Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "BLINK 182 - NEIGHBORHOODS"

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Dr. Spencer Reid ([info]thisiscalm) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2017-02-03 11:49:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:kitty pryde (aoa), spencer reid

413 - closed to Kitty
[ He's not looking forward to this one bit. This is a guy who's faced down countless serial killers, stared down the barrel of a gun more times than he cares to remember, isn't afraid to speak his mind in disciplinary hearings that could literally ruin his career and yet he's absolutely to the bone terrified of the conversation to come. It's a small prison with a dwindling population and a semi-militaristic loosely organised neighborhood watch led by his ex girlfriend. This should be nothing and yet it's everything.

He enters the Defence Force HQ and takes a deep breath before going to look for her. This is a professional call. He really hopes he can keep it that way. ]


(Post a new comment)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-03 01:59 pm UTC (link)
[She's sitting at her desk with the door open writing notes into a journal when she notices she's not alone. She looks up expecting, well, she's not sure who, but it wasn't him. But today is the day he would have gotten her letter, isn't it? She puts her pen down and smiles at him. And if she's honest? There's a flicker of nervousness in her stomach.]

Reid, hi.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-05 01:26 pm UTC (link)
[ The letter is what prompted him to do this today rather than push it off a bit longer. He's not exactly going behind her back, except he kind of is and if they're going to be friends he needs to come clean with what he's been doing. She deserves to know and if that means she doesn't want to be friends anymore... well. Fair enough. ]

Hi. Do you have a moment?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-05 03:44 pm UTC (link)
[She puts her pen down and nods.] Yeah, absolutely. Come in. You're always welcome.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-06 05:25 pm UTC (link)
[ Okay. Here we go. He takes a deep breath, remains seated as he puts a folder on her desk. It's thick, unlabelled. ]

I've been talking to some people about, uhm. About the state of the prison community. [ Diplomatic. ] This is what I found, along with some of my own suggestions. Do what you want with it, use it or... throw it out. Judging by the response I got, I don't think most people care either which way.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-08 02:27 pm UTC (link)
[She looks at the large folder and then back up at him. Not exactly what she'd expected to come of the letter.]

The state of the prison community?

[Recalibrating.] As it applies to the defense force? [Otherwise she's not sure why he'd bring it to her. Not that she wouldn't feel extremely flattered and heartened if he thought of her as someone to take some larger role in the prison, but she doesn't think that's where they are. She wouldn't mind being wrong.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-09 09:35 am UTC (link)
As it applies to all of us- [ All fifty, roughly. ] -but since the Defence Force is the closest thing to an organisation we have here, then naturally there's a focus on that.

[ She's the leader. That much was clear in his survey. ]

If you have any questions, I'd be happy to clarify.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-09 01:22 pm UTC (link)
[Only so many, so she starts at the broadest point since she hasn't read the materials.] Why don't you talk me through it?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-10 09:46 am UTC (link)
Alright.

[ He reaches over to flip the folder open, showing off the index and the color coding and neat typing. This is clearly not in response to the letter. This is something he's worked on for awhile and only now finished putting together. ]

First section is data on the prison, according to my most recent calculations - I doubt there's anything you don't already know in there and some of them, such as population size, are educated guesses at best. The chart over population fluctuation is heavily estimated based off my own impression of the population size over the last nine months so don't put too much faith in that.

[ He moves his finger down to section two, not bothering with flipping through it. She can read it later, if she wants to. ]

Problematisation, divided into input I've received from the limited group of people who showed interest in talking about all this and then some of my own concerns. Summarised, it seems the greatest concern is a lack of representation and the absence of a clear chain of command. I've kept the responses anonymous, I'm not looking to put anyone on trial here.

[ He pauses, wanting to see if she's following along so far but also to let those words hang a bit. This isn't an attack. If anything, it's a product of great frustration and feeling helpless for basically the entire time he's been here. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-10 02:02 pm UTC (link)
Who would be putting anyone on... [She's thinking it has something to do with the wardens after first, but that doesn't make sense. He means her. It stings. She doesn't know why he'd think that of her, but she moves past it. After her tense conversation with Peter she doesn't want to accidentally make anyone feel dismissed just because they catch her off guard or because she sees them as friends first.]

