It's very good. [Puck approves of the "draining life forces" detail, even though he doesn't know the personal significance it has for Sasha.] You want to add things that will make the story progress, just like you did now. Then you can also pause the action to create atmosphere...
"He stopped in his tracks. With a shudder he recalled that, indeed, no one tale could agree on whether the castle was abandoned or not. Even those that claimed it to be inhabitated all spoke of different creatures that dwelled within its walls, one more terrible than the other. 'Don't be silly', the boy thought to himself. 'If something lived in here you would have seen it by now.' Yet this time, he dared not speak the thought out loud, nor move from where he stood - he just listened. [(short) dramatic pause.] There was only silence."