[action]
[ manages a very weak smile for her and -- again -- withdraws his hand. his skin is crawling with awareness of her, and it's a struggle not to wipe it off on Orihime's pants. ]
I'm... sorry. [ sorry for so many things. sorry that he didn't save her -- sorry that he was too weak to keep this pain from her. (she needs to know, she deserves to know.) (but what difference does it make, if she disappears again?) ]
[ what was her question. he should answer her question. closes his eyes for a beat, then: ]
2018 is -- different.
[ such a pathetic answer. but he doesn't want to give her just a litany of sadness -- he doesn't want to depress her, she should focus on the good things that have happened -- and at the same time, every "good thing", every second of happiness he's had since, however fleeting... feel like betrayals. she hasn't even died yet; how can he expect her to understand that any part of him can be already at peace with it? ]