Why don't you tell me about your concerns? [She figures they were the impetus behind all of this.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-11 06:16 pm UTC (link)
[ It is about her, unfortunately. He wouldn't feel comfortable giving out names together with the opinions, in case she takes it the wrong way — better to just take the potential blow himself, if that's what'll happen. ]

Most of them are practical - like having designated zones in case of emergency, an alternative chain of command in case you and Jack are both incapacitated for some reason. Perhaps routines to follow when something does happen — the events may not be predictable, but I still believe they can be categorised in order of effect; personality changes, environmental, outside threats both physical and psychological. Having any of this clearly written out and available would cut down a lot of work when a crisis does occur.

There's also been a call for more inclusivity and transparency and, uhm. That's something I agree with. Putting this together I was told that if I wanted to help I should join the Defence Force again and although I'm no longer informed of your policies seeing as I'm a member, that doesn't sound like the way you would want to run this place. We shouldn't have to join just to feel like our concerns are valid and fairly met.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-11 08:17 pm UTC (link)
[She follows along, trying to take it piece by piece to give some thoughts and ask some questions.]

Designated zones is a good idea. Different emergencies might call for different things, but we can always redirect in that case.

With the chain of command... Hmm. On one hand, I do miss having a leader and team for every section because it was more constant input and people to rely on in those cases. Can't do a lot about that with a shrinking population though. On the other, it feels more military and that's not the direction I see us moving in. I want the overwhelming majority of our focus to be overthrowing the wardens. I think it's good to have teams that know how to work together in an emergency or fight because that might be part of overthrowing them and we have such different people coming together here that it takes time to build up that group dynamic, so having the regular practice is important. But I'd like to see the response teams be secondary. I think it already has been, but that's the part people see.

What are you seeing for inclusivity? We've relaxed the interviews and skills tests since I started as leader. We've never turned anyone down for the investigations team and I don't remember the last time we didn't pass someone for another part. Is it more about getting the communication out there that people are welcome? Which is probably where transparency comes in too? I've been trying to recruit someone for communications and had a grand total of no takers. Which might be where that person was coming from?

I mean, we're all volunteering our time to this group at various degrees of commitment, so we have what we have to work with. Not everything that could get done will get done because we need to prioritize. So, one of the best ways to see more happen is to be there making it happen. That doesn't mean we shouldn't listen to other input though and I've always respected your opinion especially. [She was disappointed he left for a lot of reasons.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-12 10:11 am UTC (link)
Okay, I'm going to come back to inclusivity because I don't think I've explained myself clearly enough. [ And this is a lot to start with, they don't need four conversations going at once. ]

I'm all for moving away from a militaristic structure, though several others disagreed with me on that point. The problem here, regardless of structure, is that it has happened in the past that both you and Jack are unable to act as leaders, which is a position you've both put yourself in. There's roughly fifty people left in this place and regardless if they're members of the Force or not, you're effectively acting as leaders for all of us. People expect you to communicate with us.

Who does that if both you and Jack are unable to?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-12 05:15 pm UTC (link)
I don't know how many people you spoke to, but the majority felt like we were leading everyone? [If she sounds surprised it's only because she is.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-13 10:23 am UTC (link)
Well... yes? [ He's surprised that this is a surprise. ] Even if they didn't agree with the Defence Force or wanted any part of it, it's pretty clear that you two are the closest thing to leaders we have.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-13 01:56 pm UTC (link)
That's...troubling. I mean, I guess I can see it. The school isn't exactly announcing instructions for people. But we shouldn't be seen that way. I was elected, but not by everyone. It's not a government. [Did she accidentally become a military dictator?] I didn't think anyone was taking it that seriously. I can't even get people to stay indoors when dinosaurs are attacking which you wouldn't think would require much effort.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-14 10:58 am UTC (link)
[ A benevolent one, if anything. It's not an entirely wrong label to put on what this comes across as, but he's not about to bring it up. ]

It's easy to pin responsibility on someone in a position of leadership, even when it's not a fair expectation to make. Regardless of intent, the Defence Force is the only institution we have. Either it has to live up to expectations, or change them.

