[ gods should he be trying to imagine it? the thought of trying makes him nauseous, he can't imagine touching her like that in any way that isn't defiling. he doesn't even want to imagine it. he would be disgusting for wanting to. and it's hard to get around that thought to answer the question honestly. he has a headache.
tiny hollow laugh in response to that, though. he digs a finger deeper into the sand. ]
I -- don't know about that, Lelouch. I think... I'm wrong no matter what. [ it's wrong to want her, unthinkable not to. ]