InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Come on, you're the psychic."

Spike (chipswiththat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-04-04 15:31:00

Entry tags:

ianto jones, jezebel mephistopheles, spike

422 - action
[ CLOSED TO IANTO ]

[ He went to bed with Jack the night before. It was an attempt, he assumes, to bring this whole thing together. The three of them as the three of them rather than separate parts held together by necessity. Everything was fine, nothing to report and he slept like the dead through the night and well into the morning, schedule still not completely shifted from back in the day when the sun was actually something to avoid.

It makes waking up all that worse. He can see just fine in the dark of course but the harsh light of day adds a certain something. Colours are more vivid, shifting from browning rust to deep cherry reds, soaking into the sheets and clinging to his skin and face and mouth-

He scrambles out of bed, finding himself alone in more than just a physical sense, shock settling in like a fist to the gut. ]

[ OPEN ]

[ Jack is special in more ways than one and that's why he doesn't settle, doesn't wait for the announcement to confirm it the next morning. He's cleaned up now, scrubbed raw but some things you can't wash away and he keeps his hands tucked deep into the pockets of his coat as he stalks the streets, head bowed and jaw set. The taste doesn't leave his mouth, brown flakes and red specks and smears remaining in the lines of his hands and under his nails no matter how much he cleans. Nothing dramatic and that's perhaps worse because it feels so real. He's a killer. He'll always be a killer. Some things you can't wash away. ]

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readystopwatch
2017-04-04 11:58 am UTC (link)

[Ianto hears the water running as he walks in, and it only takes a single glance to see what a mess Spike is. He's tried to respect that request to give him space up until now but it's not happening any more. His clothes are ruined anyway, so there's no point in keeping them on. He does set the cross by the sink though, within sight and easy reach.

He flinched at the heat of the water as he steps into the shower, moving slow in case Spike feels like bolting away again. He hopes not, because it's killing him watching all this without touching him. He reaches out, taking hold of the soap before he scratches his skin off.] Here. Let me do that.

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chipswiththat
2017-04-04 12:06 pm UTC (link)

[ Of course he heard Ianto come in even over the rush of the water, followed by the rustle of fabric and the plink of metal against the sink, so it's not a great surprise that he's joining him in the shower. He does flinch but only a little, letting him grab the soap and have at it. It's not like he can see if he's missed any spots after all and in a way it's comforting, a welcome reminder of that night when he fought raptors. ]

There should be a body. [ Right? ]

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readystopwatch
2017-04-04 12:11 pm UTC (link)

[It's so much better just to be touching him. He keeps his touch gentle, as much about helping him calm down as it is about cleaning him off. Spike isn't the only one reminded of that night with the raptors, and he remembers how much something as simple as this helped. There's nothing sexual in his touch, not in this situation, but it is intimate, comforting.]

Not necessarily. Jack might have woken up already. [But the only reason he would leave is if what caused all these was really bad. Or maybe Spike didn't kill him there, or there was more than one victim or any number of horrible options. He decides to stick with the already awake theory for now.]

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chipswiththat
2017-04-04 06:16 pm UTC (link)

[ Spike isn't questioning the leaving as much as he perhaps should. Who wouldn't leave in that situation? The greater question is why Jack wouldn't then seek out Ianto, make sure he was safe, do something about this. There are so many holes and he can't shake the vision of bloodied sheets enough to fill them in. Instead he swallows, hard, turns his attention to another problem. ]

Why don't I remember anything..?

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readystopwatch
2017-04-04 06:40 pm UTC (link)

[The question of where Jack is if he's alive isn't one Ianto can answer. He knows sometimes he gets restless after he dies. He's found him on more rooftops than he can count after he's come back. He might not necessarily try to find him. The problem of Spike's memory is much more pressing and he grabs a washcloth to begin gently wiping the blood off his face as he replies.]

What's the last thing you remember?

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	chipswiththat 2017-04-05 03:04 am UTC (link)
	Going to bed. [ With all that entails. He doesn't need to elaborate, right? ] It was normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. [ Which would normally make him dismiss this as possibly being the wardens fucking with them, but he's shaken to the core and so clear thought like that is hard to come by. ] Ianto... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2017-04-05 06:56 am UTC (link)

[The way he says his name cuts right through him and he gives up of getting him clean for the moment so he can wrap his arms around him and just hold him. Maybe he should be worried about the danger of it but he many what he said earlier. He's not afraid of him, and maybe that's not the smartest way to feel right now but he can't help it. There's no way he could be when he's so clearly shaken like this.]

It's going to be alright. I don't know how, but it is. I know you, you didn't just do this. Something happened to cause it.

