InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "2008 is going to be awesome!"

MarinaNova Mods (marinanova_mod) wrote in marinanova_ooc,
@ 2012-09-01 10:50:00

Entry tags:

mod: hmd, mod: plotting

Game-wide HMD/Plotting!
Welcome to the MarinaNova HMD! This is optional, but encouraged.

• List your characters for which you'd like feedback. We have a form below if you like forms!
[Feel free to add 4th Wall characters]

• Leave your tactful and considered thoughts, questions, concerns, praise, suggestions, etc. for others.

We strongly encourage you to make this a dialogue. Find out what went into actions, decisions, and characterization and you may come to understand it better. Hopefully you'll also be in the best position to clearly communicate your own concerns. Results will be more satisfactory for everyone if one person isn't on the offensive while the other is on the defensive.

Avoid leaving someone a wall of text. This can be intimidating even with the most careful of wording and best of intentions.

Don't gang up on someone. You may have a different way of wording something, but unless you have something new to contribute, consider letting it go if there are already others saying it.

Be constructive and considerate.

• Since there is no plotting meme during months with an HMD, please feel free to do that here too.

• Contact a mod if you have any problems.

Anonymous commenting is on. It will be turned off if there is abuse.

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sorry for the tl;dr! '''orz

goddessofwar
2012-09-04 11:51 am UTC (link)

First off, I would like to say is that I am happy to get back in the game with you again and I really like that we have so many threads together this past month X3 They were all fun to play in and I like the budding CR Lyle and Reki have. Cigarette buddies, yay! /o/

Now, what I have to offer today is a bit of follow-up feedback to a point I have raised some time ago, and I thought I'd bring it up again since I'm aware that improving your game is something you are striving for.

I notice that you still have that tendency to what I call "bullet-point tagging" (example: Revive's thread with Sasha) -- that you take each sentence from a tag given to you as separate points and reply accordingly, which does not sound natural in a dialogue. It makes your characters, no matter how distinct their voices, all sound mechanic. What I suggest you do is insert some action or introspection in brackets so that in reading, the dialogues doesn't come out as forced.

However, on my end, I've learned to adjust to your style in a way (as seen in Reki and Lyle's exchange), and I've observed that you seem more comfortable with IM/chat-type tagging. What I suggest above, I hope, can be a solution to help you be more flexible in terms of tagging styles.

Another point I would like to raise is for you to try and lead threads -- to have your characters be pro-active than reactive. It showed a lot with Milo where, sure, he's out and about, running but there's only so many questions that Soi can ask him. Sure, he has asked questions in return, but not without my crafting something he can react to (ie. her recollection of Ashitare being whipped by Nakago). Wouldn't he have a stronger reaction to that than just being accepting of Nakago as a "tough man" and being a "pack leader", seeing as to how wolf dynamics work differently? I know you have a lot to offer as a player, but don't let hesitance or shyness (or perhaps even the pressure of obtaining ~tag nirvana~) stop you from offering bolder ideas to others and shaking the sandbox a bit. Who knows where a thread might go if Lyle disagrees with Reki and such? It will help develop CR than just having characters stay in that "they get along well!" plateau.

On a related note, I like how you bring out Lyle's snark a bit more and I'd like to see more of that! I also hope that there are things that Michiru can get mad at, because I like how you pull off her don't-mess-with-me voice. Keep on going and keep it up!

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It's okay.

cbsniper_v2
2012-09-04 11:09 pm UTC (link)

Thank you for the help.

I know I have a problem with "bullet tagging". I've noticed that before and I'm trying to get out of it. I'm trying to work on more tagging styles. I've noticed I tend to mimic how the other person is writing though so sometimes adjusting to my style doesn't really help.

Okay, I'll try to lead more and offer a bit more.

Yay for Lyle snark and yeah, there are things that Michiru can get mad at. I'm glad you like her voice when she gets mad.

Thank you again!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stormblossom 2012-09-05 02:07 pm UTC (link)
	ALSO!! I really like how Soi and Milo clicked and if they were in-game, I can easily say that it would easily be one of my favorite CRs. <3 I don't know if you're familiar with Fushigi Yuugi canon though, but she's the only Seiryu warrior who has shown concern for their manbeast comrade, Ashitare; which doubled her interest in Milo. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cbsniper_v2 2012-09-05 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	I like it too. They are so cute. I'm mildly familiar with Fushigi Yuugi. I don't think I ever got to Soi and Ashitare though... or I don't remember them. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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