[Who knows what it is? Maybe it's because he saw early on that there were layers to Spike even without the soul, that he could change while Tyki never gave any indication of that to him. Or maybe it's as simple as the fact that one vampire bite and some threats doesn't compare to torture and death. It's hard to step away from all that, even if he wanted to.
He leans grateful against Spike's side, downing the glass almost immediately. Maybe it will help, or maybe it's just to have something to focus on, something to do.]
I hate being so shaken by this. I hate that he does this to me.