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chipswiththat
2017-04-05 08:05 am UTC (link)

[ Again he should probably push away, keep some distance but he can't remember the last time he had the rug pulled so thoroughly out from under his feet and so he allows it, leans in and makes an effort to tilt his head way from Ianto's neck. This is risky as it is. ]

I... [ He starts, frowns. ] This isn't the only time it's happened. I don't- I have a fuzzy memory of something like this happening in the future. Something is causing it but it... it might not be the wardens.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-05 08:54 am UTC (link)

[Of course he notices the way Spike avoided his throat, since that's usually the first area to catch his attention in situations like this. He doesn't make a point of it though, not when he's obviously doing it to keep himself feeling safe. In any case he's too relieved Spike is letting him hold him like this without a fight to complain. Right now he doesn't know what else he can do.

That confession is worse than anything else he's heard so far and his arms tighten inadvertently around him. Up until now he's been hoping this is something to do with this place, a particularly cruel day long trick by the wardens. But now there's a very real possibility ya not, that this is just something in Spike, something that was inevitable.]

Let's not jump to conclusions yet. Not until we knowfor certain what happened.

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chipswiththat
2017-04-05 09:28 am UTC (link)

[ It's something he's been dreading, perhaps expecting to some degree. Soul or no soul, he's still a monster no matter what people say and there's no cure to that. He has more control, a conscience to keep him in check, but the urges are still there. If he loses control, is this what happens? How easily could this be exploited? ]

You're right. [ Though he doesn't sound too convinced, but a plan is better than feeling sorry for himself. ] So what do we do?

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readystopwatch
2017-04-05 09:44 am UTC (link)

[Ianto is thinking along the same lines even if he hates himself for it. He's not afraid for his own safety; Spike has proven more than once how good he is at controlling himself around him and he has to think that counts for something. Jack's death doesn't really help his theory but he knows how overwhelming Spike finds him, and no matter how much they care about each other they aren't as close as he and Spike are. He has to believe that those feelings count for something in the face of all this because otherwise what's the point of any of it? But unfortunately he finds it all too easy to believe that if something is making him lose control no one else here is safe. He's not scared of him but he is scared for him and what this will do to him.

There doesn't seem to be much point in saying any of that though, not when he's sure Spike is thinking the same thing.] Do you feel up to looking for Jack? He might be able to help us get some answers.

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chipswiththat
2017-04-05 10:20 am UTC (link)

[ If this turns out to be a real problem then there really is no point to it. The best he can hope for is that it really is a glitch, that something else is happening here and they're overreacting but he's not exactly betting any money on it. In fact, he's mentally preparing for stakes and, if that doesn't stick, black bands. He can't risk it. ]

Yeah... yeah, I need to keep myself busy. If we find him, maybe we can sort this out. [ He has to be somewhere, right? ] We should split up, cover more ground.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-05 10:35 am UTC (link)

[One step at a time. Right now it feels like they have to find Jack before they can go any farther. He has to believe they can find some solution to this, that Jack will have answers or help them understand why spike can't remember, like his appearance will somehow magically make things alright. And as much as he hates the idea of splitting up tonight be for the best. Spike has his advanced senses to help him search and Ianto knows Jack and where he might go better than anyone. They will cover more ground even if he doesn't want to leave him alone. So he nods, but very reluctantly.]

We can meet up at the end of the day if we haven't found him. Will you come back to our place? Or somewhere else, if that feels like too much? [He doesn't want Spike spending the night alone and he certainly doesn't want it to be here.]

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chipswiththat
2017-04-05 12:42 pm UTC (link)

[ It's tactical and he could use some time to himself. He loves Ianto, loves that he cares this much but he could use some space to get his head back on straight and focus on the task at hand. That's hard when you have someone next to you, worrying about your well being when that's the last thing they should be thinking about. ]

I haven't thought that far ahead yet. [ No place seems like a good choice. Maybe he'll sleep at work or just carry on searching until morning. ] We'll think of something when we get there.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-05 01:35 pm UTC (link)

Blood Shack, then. [That's a meeting point that requires less planning. And planning is pretty damn hard right now. He knows Spike wants space; it's the same thing he tried to do in the pleasure prison with no soul. And while part of him argues that they're a team and no one should have to be alone with this the other half knows it's a lot more complicated. If he needs time on his own he can get that, but there's no way Ianto is letting it go on one second longer than it has to.

He leans in to kiss him, light and brief enough that Spike can pull away if he wants to. It's hard to find the words for what he wants to say just now, but sentimental has always seemed to be a good route with him.] I'm afraid for you, but I'm not afraid of you. I know you'll say I should be, but I want you to understand that.

