[The 37th Day] Good morning, criminals! Today we will be experiencing our first light snowfall. You need not expect any accumulation.
However, today we will also be opening our new ramen stand! Enjoy the cool weather and the hot ramen, along with the biggest bowl of ramen -- in the world! This is not a significant feat, as no ramen has ever been made on this world outside of this facility, and all of that ramen has been the same size as a standard bowl, but a sufficiently impressive size has been engineered for the grand opening. In fact, it is large enough that every criminal could have a bowl for every meal today and some would still be going to waste. Which will be regrettable.
I should perhaps assure you all that the ramen store will be completely safe, and no interference with the event will be permitted.