Joaco and Eli Figure Out Things WHO: Eli and Joaco WHEN: 26 Jan WHERE: One of Joaco's Rooms SUMMARY: Eli visits the Ivory Tower and Emotions Run High CW: Some light kissing, mentions of sex, and heartbreak
Eli went to a rich middle school and part of high school back in the city. He had friends who lived in big, fancy penthouses, that felt like mansions in the clouds, looking down on the city that seemed so small below.
The Bravo house was something else. There was no feeling of being giant, hovering over the ants below. The Bravos didn’t need that to feel that way. They just were.
And to think he had an invitation to come over felt even stranger. Definitely not to the level Joaco felt, Eli recognized. He still occupied wealth adjacent throughout his life. But to be let in by servants and to almost get lost finding Joaco’s room. He had a brief moment of anxiety of running into Alejo. That is all he needed.
He knocked on the door, “Are you decent?” He asked, with a sense of mock seriousness.
Somehow in the span of a month, Joaco had managed to fit himself into his new family. Sure, he didn’t feel exactly welcome, but his apparently innate business acumen had surprised his father, and apparently word had reached his grandfather.
That was why he now had a room of his own in the mansion. In the few times he talked to Rodolfo, he seemed to be testing Joaco to see if what he heard was true, and so far, he had passed all the tests. He had barely returned from the office when Eli arrived.
“Is thar a trick question?” Joaco smirked, turning to look at the door, still in a suit. “It’s open.”
Eli grinned a little as he opened the door then closed it behind him, “Yes, that is a trick question. Because I am assuming you now shower and sleep in suits.” He paused. “Nice suit by the way.” He spotted a chair and decided to plop himself down. He wasn’t wearing anything quite as nice – just jeans and a polo, “I think I’m under-dressed.” He grinned.
“We could easily fix that,” Joaco replied, staring at Eli as he loosened his tie before he winked at him.
“So,” Eli began. “How are things?”
“I’m fine,” Joaco shot back with trained ease and a shrug of his shoulders, pulling his office chair to sit on it backwards, keeping eye contact on Eli. “What about you? We have’t had time to talk in a while.”
Eli perked his eyebrows up as Joaco began to take off his tie, “Business casual, I like. Well, you certainly wear a suit like a Bravo,” he teased a little, returning a wink of his own. That earned Eli a little laugh from the other man.
He noticed how Joaco chose to sit in the chair, reminded him of the cool teacher in an 80s sitcom. And somehow that didn’t bother him.
“You’re fine, I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything less,” Eli replied with a sigh. Joaco didn’t seem like the sort to say he wasn’t fine ever.
As Joaco asked about him, Eli sighed as he had a cringe moment with their little tif at the meeting. In the end, he got Joaco to outwardly admit he was Gaius instead of talking around it – a plume to the hat of the future lawyer. But somehow, he felt like Joaco still won. Eli let that fire that had been growing in his gut overtake him, losing his temper. And Joaco was able to put out the fire with such a simple gesture.
“Ah, well, trying to figure out what is going on with everything and myself and also trying to not fail out of law school. You know, completely normal things to worry about,” he leaned back, his hands interlaced behind the back of his head.
“They are as normal as anything else around here, at least.” Joaco placed his arms over the chair’s back rest, propping his chin on top of them. “We even have meetings for this kind of stuff,” he added with another shrug of his shoulders.
Eli scoffed a little, “It is the new normal, I guess. Our meetings. The same questions. The lack of answers. I don’t know, what do you think about everything? What are your theories?”
“I don’t really have any. Should I? There is quite a bit going on in my life, as you know,” Joaco gestured with his hand, figuring there was no need to elaborate. “But I believe in you, I know law school will never defeat you, even when the odds are stacked against you.”
Eli smiled a little at Joaco saying that he believed in him. “Yeah, maybe I can smack it with my sword a few times and ascend to the next level as a real lawyer. To be honest, just dueling out decisions would save a lot of time,” he noted wryly. “Not that I favor that. Not without my stone at least. Outside that, I’m not much of a fighter physically. I will slay with my words.”