[ Still professional, still business as if he's talking about a problem he needs to solve, which is very much what this is. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-14 02:00 pm UTC (link)
[She's quiet for a few beats. Thoughtful. Ever since the day spent in the twenty years into the future glitch she's wondered if this is what she wants for herself or if this is the right direction for the team. It's easy enough to play out the role, using the systems they set up to record information and routines to walk the dome and check for distress calls and train with other members. She didn't want to do anything rash so quickly after a glitch, not sure how it would settle out with time, but between Peter's complaints and this it's hard not to think of it more.]

Hmm.

Do you think we need leaders in Marina? [Wondering his opinion and not entirely sure of her own except she knows she only follows if she truly believes in a person and even then it's never without question.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-15 09:42 am UTC (link)
I think we could benefit from structure, but appointed leaders? No. Anyone in this place could disappear or lose their memories or become incapacitated at any time. Relying on a traditional system of a strict hierarchy of leaders is... ineffective. Not to mention there's only about fifty of us here right now, something that the ones who claimed to prefer a more militaristic structure didn't seem to take into account.

[ He sighs. There was a lot of beating his head bloody during the information gathering. Probably won't talk to Tieria about stuff like this anytime soon. ]

There's been talk about arranging something like a town hall meeting. To go back to an earlier point - the problem with inclusivity isn't that it's difficult to join the Defence Force but rather that those who don't want to join feel as though their opinion weighs less. Offering an alternative where we're all on equal standing and everyone is welcome to voice their grievances or ideas... that could be a step in the right direction.

[ He and Martha are already sort of looking for a place, though it's still early days and he's less willing to get into that right now. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-17 04:46 am UTC (link)
That's probably because we aren't a government. Shouldn't and can't be a government. But apparently are getting taken for one in the absence of a system of representation. [Said dispassionately as she turns the matter over in her mind. She listens because she cares about the people in the dome, not because she thinks it's necessarily appropriate for those unwilling to volunteer their time to put demands on those who do. Not when that was never how the organization was conceived or structured at least.

But right now her thoughts are less on how to fix the presentation or communication and more whether or not she wants to be the one to work on it anymore.]

There was a council in my future. The Defense Force had disbanded years before after gaining control of the dome. No idea what we actually did as a council, but it was there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-19 08:35 pm UTC (link)
We're not talking about government here, Kitty. [ It's comments like these that makes him wonder if she's actually listening to what he's saying. No one mentioned a government. Military, yes, several times. Police force or law enforcement or whatever, but not government.

Also, he's staying well clear of any future talk. Would rather pretend it never happened. ]

And like I said, a few of us have been working on putting together regular, informal meetings where everyone can voice their opinion. No leaders, just a moderator to keep things moving.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-19 08:47 pm UTC (link)
It was sounding a lot like one. [Though what he's saying now sounds more like group therapy to her.] To what end? Would there be an action component or just talking?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-24 10:17 am UTC (link)
Of course there'd be an action component. Discussions are pretty useless if they're not followed up on.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-24 02:51 pm UTC (link)
But without leaders?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-24 02:54 pm UTC (link)
Yes. Leaders the ones who are supposed to do the dirty work anyway. [ Trying not to be sour about that one — she knows how he feels about her tendency to put herself on the front lines. ] And, like I said... there's about fifty of us here. It's not really a huge group. We could organise like a community.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-24 03:18 pm UTC (link)
[She feels the jab there, but doesn't address it. She resists the cigarette she wants to grab.] What does that mean? How would a community organize? [It's not something she was familiar with as a child and after that the world was a very different sort of place.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-02-26 01:49 pm UTC (link)
[ It's a little frightening hearing these things from the person who, regardless if she knows it or not, is the closest thing to a leader they have. He's realising now that although Kitty may be perfect to lead a combat team, that's not what they have here. That's never really been what they have. ]

The way any small community would organize - through discussion, compromise and civil conversation or at least as close to that as we can come. Everyone would at least have the opportunity to have their voice heard and opinion considered. Any problem would be solved by consensus or perhaps a vote, depending on what we're dealing with.

