InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tweak does it better"

MarinaNova Mods (marinanova_mod) wrote in marinanova_ooc,
@ 2012-09-01 10:50:00

Entry tags:

mod: hmd, mod: plotting

Game-wide HMD/Plotting!
Welcome to the MarinaNova HMD! This is optional, but encouraged.

• List your characters for which you'd like feedback. We have a form below if you like forms!
[Feel free to add 4th Wall characters]

• Leave your tactful and considered thoughts, questions, concerns, praise, suggestions, etc. for others.

We strongly encourage you to make this a dialogue. Find out what went into actions, decisions, and characterization and you may come to understand it better. Hopefully you'll also be in the best position to clearly communicate your own concerns. Results will be more satisfactory for everyone if one person isn't on the offensive while the other is on the defensive.

Avoid leaving someone a wall of text. This can be intimidating even with the most careful of wording and best of intentions.

Don't gang up on someone. You may have a different way of wording something, but unless you have something new to contribute, consider letting it go if there are already others saying it.

Be constructive and considerate.

• Since there is no plotting meme during months with an HMD, please feel free to do that here too.

• Contact a mod if you have any problems.

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hepatitis_c
2012-09-01 04:42 pm UTC (link)

Player name: Nick

Character: Birdman | Galerians |

hepatitis_c | ☑
Link to private HMD if preferred: mine is this one, but i dont mind crit here
Comments: mostly im really concerned with making him a gross villain type without being one-dimensional cartoonishly evil if that makes sense? i hope im getting across the 'legitimately doesnt understand the human thought process' idea decently; if anyone has any pointers on how to convey that better though id love to hear them :Ua
im also really trying to avoid being too wordy and that's still a work in progress, sorry everyone in the meantime ;3;

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thisiscalm
2012-09-02 11:52 pm UTC (link)

Unfortunately I'm really canonblind to Galerians (for now!) but I have to say that I really enjoyed the one thread we had with Birdman and Aidan. I like how manipulative and two-faced he is, and if Aidan hadn't talked to Rion first he would've fallen for that act a lot more than he did.

I'm definitely not one to say anything about lengthy tags (oh gosh do I love my teal deers!) but I do have to agree that sometimes it got to be a little hard to follow. I'm really looking forward to future threads and plot though, and what you'll do with him in the future!

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hepatitis_c
2012-09-04 02:20 pm UTC (link)

wahh i'm glad! i know things can be pretty difficult with a character from a wait-what-the-fuck-is-that canon, so thanks for putting up with me haha <3 even if the source material is obscure, im happy that he's an interesting dude to bounce things off of regardless

;3; and my apologies on things being convoluted! i'll definitely try and make more of an effort to keep things concise

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bluemoondog
2012-09-03 11:04 pm UTC (link)

I also have no experience with the Galerians Canon, but from what I saw of Birdman I think what you're trying to convey is coming across right. He's definitely a Villain, but he's being so nice and kind to others, manipulating them with a false charm. It's great, I like that kind of villain could be so convincingly nice to your face that when, or if he does something terrible, some people might not believe those crying Wolf.

From what I've read I do really get the whole "doesn't understand human though processes" and I can definitely relate how that can sometimes be difficult to convey in actions or what have you. Helix gets humans probably a lot better than Birdman, but he still has some trouble with certain things. Because of how he was forced to live he doesn't think of the same things most humans do, so he comes off as cold or selfish in a lot of ways because of that.

ANYWAY uuh... I don't have any specific pointers but I'd be glad to help! I like Birdman for all his creepiness and violent tendencies. I think if Helix ever got to really know him he might remind him a lot of Jethro (his guardian)-- only a lot younger and not bald.

And I'm one for TL;DR so I'm not one to talk there orz

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	hepatitis_c 2012-09-04 02:27 pm UTC (link)
	im really glad, thank you! ;3; a big worry of mine with this is that all the manipulation shit comes across as hokey as opposed to creepy/gross, so im glad im at least doing that right lol. sob i havent written him against helix enough and i really need to; helix is super interesting from what i've seen of him floating around here (Reply to this) (Parent)

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