway. âI agree, though⊠caring for your family isnât a chore but a privilege. Besides, who says you canât live your life while caring for others? Shitheads.â Maybe he wasnât going to have sex tonight, but⊠âIâll have chicken and veggies on mine.â
It did explain, more or less. In the end, they all were just people. Most of them making mistakes each day. All of them making mistakes eventually. âMy brother HasanâŠâ he started. He sometimes wondered if Hasan had really lived his life while caring for them. Maybe he had. But he wondered if a life that was just studying and working was really that fulfilling for him. âI guess there were too many of us. No time to do anything except what he had to do.â He busied himself with the menu, without really looking at it. âI wish he had not. But I donât think there was a choice. Pepperoni and mushroom.â
Aslan put down the menu, folding his arms over the table. âProbably sometimesâŠâ His thoughts had returned to Aditi. âSometimes, there isnât another option. You only do what you have to.â He glanced at Felipe.
âTo have a choice is to have a privilege.â Felipe didnât sound bitter about this, but he was aware his words were a bit grim. âMaybe ask your brother if he feels fulfilled. Taking care of others can be, for me, it is, at least.â He motioned over at the waitress before giving her their order. âWhat drink do you want? Iâll have iced tea or diet coke.â
Aslan nodded. Pipe had a good point. Being able to pick and choose⊠He supposed there was always an option to leave it to the next brother in line, and then the next, and⊠But Hasan had not done that. It was good advice, though: asking his brother about how he felt. Most of them were now old enough that he shouldnât have to feel any responsibility for them. Only Selim, really, was still too young, but he had four older brothers. They could all chip in. They should. He supposed he had not tried hard enough in that respect. He should do better, if he wanted to be like Hasan and Felipe.
âIs that what youâd like to do?âOrange soda.âif you could just do one job? Take care of others, like a nurse or a massage therapist orâŠ?â He was not sure why those were the caretaking jobs that first came to mind. He pulled at his chin a moment, a little embarrassed by the implications of them. â...lifeguard?â
âIâm a certified lifeguard, actually,â Felipe shrugged his shoulders, watching the waitress leave. It hadnât been particularly hard to get, just had to pass a test and have certifications for first aid and whatnot. He put the menu back down and arched his eyebrow at Aslan. âWhy, were you thinking of asking me for a massage? I could give you one, butâŠâ His lips curled into a smug grin. âI only give massages with a happy ending.â
It wasnât exactly true, but he had to get back at Aslan for being nice.
âOhâŠâ Aslan said, though somehow that was not very surprising after seeing Felipe both working as wait staff at a party and then a dog walker. âDo you like that more thanââ he started to ask before Felipe mentioned massages, and he turned a little pink. It seemed like something very intimate to ask someone else to do just out of the blue, and so he spluttered, âN-no⊠I just⊠UmâŠâ Nurses and massage therapistsâmaybe if he had said one or the other, but saying it all together, even he could understand how it came off. What he did not understand was, âA happy ending? Is that becauseâŠyou fall asleep since itâs so relaxingâŠ?â
Felipe snorted, letting out a soft laugh as he looked over at Aslang through dark lashes. âSomething like that. Wanna find out?â There was no way he was serious, right? It had to be his flavor of a joke. âBut hmmm, I did dress as a nurse for Halloween once now that you mention it. I did consider studying something like that at some point, but it was a big time sink.â
Aslan was back to turning pink again. He was certain Felipe was teasing him, but sometimes it was hard to tell when it was a joke or not. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. âM-maybe next time,â he said, trying to joke back, not sure if it would land. It felt a little flat to him, and that was usually a bad sign. He probably shouldnât have said it at all, without knowing what Felipe even meant. Euphemisms could be very confusing. There was no telling what one could mean until you looked it up.
âMaybe,â Felipe looked at Aslan with played-up hunger in his eyes, batting his eyelashes at him, and tugging at the corner of his bottom lip. âGuess weâll be finding out sometime.â If Aslan was going to tease him, so could he.