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	chipswiththat 2017-04-06 03:15 am UTC (link)
	[ He doesn't shy away from the kiss, but also doesn't really reciprocate. When this is over he may make up for what they're missing out on right now, but his mouth tastes like blood and he can't. He can't. He snorts at the reassurance — Ianto knows him too well — and leans in to press their foreheads together. ] Thank you. [ I love you. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2017-04-06 07:48 am UTC (link)

It's going to be alright. [I love you back.

It's harder to believe that reassurance though after they split up to look and he spends a day uselessly searching. He tries calling Jack, tries looking everywhere he can think of - rooftops, beach huts, library, DF headquarters - all with no success. He's too focused on his own search to notice anything unusual happening with anyone else today and at he's finally forced to conclude that Jack isn't back yet, or at the very least is in no condition to answer his communicator. Spike must have moved his body or done something with it. It wouldn't be the first time Jack's been buried alive and the thought makes him feel sick.

As much as he tries it's impossible not to look worried and uneasy and just generally defeated as he enters the bar, hoping Spike will actually be there. He cant even imagine how he's feeling after having a whole day to let this all sink in.]

Any success? [He knows the answer is no. He would have called him if he'd found Jack.]

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chipswiththat
2017-04-07 03:44 am UTC (link)

[ At this point it feels like he's combed through the prison twice, even asked for help tracking down Jack's soul just in case that would give him some clue, but at the end of the day he came up empty. For once he isn't drinking, though he'd very much like to. He is smoking though, has been smoking relentlessly since he entered the bar, sitting on the customer side of the counter for once. ]

No. [ He shakes his head. ] If he's still around, I can't track him.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-07 07:49 am UTC (link)

I can't keep searching anymore tonight. [He's done this enough times to know there's a point where stress and a lack of useful information becomes counterproductive and starts actively getting in the way of success and he's starting to reach it. The last thing he wants to do is step back but he'll just drive himself crazy trying to come up with clues when there are none is he keeps going like this now. He can't even begin to imagine what state Spike is in if he feels this badly but the restlessness and unease radiating off of him is a good clue.] We can pick up again tomorrow.

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	chipswiththat 2017-04-09 06:45 am UTC (link)
	[ He nods, not really agreeing, already planning to head out again later tonight. Dark vision and enhanced senses means he doesn't have to rely on daylight and maybe it would be easier when there's less people in the streets. Not that he's about to let Ianto in on that plan. ] So what are we doing for the rest of the night? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2017-04-09 08:03 am UTC (link)

[Ianto won't stop him from doing what he needs to but he doubts he's wrong in thinking they both need a break just now. Not only that but Spike has always been the one to get him to talk, to open up when it's the last thing he wants to do and it's always helped. In fact those memories make him realize exactly what he'd like to do for the rest of the evening. It's been a long time since they curled up in a blanket fort in an abandoned apartment.]

Let's go find somewhere to get off our feet for a few hours and then we can start looking again. Sometimes that helps in these sorts of things.

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chipswiththat
2017-04-10 06:12 am UTC (link)

[ He's right about that. He's right about a lot of things but most of all he's right about how worn down Spike is at this point, not from physical exertion but absolutely from emotional stress. Regardless of how this plays out he's going to be a wreck come morning. ]

Alright... not like I have a better plan. [ He fakes a sigh, shoulders slumped, cigarette ground out. ] Let's go, then.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-10 07:46 am UTC (link)

[Frankly Ianto would be even more worried than he already is if Spike wasn't a mess about this. At least that's an indication that whatever happened he still has his soul, however much it might be hurting him now. And as worried as he is he does his best to reign it in. He remembers how much having Spike stay calm and in control after that fear monster helped. He can manage the same thing tonight, surely.]

Come on, I know where we can go. [Luckily they aren't far from home, and he'll hold Spike's hand the entire way if he's allowed to. He doesn't make for either of their flats once they get there, though. Instead he just pushes open the door of the first uninhabited apartment he can find and vanishes into its bedroom only to emerge a moment later with an armful of blankets and comforters which he piles on the couch.] Will this do?

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chipswiththat
2017-04-11 03:38 am UTC (link)

[ Oh, he's not going to argue with hand holding tonight. He's not going to argue with a lot of things now that he wasn't able to offset the shock with actually doing something about the situation. It's kind of sweet that Ianto is trying to recreate the night with the raptors throughout the day and he'll make sure to show how much he appreciates it when this whole ordeal is over. ]

It's perfect. [ He steps in closer, one hand coming up to Ianto's waist with some hesitation. ] I talked to some people.

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readystopwatch
2017-04-11 06:17 am UTC (link)

[The fact that Spike isn't trying to keep his distance the way he was this morning is a huge relief. He understands it but it made all of this so much harder and even if he should be worried about his own safety there no way he can continue to keep him at arms length. That hand on his waist is all the permission he needs to pull him down onto the couch against his side.]

And? What did they say?

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