Joaco chuckled. “Me either. Make love, not war, right?” Eli laughed in response.
“I’m not exactly a patient person so just this waiting for the weirdos to appear or the monsters or whatever and just still wanting to know why now. Why this pause, you know?” Eli added after a moment.
With a nod of his head, Joaco hummed in thought. “Maybe they are tired. They could’ve ran off for a ski trip somewhere further north.”
Eli snickered at Joaco’s joke, “Maybe not a ski trip but… if our current crystals make us tired if we use them, perhaps a similar thing for them?”
“Maybe… have you thought it’s like doing leg day after skipping out an entire month?” The comparison made sense to him. “Or moving from low altitude to something much higher,” Joaco made a little plane with his hand. “If you don’t work out, it’s always going to be sore… or in this case, tired.”
“Actually, no, I don’t know skipping leg day,” Eli laughed. “Yeah maybe that is it…” He paused thinking about it. Maybe the Dark Knight had to wake up too.
"Dancing without stretching? Remind me to take you to the gym sometime." Joaco scratched his cheek.
“Stretching is different!”
Eli decided to shift gears, “So yeah, a lot has been going on with you. What have you been doing with yourself? Have you been bonding with your half-siblings? Beginning to fit in? And if you say it is all fine, I will punch you!” He shook his face playfully.
He really wished Joaco did have theories but Joaco had made it clear he wanted to just focus on this life. Or he is hiding something. He couldn’t help but think the latter, even as Joaco had accused him of not trusting their friends.
"We're alone in one of my new bedrooms and you came here to ask me questions?" Joaco smirked, leaning back before standing up. "We could be doing much better things," he said, removing his tie completely, and tossing it over at Eli before reaching up to slide out of his suit jacket, hanging it on the chair.
Eli’s eyes widened as Joaco also decided to shift gears to a completely different direction – a distraction. “Bedrooms? You have two? Is one for guests the other your secret inner sanctum?” He smirked a little, cupping his chin with his hand.
"This is not my home home. It's more like the family home? I have stuff here, clothes and everything else, just like Alejandro and Fernanda." Joaco shrugged his shoulders as he took a few steps to close the distance.
“What, you don’t like me practicing my lawyering on you?” Eli perked his eyebrows up. He swallowed trying to make sure he’s reading the room right. Joaco just rolled his eyes.
Is this just Joaco being the ocean, touching his toes before rolling back out again? Or was this …?
The tie landed partially over his face and he removed it before dropping to the ground.
“Are you… flirting with me?” he decided to take one of Joaco’s lines.
"I don't know, what do you think?" Joaco stopped at only two buttons left, standing before Eli, hands on his shoulders as he gave them a gentle but firm squeeze before he began to rub and knead them. "You seem highly wired today. You sure everything is okay?"
No, this is happening, Eli thought as the fire inside warmed him a little, but a more pleasant warmth. Was he okay? He didn’t know. He hadn’t been okay really since everything started. And Joaco was such a conundrum for him. He really liked him and was attracted to Joaco. But still…
“I… I…” Eli stuttered, trying to focus. “I’m just worried something big is going to happen and I don’t know what or coming from where.” Involving Joaco, who he likes a lot and does believe is a good guy.
“And a really good looking guy is flirting with me,” he grinned a little.
Joaco listened, finding Eli incredibly adorable when he was as flustered as he was right now, but he did wish he could make him worry less. One of his hands moved to his hair, affectionately playing with it while the other was cupping the other man's cheek. "It's okay to be scared and worried, but--maybe you don't have to worry so much. Maybe someone is watching your back? Whether it's God, your friends, or just good luck." Smiling warmly, he stroked Eli's cheek with his thumb.
Eli just wish he knew more. He hated missing all the puzzle pieces and the ones that have not been placed anywhere did not fit. And what could he do? Practice his transformation? Try to recollect clouded memories? He wished he could be so carefree about it like Joaco was. But so was Gaius, in a way. Just taking it as it came, and remembering responsibilities.
