InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "they're coming to take me away"

justanitgirl (justanitgirl) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-05-08 23:11:00

Entry tags:

felicity smoak, ray palmer

Day 427 | After therapy | Closed to Ray

Felicity wasn't expecting company. She'd forgone the whole 'therapy' thing and opted instead to stay home with the new kitten and work on her new pet project. Besides, it gave her an excuse to not change out of her pajamas. Currently she was grounding herself while putting pieces into the casing more or less to make sure that everything was going to properly fit when she was done.

Beside her sat Oliver, playing with a feather toy that she'd gotten for him that was taped to the chair. A box of room temperature pizza was sitting on the counter with a bottle of wine. Some of the contents filling the black mug that Felicity had clearly been drinking from.

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	Guess pocket_sized 2017-05-09 03:39 am UTC (link)
	All of the talking, even if he mostly tried his best to listen more than speak. Not that he didn't, but his primary purpose in going was to get a new perspective or gain wisdom from the experience of others. As he stood and hesitated infront of Felicity's door, all of that fell away as he thought about what he really wanted. He knocked on the door. (Reply to this) (Thread)

justanitgirl
2017-05-09 04:25 am UTC (link)

The knock actually startled her. At this point it could have been a number of people. It could be the cat-kid who gave her Oliver, it could be Jack, or, of course, it could be Ray. She doubted the cat-kid would knock (hell, he didn't even knock when he'd left a box with a live animal on her doorstep) and she was pretty sure Jack didn't know where she lived; she was pretty sure it was Ray. Which, incidentally, meant he actually did know how to knock.

Oliver looked up from his playing, but the bouncing feather was more interesting then weird knocking. Felicity on the other hand clearly had to address the weird knocking, so she stood and made her way over to the door; still in her pajamas.

"Hey. I thought you went to that therapy thing." Not that she was judging or anything.

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pocket_sized
2017-05-09 10:54 am UTC (link)

Living in small quarters means you have to knock, and while Ray on the regular forgot to do so, he still tried to remeber to do so. Forgetting to do so has resulted in overhearing a few things he wished he didn't.

He offers a gentle smile and nods. Well, yeah, he did do that, but also:

"It was interesting. Got a few things off my chest, actually more than intended as I can't actually seem to stop talking today. Actually thats sort of why I'm here." He pauses, glances to the side.

"This is going to sound a little awkward but you sorta already know about me having feelings for you and if I'm completely honest they haven't just disappeared over time. So, what I'm saying is...well." he stares into her eyes a moment, he's somehow closed the distance between them. He leans in to kiss her.

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justanitgirl
2017-05-10 03:01 am UTC (link)

On one hand she's only known Ray in this way for four days, on the other hand Ray is amazing. He's kinda perfect and they're probably never getting out of here. Also, he's a really good kisser. While it takes a few milliseconds for her to react, she does kiss him back.

There are so many reasons to accept his feelings and so few not to; it's barely even a question anymore.

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	pocket_sized 2017-05-10 03:18 am UTC (link)
	He does try. The kisses are reciprocated as he reaches down for her hand. More of a gesture of accepting her, and hopefully, even if they are stuck here forever, they have have something together. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justanitgirl 2017-05-15 02:15 am UTC (link)
	Ok, yeah. This is, this is a thing. A good thing. She's liking this thing. When she felt his fingertips brush against her own she spreads her fingers so his can easily slip between them before curling hers around his hand. Yeah, yeah, she's okay with this. Kind of really okay with this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pocket_sized 2017-05-15 03:51 am UTC (link)
	It was easy to forget that she wasn't from the same time he was, though their dynamic was decidedly different. That little blind spot of his, seeing her not as an employee but just as the person she was. Smart, amazing, full of heart. His other hand moves around her hip and he pulls her a little closer, returning the kiss. Yeah he can stand to do this for a while. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	pocket_sized 2017-05-15 04:29 am UTC (link)
	That was nice. This was also nice. Eating pizza and icecream, and doritos, on the couch. Wearing only pants with Oliver curled up on his lap, purring tiny kitten purrs, he pets the kitten and munches on the snacks, content and happy. (Reply to this) (Thread)

justanitgirl
2017-05-15 04:36 am UTC (link)

That was a thing. That was totally a thing that happened; not that she was complaining or anything. After all, Ray was ... yeah, no complaints there or anything. She grabs the bottle of wine, her still wine filled mug and an extra and sets them on the table before sitting down next to Ray on the couch. Reaching over she scritches Oliver on the head.

