Kiryu "Joshua" Yoshiya || 桐生 義弥, (yeshua) wrote in marinasylum, @ 2010-06-16 22:34:00 |
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Current mood: | aggravated |
[ Action || Open ] - dated to late afternoon/early evening
[Joshua has saw fit to lean against one of the buildings in what probably is supposed to be something like an alley. He's only armed with a ball and he's throwing it at the ground. It bounces to hit the wall. The Composer catches it and tosses it again. This little game continues, his mind far from what he's actually doing.
Just what is he doing, anyway? He's never been cut off from everything for this amount of time. Even with the month-long Game, it hadn't been this bad. Then he could still feel Shibuya and how she, along with everyone in that district, shifted and moved. He knows everything of every minute in Shibuya. What thoughts cross peoples' minds. Their feelings. Everything. Joshua knows it better than he knows himself, really. To not have it now, for what seems like much longer than what it had been, feels wrong. Like he's missing something.
And doesn't know how to replace it.
All his questions had a point. Change. It's something Joshua doesn't particularly like. Not for himself, anyway. Change is good for people that can become better. People needed the constant clashing of ideals and viewpoints. Living people are not really complete, in the end. The problem is that Joshua had lived his life. Some of it, anyway. What good would it really do him now? Shibuya, as he had left it, isn't in danger of stagnating. That had been dealt with when Sanae had ensured that either Joshua opened up or all would have been lost. Joshua's little instrument of change isn't here. Well, not anymore. Yet there had been others. People pushing themselves in here and there.
That's something he isn't used to and he's not really sure how to handle it. When he had thought some of those things had been tucked away, they reared their head anyway. It's much too late to back out on some of that... Augh this is just been like a real awkward teenager again. A frown mars Joshua's features as he catches the ball again and squeezes it.
Why had he verbally acknowledge that something had changed in him, anyway? When had he become somewhat attached to some of these people to express some legitimate concern about their well-being? It hadn't really been that way before.
He already knows what he's doing now isn't going to solve anything. Running away, again? His own thoughts are taunting him now. Great.]
Only by allowing strangers in can we find new ways to be ourselves...
[What had he been thinking when he said that... When had he really started to feel like a one man island?]