He shut his eyes at the touch to his cheek. This was not a scene in a play. This was an intimate place. And his heart began to pound. Trust in his friends. Trust in God. Trust in Luck. No, this is where Kyo reared his ugly head, “I want to be able to protect the people I care about. I need to trust myself and understand before I can even do that.”
“There are some questions in life that don’t need an answer,” Joaco argued softly. "I think you really should focus on… the very pressing matters at hand, though," he said, cupping Eli's chin to tip his head up before leaning in to press a light kiss to his lips. It was brief, almost not there, and Joaco walked away, stretching his arms over his head. "Otherwise you'll grow gray hairs, but that might be a good look on you, anyway," he added with a carefree laugh, looking back at Eli with a wide grin.
At the kiss, Eli suddenly agreed. More pressing matters. He reached out to grab Joaco’s shirt or something, his eyes still closed but he had already moved away. And so, his eyes opened.
He rolled his eyes but smiled a little. With his hand running through his dark hair, he smirked a little, “I got a couple decades before that happens.”
He stood up and approached Joaco, “And here you go… acting like the waves again. I see you may need help undoing the last two.” He reached out for his shirt.
“Do I? Hmm.” Joaco turned around to face Eli, standing still, and not moving away from his reach, but also not doing anything to help or encourage him. “Aren’t waves always out of reach? I’m right here. Right in front of you.”
Eli rolled his eyes as he took the opportunity to step closer and undo the last couple of buttons. He hesitated before running his hands under Joaco’s shirt and rest them on his waist.
“No, waves sometimes come crashing down on you, usually when you least expect it. This is why the simile still works,” he sighed. “I think you’re just letting me because I called you out.”
Joaco rubbed his chin. “Well, I don’t.” He shrugged his shoulders, watching Eli approach him, and feeling the warmth of his hands on his skin. “I’m just saying I’m always there for you, even when you don’t know I am.” Taking another step forward, Joaco touched Eli’s cheek, giving it a gentle caress.
Eli’s eyes widened and his heart racing at Joaco’s words. Always there for him, even when he didn’t know? Part of him was absolutely overjoyed. And the other part of him had questions. Even when Eli didn’t know? He wanted to ask questions. Further questions. But how could he without really coming off as a jerk.
“I want to be there for you too,” he said as he ran his thumbs against Joaco’s skin.
He leaned in to return the kiss from earlier, with the same lightness.
“I told you that you worry too much,” Joaco replied, angling his head to kiss Eli back, lightly brushing his fingers over his hair before he pulled back again, pressing a kiss to Eli’s cheek. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be teasing you like this.”
Eli sighed at Joaco’s touch. He found he loved having his hair played with. Just as he leaned in again for another kiss, Joaco stopped with the cheek kiss. It felt like a period.
“Teasing me?” Eli pulled away suddenly. “I’m confused. Do you want to make out or not?” He paused, nervously smirking but also feeling a little miffed, “This is what I mean. I know you care about me and I care about you but it’s like you won’t let me get close to you.” He ran his fingers through his own hair.
“I mean, I do, but…” Joaco let out a soft sigh, growing quiet and looking away from Eli. Very suddenly, the luxury floor’s pattern was incredibly interesting. His hands curled into fists, and after a second, he reached over to take Eli’s hands in his.
“I just–” He lightly squeezed Eli’s hands before looking into his light eyes with his dark ones, fondly gazing into them with an honest sincerity that Joaco didn’t often allow himself to express. “I don’t want to break your heart.”
Eli can’t be mad at Joaco for long, he found. Even as that familiar yet foreign flame began to grow in his belly and gave him energy he didn’t know what to do with, Joaco could always seem to cause it to subside.