"So, therapy went well then?"

At least that's what she assumes brought this whole go for it jump her in the doorway attitude of him. Not that she's against it mind you. She would have stopped him if she were. She's just, you know, noticing a bit of a change there.

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pocket_sized
2017-05-15 04:45 am UTC (link)

"I had the chance to talk about a few things. I wouldn't mind talking about it to you either but I needed to talk to someone else first, I think." He admitted, reaching for the mug to pour himself a cup. He needs this too.

"That and I think there might be something going on. Wasn't able to exactly filter my words-- or feelings." He sips his wine and continues to pet the cat.

"I've basically felt compelled to, over share. Which is why I needed to go there. Also talk to you, but it's not like anything is untrue."

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justanitgirl
2017-05-15 04:49 am UTC (link)

It was good that he found a place to really talk things out with people. It's important that you be able to do that. She takes a drink out of her own mug of wine before everything fully sunk in.

"Compelled, as in drugged?" Seriously? "They drugged you?" There's a part of her that feels really, really, really bad about this now. If he was drugged when he came to her door does that mean she just took advantage of him? What does that even mean for their friendship now?

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pocket_sized
2017-05-15 04:57 am UTC (link)

Yeah but it was a lot to unpack, and it's actually probably a good thing he has all this extra time to deal with it, but a shame that whatever psychological progress he makes here, it'll all be for nothing if they escape.

"I don't actually know. I just woke up that way." Because that answers basically nothing. So maybe he was drugged?

"I'm not inebriated, I just have no filter, except it's wearing off, I think."

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	justanitgirl 2017-05-15 05:20 am UTC (link)
	"That sounds a lot like you were drugged." Which still makes her feel awful about all this. She pulls her legs up and rests her mug on them. "So then ..." Yeah, not sure what to do here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pocket_sized 2017-05-15 05:28 am UTC (link)
	"With a truth serum, or truth code, or struggling not to say anything." That was his day, how was yours? "So? Uh. I guess yeah this might be... Awkward." Okay, yeah, too much truth bomb. "I really was kinda hoping to not have it be that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justanitgirl 2017-05-15 05:34 am UTC (link)
	Well, she just found out that her former boss came to her door and kissed her, then initiated something she was pretty okay with till she found out he was drugged. Wanna trade places? She's not sure which is worse actually. "That you were drugged or that ..." She let's it drift to the inevitable conclusion of 'or that we had sex'. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pocket_sized 2017-05-15 05:39 am UTC (link)
	"That it would be awkward. I don't think the being drugged part is actually affecting my judgement. I know how I feel. I'm not going to stop feeling affection for you tomorrow." Even if it's more than affection. Lots more, but leaving it affection for now. Last time he sad 'love', he got jello. He doesn't want to end with jello again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justanitgirl 2017-05-15 05:44 am UTC (link)
	"So you wanted to do that before today?" Well, she sort of had that idea, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe more of a lost love/friend that he longed for. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pocket_sized
2017-05-15 05:54 am UTC (link)

"We had a relationship, once." Which was sort of the basis behind his feelings. He has all the feels, Felicity. Longing for would be the words, probably, but then he did go to 'abandonment issues'.

"I guess the concept isn't really that new to me." Pursuing a relationship with her, doing this, and working with each other. Having someone like that, a partner in everything, was something he still very much wanted.

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	justanitgirl 2017-05-16 04:43 am UTC (link)
	"The concept isn't new?" She frowns into her cup. What does that even mean? It's not even an answer to her question. "That's a no then?" She drinks more from her cup, hiding more or less behind it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pocket_sized
2017-05-16 04:52 am UTC (link)

"The nature of our relationship before was, we were dating. So yes, I've thought about kissing you, and doing exactly this, probably more frequently-- Oh. Jeez." He sighs and stops himself. That truth serum, or that effect, or what have you.

