[private]
[The truth?, he almost asks, but he realizes it would just be stalling. He always did hate stupid questions.]
Because you looked like her. It was still too soon and all I could think about was how much I missed her, all that she missed and wouldn't be able to do, like have you so I--no, so we could have a decent family for once. [The slightest beat as he swallows back the knot in his throat] 'Why?' I fucking cried that night because even though she was gone, I still got to have you, and for the first time since I could remember I felt something other than anger, and I was fucking happy.