I would like to begin by apologizing on behalf of Neil and myself. We know the rules in terms of sexual interaction, and have been careful about following them until now even as difficult as it is for us -- for reasons I have previously explained to you regarding human nature. Nevertheless, tonight we broke it, and for that we apologize.
However... as I'm sure you are aware, there was an odd phenomenon that occurred tonight at the costume ball. Neil and I were each behaving in a manner very unlike our usual selves. I do not believe that, without the interference from this phenomenon, we would have broken the rule.
I am requesting that we be granted an exception due to the extenuating circumstance this evening.