"In otherwords yes, I have wanted. Kinda wanna go another round." Why. His expression fills with sudden shock that he said that.

"You're lucky, at least when you make casual innuendos they're... innuendos and not what I'm doing."

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justanitgirl
2017-05-16 05:00 am UTC (link)

"Clearly you never told Oliver that it was good having him in you when you'd just met a few weeks before." Yeah, she wasn't entierly proud of that one; but this was cute. It was nice actually hearing what someone was thinking rather then trying to guess or tiptoe around it or knowing and not being able to do anything about it because of their own stubbornness.

"What I meant was did you think about it with the me now ... the one that doesn't have that history with you." It was a weird distinction, she knows, but there's a part of her that needs to know that. She's not completely the Felicity that he dated or knows now. She won't experience the things that made her the way she was. Essentially she's a different person with the same bits up until she was digitized.

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pocket_sized
2017-05-16 05:24 am UTC (link)

"That is true." Also he can't help but smile at that because that was very cute. He was stubborn though, which was why he kept trying to hold it in, though the attempts were utterly pointless since he said them anyway. He looks at her as she asks him that and tilts his head slightly, his eyelids lowering.

"I didn't really have feelings for you at the start, I found you charming, even with the revenge hack of my tech, but mostly I just respected your talents which is why I made so many grand gestures in an effort to hire you. You sorta want to retain someone who makes you look like an idiot in their specific area of expertise." Does flattery work? He hopes it works. Because that's super sly, stealthy flattery right there.

"And I'm aware that you're not the same, you're right. But you are Felicity Smoak, and I fell in lo-" He grunts, and just says it.

"I fell in love with you, not just the person I knew for a few months at the time." Oh man, see that almost stings a little, because that's a huge knowledge bomb and he didn't want to drop it. He actually turns away out of frustration, the cat moving out of his lap and onto Felicity, chirping as he shook his little body.

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justanitgirl
2017-05-16 05:33 am UTC (link)

She smirks when he talks about the things she did to him before she finally agreed to work with him. Really, he had it coming and he'd totally been acting like a stalker. Totally. Also, that flattery is SO not super sly. She can see it coming from a mile away. It's still nice to hear though.

Then he tells her he loves her. God, where's jello when you need it? She's known him for a few weeks and quite frankly, she's still trying to get over Oliver; which is arguably impossible and yet not as impossible as it might be if she were back in their world around him all the time. Now Ray is telling her that he's in love with her.

She decides to pour more wine into his cup while she tries to think of a reply to this. Seriously, she'd panic and leave except they're in her apartment and on her couch. "Arguably we've only known each other for a few months, maybe even days. But, it's good to know that this wasn't all because of drugs or something."

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pocket_sized
2017-05-16 05:40 am UTC (link)

So grateful for the wine right now. He needs it. When she tops it off he takes a long sip. Obviously in the need for something to calm his nerves, to relax. Hopefully this effect will go away tomorrow and he
won't have to fight the truth down.

"Repressed emotions and me being a permanent member of the lonely hearts club." He quips. He supposes that that's where the self deprecating humor has been coming from lately, just coping with his feelings measured against a Felicity who didn't actually know him that well. He had to break the ice.

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justanitgirl
2017-05-16 05:48 am UTC (link)

"Funny, that's almost always been part of the arguments I have with my mom." She takes a drink before she realizes how that sounds. "Ah, me being single, not you. And I'm not saying I'm not interested. I am, trust me, I really, really am." Can she emphasize that enough? Seriously though, she wouldn't have reciprocated if she wasn't interested. To that end Oliver isn't here and he's made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want a relationship. So why would it be such a bad thing to move on and be with Ray? Honestly, it wouldn't.

"I mean I'm not going to say I love you, but I'm willing to, you know, work on getting there." Dating Ray, she's talking about dating. She's pretty sure this is coming out weird.

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