It would also allow us to make use of unique view points that may not be that interested in being part of the Force. [ Like tiny demon girls who had a lot of feelings about the treatment of the demonic population. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-02-26 10:57 pm UTC (link)
[It reminds her of her vague memories of the council. Granted, that wasn't everyone, but everyone was represented. For the most part it was just the interested parties who wanted to spend their time that way. Of course much like the council she's not sure what sorts of things you'd handle that way. It doesn't sound fast enough for an emergency and she's not sure what that leaves for them to discuss in a group. The last part gets a slight eyebrow raise.]

You're seeing it as related to the Defense Force? Replacing it? Controlling it? Not just it's own entity?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-07 06:16 am UTC (link)
[ Ah, there it is. The thing he's been worried about — sure, this stems from a frustration with the state of the Force but it wasn't ever seriously meant as a coup. He shifts his weight, uneasy. ]

I think it's difficult to make it unrelated to the Defence Force seeing as there'll be a lot of overlap- [ Unless every member of the Force boycotts it. ] -but no, I don't see it as controlling or replacing anything. It's not a form of government, at least not a structured one. It's- town hall meetings, not the Senate.

A collaboration would probably be beneficial, but I haven't really thought that far ahead just yet. For all I know, this might never get off the paper.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-07 08:54 pm UTC (link)
[She just nods, still having trouble picturing how it's all supposed to work, but maybe if she saw something in action it would be different. She's also having some trouble engaging with the concept. She hasn't felt as connected to the force as she used to which isn't ideal for the leader. And the energy for maintaining is very different from the energy you need for overhauling or upgrading. It wasn't long ago these would have been words and not thoughts around Reid, but for now she keeps them do herself.]

Are you planning to start it up? [She wonders at the never getting off paper line. Is it because he thinks it won't get support or interest or because he's asking someone else to put it together instead—maybe her? She finds it sad she can't tell. They used to click so easily. Almost like reading each other's thoughts. Or it seemed that way once upon a time. She's probably too in her head for anything like that now.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-08 09:13 am UTC (link)
[ He hesitates, just for a bit, knowing that it may look like he's gone behind her back when that wasn't the intention with this. Things happen, you talk, you come up with ideas, a plan and then before you know it you're way into a project and never even informed people affected but not involved. ]

It's... already starting. Mostly talking, at the moment, but we're looking for a place to meet.

[ So it's happening. He's not just sketching out structures for the hell of it. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-08 08:40 pm UTC (link)
[Based on this alone she feels uneasy, but there's nothing specific. Nothing that feels like too much or too far. If she knew about the announcement he'd screened away from her this would all have been a very different conversation. The kind better filed under yelling. But no one has mentioned it.]

I see. Sounds like you've been talking a lot. [And part of her is genuinely happy about that. She doesn't want to see him lock himself away. It's just the subject matter and how it relates to the force—how it relates to all of them, herself included—that makes her uneasy about it. Feels very secretive for someone who wants more inclusion.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-09 05:36 am UTC (link)
[ This is part of the FBI agent in him — keep it close to your chest while you prepare, so you can give out the necessary information efficiently and without risking being taken off guard. ]

It's a topic that keeps coming up. [ That much is true. He's also not as busy as he'd like to be, which usually results in him grabbing on to whatever project comes in his path. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-12 12:37 am UTC (link)
Are other people bringing it up? [Or is it coming up because he brings it up?]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-13 06:39 am UTC (link)
It's... a concern, for some people. [ And yeah, he brings it up because he wants to know what people think, if anyone agrees, but he'd like to think he hasn't exactly been putting words in people's mouths. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-14 11:40 pm UTC (link)
[Nodding.] Well, I guess I have a lot to read over and think about then.

How are you doing? Other than productive. [Tapping the papers.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-15 06:21 am UTC (link)
[ There's some relief at moving on from the subject. He was nervous about this, no doubt. ]

Things are good, I guess. Keeping busy. [ Productively. Not so much socially. ] You?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-19 01:32 am UTC (link)
Good, I think. Or pointed in that direction at least. Still adjusting after the twenty years.

