I didn't mean it so seriously. [She says it softly. She's not trying to dismiss him or say he took it the wrong way. She was there at the noodle shop too. She was the one who scolded him for making light of killing and death. Or if not making light of it then making it into a scenario to puzzle out. That's what she just did, wasn't it? An idle thought on her mind given voice and now this.]
I don't.
[It's her turn to look down. She wants to give him an honest answer. She just wishes that honest answer were as simple as "no."]
But...
I was so sure Piotr wasn't that I bet my life on it...and lost.