[ it doesn't make any sense in his head. of course it's occurred to him -- the moment Lelouch first suggested the Zero Requiem, it occurred to him. but it wasn't what Lelouch wanted. it wasn't what Lelouch would ever have wanted, as badly as Suzaku was sure he wanted to live and be with Nunnally.
[ as badly as they all wanted him to live and be with her. ]
This isn't what you told us before. [ so very, very numbly. he glances at Lelouch; at C.C.... if they decided to do something like that, the would tell her, right? (they would tell him?) ]