...I guess I should mention I'm seeing Pavel. Or maybe I shouldn't, but I don't know how this works best.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-19 08:53 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I uh... [ He clears his throat. ] I figured that out, actually. Some time ago.

[ Did she think he wouldn't? ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-19 02:38 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I guess it doesn't take a profiler to spot the bands. [She didn't mean for it to be a secret, but she also didn't want to flaunt anything and then she just wanted to be prepared in case they were ready someday and didn't feel like a trip to the kiosk right then.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-19 03:45 pm UTC (link)
Didn't really need to spot the bands to know what was up. [ And he is a profiler so, y'know. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-19 04:03 pm UTC (link)
No? Could have clued me in. I'm still figuring it out. But it's been good I think. I hope. And I've trained Chicago to give high fives.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-19 04:17 pm UTC (link)
[ There's a moment of hurt crossing his face before he collects himself again, holding on tight to the professionalism he's been wearing like an armour. Has she forgotten how recent their breakup was? Does she not realise how quickly she hooked up with a new guy? Because he knows. ]

Good. That's uhm. Good.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-19 04:37 pm UTC (link)
[She sees that look of pain and honestly it surprises her. She didn't mean to do that. She didn't expect to do that. To her way of thinking they've been over since he disappeared from the dome. She didn't want to believe that for a long time. She wanted to get back to where they'd been and beyond it, but even though there were still good times afterward they were fewer and harder fought. And she was on a happy pearl for most of them? So she's not sure what they would have felt like without that. But then it was just so much heartbreak and fear of losing him again and walking on egg shells and trying to take things slow and give space when she needed connection and reassurance and affection. She hadn't felt loved in a very long time. It's not something she blames him for. It was different people with different issues and different needs.

In their last attempt she'd been the one to end it, but she honestly expected he'd be relieved. That he wouldn't have her trying to get back together with him when it just didn't seem like something he wanted in his life anymore. So when she sees the hurt, she's not sure what it does mean, but she thinks she might have made some of the wrong assumptions about his feelings along the way. He was never very forthcoming with them and the more in her own head she got about everything the worse she was at reading him.]

Mm...yeah. I'm glad you're good too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]thisiscalm
2017-03-20 04:49 am UTC (link)
[ If he knew that's how she was thinking about this, he'd seriously question a lot of things about their relationship. You can't just clean up the narrative after the fact because it was a messy, confusing time and it'd make you feel better if you'd been broken up for months before hooking up with a new guy, rather than the two weeks it actually took to get banded. It's been barely a month and a half since the final breakup and maybe she can recover in no time at all and happily chat about her new great life with her new boyfriend that shares a face with their adopted serial killer son that's no longer here, but he can't do that. He suspects most people can't.

Then again, looking back, this was always present. She often ignored his comfort levels in the past, sometimes for the power of good but the more he thinks about it, the more he realises how little he feels that she respected or understood him. Outing him as a drug addict, for one. That was bad. Making him feel like he was constantly not enough for her, unintentionally at dances (and yes, that was mostly on him) but also by continuing to spend time with Tyki even when he was physically threatening Reid, by saying she wanted to support him after coming back from Maeve's death and then acting like he was trying to hurt her by struggling with his emotions... there's a lot. He understands that it's on both of them, neither handled it great but some things stick out so much that he can't help but remember how she was nineteen when they met, not much older now, and some days that age really shows. Of course, he couldn't bring that up without making it worse. There was no way to win in that situation. Some days he wonders if it would've been better if they never got together at all — at least then they might have a shot at being friends but as it is, he doesn't see it as an option.

Of course, all this is speculative and so he's left in a state of awkwardness rather than outright anger. He gives a stiff nod, shifting his weight. ]

Yeah. I uh... I should get going. Leave you to it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]kitty_has_claws
2017-03-20 10:56 pm UTC (link)
Right. Best of luck with all the busy, Reid. [She gives him a gentle smile.] Take care of yourself. [Just a thing people say, but in this moment she just really means it. Especially since she's not really in his life to help with that.]

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs