[No no. It's not that she's never wanted to love Zero. Only, that, while engaged for an entire year, it makes that love a betrayal, no matter how much it can't be helped. She realizes that it isn't fair for her to harbor those same sorts of feelings for two people.
Mention of the manor, and her one careless slip forces her to pause again. Burrowing within her knees, once more, she shakes her head.]
Don't worry over that. It was my own fault, since I refused to eat properly.