He had no reason to doubt Joaco’s sincerity on what he said now or earlier. Eli could tell with those touches and kisses that Joaco meant them, but just couldn’t carry through for some reason. Not wanting to break hearts could be a line in anyone else’s mouth to break up but in Joaco’s it was more, in Eli’s interpretation anyway. And it still was a loaded phrase.
I don’t want to break your heart because – I have a terminal illness? I’m married? I’m working with the shadowy forces?
Also, Eli didn’t want to say that his heart is already threatening to break. But he knew that was selfish to say.
He squeezed Joaco’s hand, gazing away, “That is part of it, right? Entrusting your heart to another and hoping the other doesn’t break it, right?” He paused, and Joaco nodded silently. “What do you want? And don’t cheat and say what you think you should want?”
Eli rubbed his brow with his free hand, “Tell me what you want me to be to you.”
Joaco let out a soft sigh before his lips pressed together into a thin line. “It’s not that easy, not then, and not now.” Or ever, if his lives were any indication of what was to come in the future. “I don’t want to be selfish, you know that.” His grip on Eli’s hand tightened.
Eli knew Joaco didn’t want to be selfish. Gaius didn’t either. What drove Gaius was a sense of purpose for his community. It seemed to be the same for Joaco, although community was less defined this time.
“I want you to be mine,” Joaco confessed in a quiet and almost inaudible whisper as he gave his hand a light tug to pull him into a warm and strong embrace, resting his chin on the other man’s shoulder.
“Why-,” Eli began to ask before Joaco pulled him into a hug and he forgot his question. He gasped as Joaco’s words cut right to his heart. He wanted that too. He wrapped his arms around Joaco in response to give a squeeze as if to let him know, Eli reciprocated.
“...But what I want isn’t a priority, and so–” he pulled back with a goofy grin and an apologetic chuckle. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to be anyone’s boyfriend.”
What Joaco wanted wasn’t a priority? He heard that one before.
At the canned line, Eli gave him a light punch in the shoulder, “Ugh. Why is it not easy now? You don’t have an empire to be chaste for now.” Wincing, Joaco chuckled in amusement at the punch, but he was rubbing his shoulder as if it hurt.
Eli didn’t know what was worse – not knowing if Joaco felt the same or not or knowing Joaco liked him like that but refused to commit.
“I’m sorry, but I have a lot of responsibilities now, and I would just…” Joaco steeleed through, not looking directly at the other man. “I would be a very shitty boyfriend and you deserve better than that.”
Eli wanted to cry. He hated how he knew Joaco wanted him and how Eli wanted Joaco and yet still got rejected. Never in his life did he feel so intensely for someone else like this. Before, things always just happened. Or he’d get a little crush. A small flame he could control. But the fire was raging and he didn’t know how to contain it. But he didn’t hold any hatred for Joaco.
He wanted to beg him to just let them be together. Form a good argument, that he was low maintenance. That they could just hang out and sometimes fool around and they wouldn’t have to put titles to it. They could just do whatever they felt like doing. They didn’t have call it anything. They didn’t have to worry about alliances and stuff like they did in the past. Just be who they were.
Then part of him just wanted to shake Joaco, shake the secrets out because the responsibilities he spoke of could not just be watching the restaurant and school and whatever he did for the Bravos. What did he know about everything that Eli didn’t know. He just wanted to know what happened in the past. What was happening now? And Joaco telling him not to worry didn’t make him worry less.
But he knew Joaco and Gaius were stubborn people. And once they made up their minds, he doubted any sort of reasoning would change it.
He blinked his eyes. Why did he have tears? No. No. No. NO. He didn’t want to cry. Not here. Not in front of anyone but especially Joaco. It is embarrassing.
“Okay,” he managed. “I… gotta go.”
He had no words.
Joaco wasn’t blind, he could see the tears, feel the slight shift in Eli’s movements. Of course, he felt guilty. Of course, he wanted to tell him they should be together, but this was the rational thing to do and–
And he couldn’t handle seeing this, so he looked away, gritting his teeth, and his brow furrowing together. This was for the best, Joaco reminded himself as he felt something cold sink into the pit of his stomach.
