I suppose... [she pauses, thoughtful. Not a common need for her, to think so carefully about an answer.] I was feeling helpless to do anything about the situation, and I'm unused to that. I wanted to feel as though I was doing something beneficial, even in a small way, but contemplating what I should do was very painful.
I told myself that I didn't want to worry others, and that's true; however, I also believe that I wanted to find a way to make a difference on my own.