Aslan looked up and then looked down again quickly. What was that look? No one ever looked at him that way? What did it mean? And besides that, there were so many questions about the nurse costume... Had Felipe dressed up in scrubs? Or had he worn a âsexy nurseâ costume? Did that mean he had worn a skirt? He probably could make that work. He seemed like he had nice legs. Was it a gag, or had he been serious? Waitâhe stopped himself. The most important question here was: why was he even wondering about all that? Probably it had just been some kind of dare or joke. There was no need to think about it so much. He shook his head.
âStudying for medical positionsâŠtakes a very long time,â he agreed. âItâs a lifestyle, maybe.â Long ago, they had helped Hasan with his studies from time to timeânever really understanding the questions they were asking him. But Aslan thought maybe some of it must have sunken on some rudimentary level. He had found veterinary school to somehow be more intuitive because of it.
âYou would be a cute nurse.â
Felipe opened his mouth to comment about the life in medical studies before his cheek warmed up and he groaned, looking away with a frown and a groan. âBet you say that to everyone.â It annoyed him that Aslan kept getting him off guard, warmth creeping up his cheeks despite his best efforts to remain unaffected.
The Lazy Lion was such a flirt for such an unassuming guy, but he had been pretty unrelenting today. Maybe he did want something from him⊠Maybe he just wanted Felipe to make the first move and thatâs why he kept acting dumb and then flipping and hittting on him. He was so annoying.
Aslan shook his head. âNot everyone.â He barely ever talked to anyone, after all. That wasnât really a good thing, though, so he thought he shouldnât just blurt it out. He was sure Felipe already thought he was weird. He didnât want to come off as the kind of oddball who ended up in a streaming special docuseries. He was not that! He was justâŠpeople were hard. That was all.
For a moment, he squirmed. Not a strong enough conversationalist to smoothly pick up from there, or gloss over to the next thing with ease. Instead, he racked his brain for something to say that wouldnât be completely inane or boring. He was actually concerned with the notion that others might think he was boring. Why couldnât people be like animal friends? Communing, easily, in peaceable silence? ThoughâŠmaybe that would be weird, since communing with animals generally required cuddling, and people did not often do that out of the blue with people they were just getting to know. He scratched his cheek.
âIâmâŠstudying to be a veterinarian?â he finally offered, the statement definitely coming off as a question.
It always seemed like Aslan flirts hard with him before backing out, and Felipe was still very unsure what to think of it. Sure, it was nice to hang around him because there seemed to be little pretenseâyet he was very straightforward and confusing all the same. Oh, well, he wasnât going to lose his mind over it.
â...Are you?â He looked over again, adjusting the collar of the shirt, again, too. âMakes sense, I guess. You love animals and your brother, so⊠animal doctor. It suits you.â
Aslan nodded, though he thought maybe throwing that random fact out was a bad idea, because he didnât have anything to follow it up with. It was good, because Felipe seemed to get him without him having to explain anything, but now once again, he struggled to think of something that would be interesting for Felipe to talk about. He wanted to ask if Felipe wanted to be a doctor or nurse. The assumption was that his companion had just finished high school and was working in order to save up for school. But he recalled that when heâd asked something like this before, Felipe had not liked it.
Instead, back to thinking about nurses, his mind circled back around to costume parties and carnival, and he remarked, âYou donât seem like you would enjoy parties very much. But you do? I go to them, but I neverâdonât normally talk to anyone. And then I leave. The boat was difficult. No leaving after I saw the dolphins. And too much loud music.â
âI donât enjoy them as much as some people, but I always make an exception for this. Letting go and basking in the anonymity is fun, donât you think? Enjoying some mindless fun and sex.â Felipe leaned forward, cupping his chin in his hand as he looked over at Aslan. âBut I get you, people are exhausting, and not being able to leave when you want is the worst.â He scratched his beard, looking over to the beach, catching sight of some kids running around.