Breaking Eli’s heart now would be the lesser pain, Joaco reminded himself, but he made the mistake to look at Eli’s retreating form, and as he was about to reach for the door’s handle, Joaco stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, tight.
Tight because he didn’t want to let go this time. Tight like his bond to the other man in this and their previous life. “I’m sorry,” Joaco muttered quietly, close to Eli’s ear, his own eyes stinging so he closed them just as tightly as his heart was being wrung.
Eli didn’t expect to get hugged from behind. He gasped suddenly and at the smell of Joaco and his words, a couple of tears escaped and ran down his cheeks, “Damnit! Fucking damnit!” he cursed himself for letting this get to him so much.
“Why couldn’t you just say you hated me, I could be angry but now I am just sad!” Eli yelled. “Why can’t you tell me why it is for my own good? I’m not a child!” He felt like one though.
Joaco silently hugged him tighter and pressed a gentle kiss to Eli’s neck. He deserved the beating, and so, he took it.
And here he was blaming Joaco for it and immediately retreated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” His tears came more readily as he sunk into Joaco’s embrace. Love sucked. It sucked so bad. And he angrily wiped away. Anger was an easier emotion to take in than sadness. He could be angry at the tears.
Everyone warned him. Including Joaco. Why did Eli think he could fly close to the sun and everything would be different. He tumbled to the earth but at least Joaco came with him.
“You have to trust me,” he spoke softly, his nose pressing behind Eli’s ear and taking a deep breath, eyes still closed. “I… don’t know what else to say.” There were no words he could voice that would make Eli hurt less, and so, he simply squeezed him again.
“Would you want me as I am right now, no matter what?” After a moment of silence, he asked the question softly, quietly, gently stroking Eli’s stomach. “Even if I can’t answer your questions… even if duty comes in between us again...” His words were deliberate and careful, finally opening his moist eyes again. “Even if I might break your heart later?”
His heart was racing, and Joaco swallowed the thick knot in his throat, wetting his lips as he leaned back to gently try to turn the other man around to look at him in the eye.
Eli took a couple deep breaths as he slowly tried to gain control of his tears. When was the last time he cried? A funeral maybe? But something about Joaco’s touch calmed him a little even when Joaco was indirectly the cause.
He didn’t say anything because his mind still raced, trying to think of what to say. Trust him. Joaco wanted Eli to trust him.
Then would Eli accept him? Yes. That part was an undeniable yes. But before he could answer, addendums. Even if I can’t answer your questions. Can’t. Eli’s lawyer brain suddenly peered through the rain at that particular word. Then there was Even if duty comes between us again. That phrase needed digging. On the surface, the duty in the past that Eli knew was simple. They were princes with very specific duties. What duty could Joaco mean now?
As Joaco turned him around, Eli looked back at Joaco for a moment, then aware that tears clinged to his eyelashes, glanced downward, ashamed somewhat of crying over this.
He suddenly smirked and laughed softly, “If duty becomes between us again, are you talking about court?”
Joaco chuckled, and he shook his head at the very not serious question.
Eli knew it wasn’t about court though. In fact he had a feeling Joaco somehow was involved. But he can’t tell.
“I accept you as you are, Joaco,” he replied quietly, looking up shyly. “Your other… addendums. I hate them. I want to know everything. But –.” He reached out to rest his hands on Joaco’s waist. “If I walk out of here right now and never see you again, I doubt my feelings for you would abate. I just… I know I was emotionally unavailable and all that before. But now, I - I… want to protect you. Whatever is making you feel like you can’t have this connection, I want to fight against it. I know this is overdramatic. But I am a theater kid. We’re dramatic.” He grinned broadly, “But I mean it.”
He angrily rubbed at his eyes, drying them. Then he saw the tear too on Joaco and reached out to flick it away.
With a warm smile, Joaco reached up to cup Eli’s cheek, tracing over it with his thumb. “You’re cute,” he pointed out with a quiet laugh, rubbing his face with the back of his other hand before looking earnestly at the other man. “I told you before, I can take care of myself. Do you not believe me?”
