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What do you mean, "Why?" Haven't you read the welcome message? You're in prison - at the bottom of the ocean, no less! My daughter's friend - a very reliable source, honestly - told me that there's probably been some kind of glitch in the system, so there are a lot of people here who are completely innocent! Myself, for example. It's a lifelong sentence for everyone, so we're basically left with three options:
Option A - We hope our beautiful young children get arrested for no reason, like us, so we can still be with them here. Option B - We take these charges lying down and resign never to see our kids ever again. Or, the most appealing: Option C - We figure out a way to get out of here!