âSo what do you like? Other than animals, I mean.â
âMindless fun and sexâŠ?â For half a second, his brow furrowed. He supposed, overall, he considered sex a mindless activity. But then, Aslan had not seen a lot of reason to put much thought or effort into it. His ex-girlfriends had been critical of that, but he couldnât really understand the hype. It was fine. At least, it had been fine for him? But also, âIâŠhave neverâŠwith someone I didnât know,â he admitted. Not blushing, but the words did come falteringly. âIsnât it dangerous? With strangers?â He followed Felipeâs gaze, watching the children enjoying themselves on a later-than-usual evening. âThough I guessâŠwith strangers, you can leave when you want.â
âThereâs pros and cons, and sure, it can be dangerous if you donât take precautions, but it can also be a lot of fun?â Felipe shrugged his shoulders. âFriends with benefits are the best, though.â He was now confused why Aslan kept hitting on him, though, did he count as someone he knew now?
Aslan did know what âfriends with benefitsâ meant. He nodded, because that made sense. If you liked sex for the sake of having sex, he could see it being a lot easier and more enjoyable between friends rather than romantic partners, where the emphasis on it being an act of love meant getting it wrong could turn alarmingly fraught. He could never grasp how sex proved or disproved someoneâs overall feelings for another, butâŠwell, a mutual compatibility in the area did seem to be a make or break element of his adult relationships. And, as he was sitting across from Felipe, single, nowâŠit was clear it was typically a âbreak.â
But the conversation had, to Aslan, taken a slightly bewildering turn. He tried to wrest his thoughts away from it. These were not matters he really put much brain power towards normally. Sex was, after all, just one of those things that living creatures did, and it was normal and natural in its variety, but it wasnât all that exciting to him personally. He scratched his cheek again. He felt somehow more curious about it when Felipe brought it up. Maybe there was something the youth knew that he didnât? (Something his exes wanted him to know, but heâd never figured out?) He shook his head.
âI like being outdoors. Hiking or swimmingâŠor just sunbathing. Itâs nice to just relax and look at the clouds. Do you ever have enough free time to relax?â
Felipe nodded his head, looking at Aslan from the corner of his eye. âI like sunbathing and swimming on the beach when I can afford the time. Just lying down underneath the sun to tan a little or going for a bike ride. Maybe pulling out my old skates.â
Aslan smiled and nodded, pleased that they shared a lot of hobbies. âI havenât skated since I was little,â he said, and then frowned minutely. He had not been good at it, which probably Felipe might suspect. Aslan was not the most graceful of people, after all, and being supported by two sets of wheelsâŠwas not optimal. He also was not very good at riding bikes either, though he knew how to. âYou are a lifeguard,â he added. âSo it makes sense. That you like the beach. I like swimming, but I like wading. There are a lot of interesting fish that sometimes come up to you, if you just stand still.â
âYou would love fishiesâfish,â Felipe immediately corrected himself and hid the dumb smile that was about to spread across his face. âThey can be colorful and interesting or weird and scary. I get it.â The waitress returned with their order, so he straightened his posture. It smelled so good. âMaybe we can hang out at a beach sometime,â he offered absentmindedly as he picked up a slice between his fingers, parting his lips to take a bite.
Aslanâs fingers moved from his cheek, catching in his hair. He looked down, trying not to smile too much at âfishies.â That aloneâŠmade Aslan feel that Felipe must have been the one raising his little sister. Even though she might be 13 now, it probably wasnât that long ago that he was taking her to the beach to see âfishies.â It was a really cute image, and the idea of Felipe being somehow fatherly had an appeal to it that he couldnât really put a name to in the moment.
He looked up as the waitress slid the delicious pies between them. The smell of it made his stomach grumble again, and yet he paused before grabbing a slice of his own. Aslan was a little surprised that Felipe had suggested they hang out, and because heâd been caught off-guard by that, he also had become strangely aware of the way Felipe opened his mouth before taking a bite. He wasnât sure why that stood out to him, only that it did, and it gave him a feeling that confused him more than anything.