“I know, you are big macho tough guy,” Eli teased. “But like. You want to take care of me too even though I am capable of taking care of myself as well.”
A part of him didn’t know how to address the things Eli was implying but not saying. He had feelings for him, of course he did, and of course he knew, but hearing it still made his heart swell. “I like your drama, anyway, so feel free to go all out,” he moved an arm to loosely wrap around Eli’s waist.
“But even after you know all of those conditions, do you–” Joaco took in a shivering breath, looking at Eli in the eye. “Do you still want to be more? We don’t have to, as I don’t need labels, but if you want it…”
The skeptic in Eli had to pause, pulling the reigns in on his heart for a moment. This felt like he was about to make a hard bargain. Like agreeing to be turned into a vampire. He felt more convinced that Joaco’s secrets had to do with what he couldn’t remember of the other world. And maybe Joaco was involved with the hidden figures but what Eli figured – hoped – was if that is the case, Joaco could not help it.
He was in. As Icchi said, life was too short.
“I… just want us to be able to enjoy each other how we want to be enjoyed. What was denied to us before. We can go at whatever pace we’re both comfortable. If the urge strikes you to call me your boyfriend, go for it. And same applies to me.” He paused, “Probably sooner. Just one question…”
Even though his eyes still felt sore from earlier, Eli had to make the joke, “If I ask you a question, will you fade away back into the underworld like Eurydice?”
“Maybe I’ll turn into salt,” Joaco joked back with a laugh and a shake of his head. “I can work with taking it easy, and just being us–Joaco and Eli.” It was what he truly wished for, but… “I know it’s not that simple because Gaius and Kyo… they, uh, felt intensely, so we still feel that, but I want us not to worry about all of that anymore.”
Even if the only moments where he could feel that way were around Eli, Joaco wanted that for them, that pure happiness and joy of each other’s company while completely disregarding another life’s baggage.
Eli agreed with Joaco that he didn’t want to worry about the complications of their past selves but Joaco saying he didn’t want either of them to worry about that anymore confused him briefly based on what he said earlier but no matter.
“Salt doesn’t work because you are not salty at all. Unless you want me to taste you,” Eli teased, feeling the tension he had felt earlier melt away. He leaned over to give Joaco a light kiss on the cheek. The other man simply winked at Eli.
“We can take it slow,” he repeated as he wrapped his arms around Joaco, slipping his hands through Joaco’s arms. “I’ll be low maintenance.”
"One of us has to be," Joaco chuckled with a cheeky grin, hooking his fingers on Eli's hoop belts, giving him a firm tug until their bodies were flush together. "But about taking it slow… you'll have to elaborate and be clearer." He pressed his forehead against Eli's, grinning more as he looked into his eyes. "Do you mean lots of foreplay or very calculated thrusts?" He wagged his eyebrows suggestively before he laughed, his voice loud, deep, and rumbling.
Eli grew suddenly a little flustered as Joaco pulled him closer and their bodies touched. His cheeks pinked considerably and now he really wanted to sound cool, “Well, it could be both. Although you know I’m good at plays.” Joaco chuckled, again.
Eli smiled but then paused, “You should probably know, the… er, thrusting part – I’m not super experienced with but.”
"Don't worry, i was just teasing," Joaco smiled fondly, cupping Eli's cheek and leaning in for a sweet and light kiss. "We don't have to do anything you don't want, nor do we have to rush, okay?"
Eli nodded as he rubbed his thumbs against Joaco’s waist, “I know. I trust you.” He accepted Joaco’s kiss, and returned for another. He thought of making a Scrooge joke but decided against it. Instead, he leaned in for a deeper kiss, now that the boundaries and communications have been made. The kiss was deep, but gentle, caressing Eli's cheek as he affectionately played with the other man's hair, curling it between his fingertips.
Joaco could break hearts but he could also mend them.