I guess I've never really told anyone what I did that day who didn't already know about it. I didn't know about it when I first came here either. I was sure my crimes were mistakes, because I could never do those things.
[She feels her heart beating faster. Is she really doing this? Her voice drops to a softer level.]
But I did. [She closes her eyes, and she makes herself say the words. Not just to the faceless voice on the other side of the wall, but to herself—aloud.] I killed so many people. [A hot tear escapes from her lashes.] I couldn't stop. I wanted to, but I... There were so many people. [Her voice is only as whisper before it falls silent.]
[There is so much to process and she tries to do it alone. She doesn't want to wear heavily on Lelouch or Suzaku. She doesn't want them to feel guilty. She wants to smile for them—for all her friends. But the memories of these deaths which are now more real to her than the ever could have been when watched on a disc haunt her. And the threats and attacks she made against people she'd come to know and care for here as well as the impulses she still has around the Japanese are taking their toll.]