[Private] 1/2
[Someone who doesn't deserve me or this relationship. Someone I've been afraid of yet admired for the longest time. Someone better than me, always better than me, no matter what I say or do or pretend--
--Someone who understands me.
I hated that. No one should've been able to understand me or read me. My plans, my motives, my strengths...my weaknesses. I pushed you away because you understood and because you made me vulnerable. But in the end, what I could never avoid, was the fact that I still needed you. Even if we both changed, I still needed you to be close to me. I could just never say it or...explain it. How did I need you? For what did I need you? Were you really only a convenience? Like the rest of them? Or were you--
...I don't know. Heh. I don't know.
Axel's voice comes out quietly and defeatedly, only because...he could never tell Saix the truth like that. He can never tell him that he's quite possibly the only person keeping him together. It's not like Saix liking--loving--someone else changes that, but--Axel shakes his head.]