He shook his head, blinking and raising his eyebrows as he tried to make sense of his own mind, and then picked up a slice. âI would like that a lot,â he agreed, and Felipe offered a little smile. Though he wondered if Felipe was just saying it to be nice. He didnât seem like heâd have free time to spare. So Aslan wasnât sure if it was just one of those things people might say because it was conversational and friendly, or because he did want to spend his precious free time hanging out more. He guessed heâd know if Felipe texted him to tell him he was free.
âDoes your sister like fish?â he asked, dabbing his mouth with a napkin to clean away the pizza grease. His mind had wandered back to the vision of a younger Felipe holding a girl by the hand and pointing out the flickering bodies under the surf. It was very cute! âOr do you?â
Felipe licked the tips of his fingers before wiping them on a napkin when he realized what he was doing. âShe doesâwell, we both do, but she wants to be a marine biologist.â He smiled proudly as his eyes crinkled up with affection, reaching for his drink to take a sip. âIâm sure she would have lots to talk with you if you met her.â
âI considered that,â he admitted. âMar Luna is a good place to learn about it.â But in the end, heâd preferred the medical side of sciences. More importantly, his mental image of Felipe and his sister exploring the tide had now been firmly imprinted on his brain, and it was how he would forevermore see Felipe, no matter how he barked or even bit. He continued eating his pizza and smiling. âWhat is her name?â
"She's smart, much smarter than I am, so I'll make sure she will be able to study like she wants to." Felipe bit into the edge of the pizza, chewing thoughtfully. "Luisa." He smiles proudly, once again, picking another slice and holding it in the air to bite into it. "She's named after my late grandmother. Anyway, uh, I don't want to bore you with my lifeâs story, so let's talk about something else."
Aslan looked briefly disappointed. He wanted Felipe to keep going, to tell him more about his family and his life. How could that be boring? But even he could tell that it was a deflection, away from something that maybe Felipe wasnât ready to divulge yet. He cast his eyes to his pizza and nodded. âI have two younger brothers. Selim and Hakanâthatâs the oneâŠsleeping somewhere. Selim is only a kid still. Oh, and two older. I guess I told you that already. My oldest brother, Hasan, is the one who raised us.â He took a long sip of soda, his expression as he sucked on the straw a little childlike somehow. He released it, licking his lips, and cleared his throat. âIs it only you and Luisa?â
Felipe put the half-eaten slice back down, his brow knotting up for a moment. âYeah, itâs been just us for six years nowâthereâs an aunt, but not by blood, and sheâs old, so I donât like to give her trouble.â He shrugged his shoulders, trying to sound unaffected and clinical. âShe was a lot of help when Luisa was younger, though.â
âSorry. IâŠâ Aslan put his pizza down too. âYou wereâŠtwelve?â he asked, but Felipe made his bristled-up cat face. That was so young, even with an aunt semi-in the picture. The image of a little Felipe taking Luisa to the beach was suddenly a lot less cute. He was quiet for a moment, avoiding asking any more difficult questions for the moment. And then he ran his hand through his hair again, ducking his head, and the corner of his mouth quirked with an apologetic smile. âI guess I rained on your night off again, didnât I?â
He didnât look all that torn up, but there was a bit of contrition in his expression as he said it. How could he save the conversation? It might be beyond his social skills. He tried to reach in deep and find Aditi, say what maybe she would say. She was good in even the most tricky social situationsâŠ
Felipe opened his mouth to speak, but it looked like Aslan hadnât finished talking, so he narrowed his eyes as he bit into his pizza again.
âI guessâŠafter this, I should find Hakan. So that he doesnât end up texting Hasan and make him drop everything to find him.â That would be the responsible thing to do, to keep Hasan from having to deal with more than he needed to. âItâs strange. Iâve always had a strange sense that I am responsible for somethingâor that I should be responsible for more than I take responsibility for. But I also have a feeling that comes with itâthat I hate feeling that way. So I sometimes put things off. Iâve felt that way for as long as I can remember. I probably havenât been as good of a little brother as Luisa has probably been a good sister.â He didnât feel sorry for himself, but he thought it should be said and remembered. He should do a better job.
âJust how young do you think I look?â Felipe finally asked with a huff, reaching for a napkin to rid his lips of some grease with some light patting. He supposed he should be grateful his twink years were enduring, but at the same time, he hated being treated like a child.
âBut if you need to look for your brother, donât let me hold you up. Iâm sure you have more important things to do than talk with me.â Even if the rest of the things Aslan said grated his ears, was it really his problem? No, butâŠ
âDonât beat yourself for wanting to avoid your duties. No one likes them. I get that, and, well, Iâm the last person you need to excuse yourself to.â
Was this a trick question? It definitely was with women. He had learned it was safest to estimate well below the actual guess when a woman told you to guess her age. But if he de-aged Felipe, heâd be a high school student, which he at least was clearly not. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out if this was dangerous territory or not. Finally, he said, â...eighteen?â Felipeâs expression immediately turned sour at the answer, his eyes narrowing.
But his appetite had returned, so he picked his pizza back up, noticing the pretty red-orange pool of grease that had escaped onto the plate. It really was great pizza. If pizza did not require a few napkins before it was served⊠Though he hadnât dabbed his. He probably should have. He instead tried to keep it from dripping and eat quickly, which was a bad idea, because he choked a little when Felipe said he didnât have to stick around.
âI donât have more important things to do?â he replied, genuinely confused, wiping his mouth with a napkin. âOnly that I should do that. But later.â He still thought letting Hakan sweat a little was okay. Everyone had to grow up sometime, and maybe sometimes that required a little difficulty in life. Anyway, Hakan probably had already found the nearest group of dancing people and joined in. He very well might have forgotten about being lost.
His napkin was nearly transparent. He searched for a new one. Heâd put his foot in his mouth, and he didnât know how to undo it very easily, starting with, â...you arenât 18, are you?â
Felipe clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes as he looked away from Aslan. âYou must be a genius. For your sake, Iâll take it as a compliment.â He finished his slice, but with a bit over half a personal pizza left, he was done for nowâhe could save the rest for another meal and save some money.
âAre you sure you want to spend more time with me?â
Aslanâs face grew redder. Why was it so hard to guess peopleâs ages? Maybe he should age men up? Would 19 really have been better than 18? At least he thought now that Felipe must be in his 20s. They might even be close in age, though he thought there was something very youthful about Felipeâs face. He didnât feel the mistake was entirely unfounded. But it had put Felipe back into a spiky mood, and he wasnât sure how to fix it.
Also, Felipe didnât continue eating pizza, so he had to ask, âAre you asking me becauseâŠyou want me to say âyesââŠso you can go?â The question only served to make Felipe frown more.
It made him a little sad if that was true; he also thought that that was a rather odd thing to do. Why not just say he wanted to leave if Felipe was done with hanging out? If he had somewhere to be, then Aslan didnât want to keep him, but he didnât understand the point of trying to make Aslan say it.
He wasnât angry, but he was hungry, so he turned his attention to eating his pizza, and then, though it wasnât actually out of spite, took a second slice. Once he found Hakan, his brother would probably want the rest (probably would need it, really), so he wanted to eat what he wanted to eat before then.
âSince I said I would treat youâŠyou donât have to stay if you donât want to,â he said plainly, from behind a slice of pizza, now used as a shield.
âIâm not going anywhere,â Felipe replied just as plainly, staring at Aslan in the eye before deciding to eat one final slice. He could fit it in. âI just donât understand why you donât spend your time elsewhere, but whatever, itâs your business, not mine. If you want to stay, I like tâdonât mind it,â he grumbled, annoyed that he ended up blabbering more than he should, so he took a few angry bites.
There was a kind of intensity to Felipe; Aslan found it hard to hold his own gaze as Felipe looked him in the eye, but he felt like he probably should. If he looked away, maybe Felipe would think that Aslan wanted him to leave, and he didnât. So he nodded and ate his pizza, which was a little awkward because he wasnât very used to looking anyone in the eye while eating and that felt weirdly intimate. Inevitably, he dropped his gaze from that, feeling a little self-conscious and covering his mouth with his knuckles for a moment as he swallowed.
