[To hear it aloud is more than Yuuki's ever thought to receive. His admission drops her stomach, and her heart twists, aching for him. Neither has a happy past. Of course there are happy moments, times to cherish and love and those will be important for the rest of their lives. But there is the sad and painful, too. It's the tragedy that connections them, a red thread of fate strung with sorrow but their only lifeline to cling to.
In the end, who do they have without the other? It's why the separation has been so heartbreaking, why she's never been able to forget him, despite the time. Lost in an ocean of loneliness and fear, before her disappearance he was the life vest that kept her afloat. All this time, has it been the same for him?
The tiny trail of tears down either side of her cheeks falls silently, salty liquid permeating the emotionally charged air. She shakes her head. All this time he's only wanted her happiness. She's known that, too, but never at the expense of himself should it happen. Never has she wanted people to sacrifice themselves or others for her sake. In the end, how can that possibly make her happy?]
You always give up so prematurely. I hate that about you.
[She's not aware of when she moved, but she has. Beside him, her fingers hover above his head, before she finally brushes a cheek, carefully sweeping his long, silvery bangs from his face.]
I was so terrified of losing you that I tried to make myself the sole thing you could depend on. But in reality it was because I depended so heavily on you. I was terrible to you, Zero. The most despicable kind of person, and you were willing to lie there and let me strangle you to death. How could I have let things become so mixed up?
[Swallowing, her fingers clench tight before she slowly forces them back out, hating herself for the poor treatment she provided him. Her cheeks burn, warm with the redoubled tears, eyes stinging.]
You told me that Kaname was supposed to be the person I depended on. And I loved him and was confused by him, but those words only confused me the most. Because it was then that I could see that it wasn't Kaname that I had been depending on all that time. I only admired from afar.
[She allows a short, tearful laugh.]
I don't know what I expected when I tried to see you again after awakening. I didn't know. I wanted to apologize, for how I was, for what I was. [Her voice rises in pitch as she swallows thickly] I couldn't remove the haunting memory of your face when you saw me, and realized it. I was - am - the thing you hate more than anything. [She's never been able to remove that expression from her thoughts. The sheer pain and devastation.]
I have to admit - I didn't expect for you to turn Bloody Rose on me.
[Fingers slipping to either side of his cheeks, she forces him to turn toward her, tilting his gaze back up until he has no where to look but in her tear stained eyes.]
After everything I had no choice but to leave. Where could I have went? What could I have done? I destroyed you, remembered my past, and found out that all that time I was engaged, and not even the species I thought I was.
[Walked away? Don't simplify it. A couple of tears fall to land and fall onto his own cheeks, her gaze heartbroken.]
But where in that idiotic head of yours did you ever come to believe that being enemies could possibly give way to my happiness?