[It's the whole thing, the all-consuming void of what happened to them. She'd guiltily been hoping it would only be a small portion, so that it'd be easier to deal with. Or, rather, that she'd have any idea at all how to deal with it.]
I - I don't think you have to go all the way back, though. You've done so much, and grown so much, and you don't have to lose all that because of one - [Pause.] - jerk. That's giving him too much power over you.