âDoes it really matter why I donât?â he asked, feeling calmer again. âI think it is fine just to want to. No reason is necessary.â He wondered why Felipe would feel that way, like there should be some reason outside of just enjoying the company⊠Wasnât that why people spent time together? Because they enjoyed it? He liked Felipeâs company. He liked it a little more when Felipeâs face stopped seeming so wary, but he liked it when he was being guarded, too. He didnât know the reason; he just knew he liked it, and so why worry about the reason? But he perked up at the talk of fireworks. He looked at his personal pizza, which he thought he probably could eat whole, but when he found Hakan, he was sure his brother would be hungry from all that dancing and walking around, so he would save it.
âI guess it doesnât,â Felipe nodded a few times, reaching for his drink to drain it empty. âBut I like knowing the reason of things, so I still ask. Just forget about it,â he waved his hand dismissively.
Once he was done, he picked up more napkins to try and clean himself the best he could. âI really want to shower, but you said you wanted to see fireworks, soâ we can do that. We should wrap up and find a good place to look at them.â
âI do want to see them. Do you know a good place?â he asked, hoping maybe it would be a place that had fewer people banging together.
âMaybe my bedroom,â Felipe joked, lowering his lashes to give Aslan a look before laughing. âAll the good spots in Mar Luna must be taken, but I have the keys to someoneâs house that overlooks Mar Luna. Their balcony is probably the best spot.â And as it happened, he was planning to go there tonight for other reasons, but this one was also valid.
It certainly looked like Aslan seriously (and very innocently) was considering joining Felipe in his room to watch fireworks. The joke went so far over his headâŠit might have wound up back in Elysium, making Felipe roll his eyes, but also smile. He finished the rest of his second slice, wiping his hands and his mouth and trying to make sure his beard was neat, too. Even Aslan preferred not to look like a slob. By that point, Felipe had already offered up a different and better spot, and he nodded, though he was a little surprised to hear that Felipe had the keys for someone elseâs house, but then maybe that was one of his many jobs? Perhaps he was watering the plants while the occupant was awayâor maybe it was the home of one of the dogs he walked? He doubted Felipe would have them for any illegitimate reason, and so he nodded.
âI would love toâŠif itâs okay.â He turned to try to catch their waitressâs eye to get the check. âIâŠthink people are interesting, but itâs still tiring to be around so many other humans in one day.â He chuckled, wincing just a little. âItâs nice, being able to enjoy something special with only a friend instead of hundreds of strangers.â
Felipe patted his pockets just to make sure he had it with him, and he did. âItâs cool, Iâm keeping their house warm while they visit some family for like a month.â They even let him use one of the beds in case he wanted to stay over for some reason. It wasnât the case this time around. âI agree with you, and weâve had a lot of people today, so hanging out with a frââ His expression shifted, blinking a few times when he noticed what Aslan had called him. âFriend?â
âOh, is it too soon to say that?â Aslan asked, tapping his cheek and frowning. Maybe there were rules about when you could properly call a friend, like that âthree dateâ rule in Hollywood moviesâŠthat no one ever actually seemed to adhere to. He wondered what the point of a rule no one followed was. But more importantly, he wondered if he had overstepped some bounds. His family was very close-knit, so he had never been that worried about being very awkward in the past. As long as people left him to his own devices, he didnât mind being alone. So he wasnât very experienced with these things. âSorry, maybe it was too soon. Is friendly acquaintance betterâŠ?â
Shaking his head, Felipe reached over to pat Aslanâs hand. âItâs fine, itâs just a word. If you trust me that much, Iâm not going to argue.â If he was a few years younger, he surely wouldâve made it a thing, but that was the magic of growing up and having to be a pseudo-parent. âAnyway, we should get the rest packed up if youâre done eating. Weâre probably running short in time before they begin.â