I'm a person whose life is worth nothing! (h_ngm_n) wrote in marinasylum,
[He thinks for another short while. Nothing that he hasn't tried comes across as something he'd be good at. Surfing? He'd probably fall off, break a harm, and become unable to properly facilitate his own hanging. Writer... Wait, been there, and failed miserably at what totally wasn't an anime convention that one of his students had lured him to. Aspire to a political career? No, the media would acquire incriminating pictures of him and run a smear campaign. But then, it all becomes obvious to him, there was something he could to.]
Well, sadly the only thing I can think of that I'm any good at is failing to kill myself. Branches breaking as I try to hang myself, trucks full pillows that drive by as I jump off bridge, Olympic swimming teams picking my up when I try to drown myself...
[He starts to mumble incoherently about his other failed suicide attempts which may-or-may-not be entirely fictional.]