InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "MORE THAN THE FAIRY"

herdsspacecubs (herdsspacecubs) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-04-24 17:57:00

Entry tags:

nico di angelo, shiro

Day 425 - Video Locked to Nico
[It took Shiro a day or so to get himself together enough that he could think about speaking to someone intentionally. Sure he'd talk to Keith and Shadow when he happened to land outside their apartment, but really no one else.

There was someone that he needed to contact first before anything else though. So he decided to reach out to the teen who had stopped him from attacking Keith during the nightmare]

Nico, I wanted to thank you for intervening a few days ago. I also owe you an explanation.

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	nico_di_angelo 2017-04-24 11:30 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. You're welcome? [He looks a little confused. He hadn't really done anything, except stand between them with a sword.] You don't owe me anything. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-04-25 02:35 am UTC (link)
	If you hadn't, Keith would have gotten hurt worse. [He's still struggling with his own thoughts for injuring Keith. He didn't even want to consider if he'd made another attack. It might have been something that couldn't be fixed] No, I feel like you should know. But I'd prefer in person. I don't know how secure these lines are and I don't want everyone knowing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-04-25 03:17 am UTC (link)
	If it's that important to you... [He's seen, and heard, enough unintentional public broadcasts to know that being overheard is a valid concern, particularly with newer arrivals.] There's a park in Sector 3. We can meet by the koi pond? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-04-25 11:04 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, we can meet there. I'll head over and meet you there. [And that's exactly what Shiro will do, head over to the koi pond and wait for Nico] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-04-25 03:17 pm UTC (link)
	[Nico doesn't hurry. He figures Shiro will have to walk, so he lingers where he is, then slips into a shadow and emerges moments later from the shade of a tree nearby.] Hey. [It's quiet here, but he doesn't come often. Percy used to come here to talk to the fish. He looks at them rather than Shiro.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-04-26 02:20 am UTC (link)
	[Shiro had been waiting, looking at the fish in the pond when Nico emerged from the group of trees nearby. Wow, he got here fast] Hey. [Okay, so where to start?] I know what you saw and I can't deny it, what I did. But Keith is my teammate. I wouldn't have done that. What you did see isn't me now. It's how I was. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-04-26 04:17 am UTC (link)
	How you were? [Look, he gets that that day was pretty weird. And for some people. pretty traumatic. It was a bad day.] I don't know what I saw back there. What possessed you to attack your own teammate? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

herdsspacecubs
2017-04-26 11:09 am UTC (link)

Less than a year ago, I was a prisoner of the Galra Empire. For amusement they forced some of their prisoners fight in the arena. That was one of the things they did to me.

The nightmare I had was back on one of the Galra ships. I couldn't tell it was a nightmare because that had been my life. I just fell back into it. And I didn't see Keith as himself, but as a Galra.

[He crossed his arms, uncomfortable with talking about it. Each time he does, he feels weak for letting it happen]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nico_di_angelo
2017-04-26 07:04 pm UTC (link)

[Nico listened carefully. It sounded like Shiro had been forced into something pretty terrible. That sort of thing could leave scars - physical and mental.]

Is there a chance you could lash out again, outside of dome-inflicted nightmares? Like, flashbacks or...

[He's not good at this sort of thing, but he understands survival and trauma and needing to keep people safe.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-04-27 01:06 am UTC (link)
	[Shiro had been wondering that same question since the nightmare. Could he lose it again in another situation?] I suppose it is possible. This was the first time I lost it enough to attack someone like that. Usually I just freeze up when it kicks up, but there has to be something to trigger it... as far as I know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-04-27 04:16 pm UTC (link)
	[He nodded, like he understood. In a way, he did. It happened to him sometimes. But he didn't know Shiro well enough to compare experiences, or to even put a name to it.] What kind of triggers? Can they be avoided? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-04-28 12:59 am UTC (link)
	It's something that reminds of what happened. I should be able to avoid them. Drones that look too human, being on a Galra ship and hearing the sounds has done it. This place isn't like that though... usually. [He'd stayed out of the hospital (or mostly) for a reason] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-04-28 03:56 am UTC (link)
	Not usually. But the wardens like to fuck with us on fairly regular basis. It could happen again, or something like it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-04-29 01:04 am UTC (link)
	It could, but this is the first time I've had it this bad. Normally it's nowhere near this bad. This is probably the most unlike where I was that I've been in a long time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nico_di_angelo
2017-05-01 04:47 pm UTC (link)

Aside from the architecture, this place is nothing like my world. [And even more dissimilar to the underworld, and Tartarus, and either of the camps. And hold on to your hat, but he's going to tell Shiro something he hardly ever admits to even himself.] But there are still things that will set me off. And like I said, the wardens suck. They can pull out your worst fears and use them against you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-05-01 06:35 pm UTC (link)
	[So he did understand what he was talking about, the reaction where something just became too much. Don't worry; this is not something he's going to share as much as he doesn't want his own issue shared. Shiro sighed] Of course they will. They've already proven that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-05-01 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. But, there's a lot of good people here. They'll understand, and they'll help you if you need it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

herdsspacecubs
2017-05-01 11:00 pm UTC (link)

[It took a long moment, but that did bring a faint smile to Shiro's face. From one person dealing with a similar issue to another, that was encouraging for him. He hid it on the ship for the most part so he still didn't know how to deal with these episodes properly]

That's good to hear. Hopefully, I won't need that help too often, but it's good to know.

Thank you for listening.

[He could have refused to hear Shiro's side about what had happened with Keith]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-05-02 01:48 am UTC (link)
	Hopefully not. [He could have refused, sure. But what good would that have done? If people hadn't stopped to give him a chance or support him, he would be in a very different place right now.] Did you need anything else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-05-02 01:58 am UTC (link)
	No that's was all. [He didn't really have anything else so unless Nico had something else to say, that's it] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nico_di_angelo 2017-05-02 02:32 am UTC (link)
	Okay. Good. [He stands up, but hesitates a moment.] Um, I've been here a while, so if you need something explained or just, need help, I'm usually around. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	herdsspacecubs 2017-05-02 02:49 am UTC (link)
	Thanks. I'll reach out to you if I have any question that can't be answered. (Reply to this) (Parent)