[ action ]
[ she likes seeing that spark in his eyes and even though it doesn't quite make it to his lips, she knows what it means anyway. she can still read him, even after all this time.
her hand tightens on the bar for a moment before she finally lets it go. ]
It has to do with my magic. I did some really bad things last year, Oz. [ horrible things that she wishes she could take back. ] I used to only used it to help, you know, like re-ensouling Angel, helping Buffy with something. It was all good things. [ pause. admitting all of this is just so hard. but he should know. if anyone should, it's oz. ] But I started to use it for other things, too. Stupid things. It became an addiction, using it just to use it, a high I could just... [ she frowns as she tries to come up with the right words to explain it. ] ...ride when I felt like nothing else mattered. I almost killed Dawnie.
[ she hated that part, the part that had put someone so innocent in danger, someone she was supposed to protect at all costs. ]
When I realized what I'd done, the person I'd become, I stopped everything. I didn't use any magic for months.
[ but clearly she is now. she takes a few moments to let all of that sink in, see if oz has questions, before she continues. ]
(( ooc: lucky for us both then. i like it too :) ♥ ))