InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Does my bum look big in this?"

Rebecca Crane (needmymp3) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-01-25 18:03:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, rebecca crane, spencer reid

[412]

[Private to Aidan Reilly]

[The fallout of yesterday hasn't skipped over Rebecca's by any means. It clouds over her from the moment she wakes up and it's like waking up from a dream. A complex and guilt inspiring dream. She sits up in the bed for almost a half hour, leg draped over the side as she tries to get her bearings and catch up on the network. She still feels confused, like today's the falsehood but she knows what she wants to believe. She just hopes it's the right thing.

Still shirtless when she pulls up a feed to Aidan, she just needs to see him. She had been meaning to talk to him about the pregnancy hack idea but that's on the back burner now, she just needs to check in with him. Yesterday they felt like they had drifted so far apart. She has to know what that means for them. Now and in the future. What they want it to mean instead.

She's never felt so strangely alone since she got here as she does in this moment. Never felt this defeated either.]

Aidan? Can you... come over?

[Private to Spencer Reid]

Hey. I - don't know where to start about yesterday but I wanted to check in. We should talk about it, right? I'm sorry, if you want time to yourself that's cool too. I know it must've been... [hard] I just, I think you and I need to reevaluate our strategies. Map alternatives. Do something... something different.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	needmymp3 2017-02-07 07:30 am UTC (link)
	[And here's the complicated, touchy part.] Well. I sort of got the idea when Jamie and Alex were here. [She pauses, eyes drifting off to the side.] And after they left. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-07 12:12 pm UTC (link)
	[ Wait. Wait wait wait, is she suggesting what he thinks she's suggesting? She couldn't, right? No way. ] Rebecca... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2017-02-07 06:28 pm UTC (link)
	I know that's not the way to make it happen and I'm not expecting it to really happen. [Before any assumptions are made about her being hung up on the kids.] But. We- We agreed, didn't we? That we needed to find a way out of here for us or for them. And after seeing what might happen to us here if we don't? Aidan, there's no contest. We need out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-08 11:24 am UTC (link)
	I know. I know, but- [ He swallows sharply, turns fully towards her, hands clasped in his lap because he wants nothing more than to hug her so tightly that she can't do anything stupid. ] What if somethin' happens to you? [ Then, no kids, no escape, just him here alone forever. That's worse. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needmymp3
2017-02-08 07:45 pm UTC (link)

What if nothing happens? [And they're here forever. And things cool off because it's hard to let go of two - no, six beautiful lives that will never happen and they lose their spark with their futures both.]

I don't know what I want anymore, Aidan. To go home or to go home. It doesn't matter unless there's a way to do it and I can't not try. Not when-- they're in danger of coming here too, if they've already been sucked in for incomplete processing. And as much as I want to see them again, and really fucking assuming they're real, we have to burn this place off the map so that never happens.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-09 09:00 am UTC (link)
	[ He gets it and maybe he's selfish, maybe he's too cautious and scared and fucking heartbroken at the idea of not going home or her not coming with him. He fidgets, eyes in his lap. ] If somethin' happens to you then they're never going to exist. You get that, right? Doesn't matter if you find a way home if you can't go there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2017-02-09 03:32 pm UTC (link)
	I'll be careful? [As careful as she can be. It feels like a one-shot deal.] I know the risks. But I feel it's worth trying. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

redclayheroics
2017-02-10 09:32 am UTC (link)

[ He can't argue with that. He really wants to, wants to shout at her that she's being stupid and he doesn't want her to do it because she'll get hurt or dead or just plain gone but he can't argue with it. There's a moment where he's just quiet, chest tight and jaw set and then he throws himself at her, wraps his arms so hard around her that he should maybe be worried about bruising. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needmymp3
2017-02-10 05:30 pm UTC (link)

[She's worried for a beat that he'll stay angry with her, or do what he wants and yell. Part of her wants him to show some sort of emotion so she knows how to respond back. But he's quiet and still and she can feel her heart race in her chest up until he finally moves, catching her briefly by surprise until she melts into his tight embrace. Her arms slide around him in return, snaking just as tight as her voice cracks even in a whisper:]

I promise I'll be careful. [She presses her face in against his neck, her body leaning back against his.] Promise.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-11 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	You better be. [ He sniffles, tries not to cry on her neck but it's increasingly difficult. He hates everything about this but most of all he hates that he can't say no. ] I love you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needmymp3
2017-02-11 07:38 pm UTC (link)

[She slowly tugs him so they lay back against the couch, her arms pulling him close in a way that's intimate but in a sensitive, connected way. She just holds on to him with her own chest a bit tight, her fingers kneading his back. They should lay like this forever and ignore everything because it's working for this moment, when all she wants to see and feel is him.]

I love you too. [Every time she says it she means it deeper and deeper from the core of her.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-12 09:47 am UTC (link)
	[ Hngh, this is better. He makes himself comfortable, breathing her in for a moment in an attempt to calm himself down. How can this place be so heartbreaking? It never seems to let up. ] We should do somethin' tonight. Somethin' nice. [ While they still can. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2017-02-12 10:11 pm UTC (link)
	[Her arms stay tightly wound around him and it's not long before their breathing seems to sync up.] I'd like that. I'd like that a lot. Just us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-13 10:18 am UTC (link)
	Wanna... wanna cook dinner together or somethin'? We could make lasagna. I got my mom's recipe. [ Y'know, the recipe book the Wardens were so kind to gift him with and he's been too chicken shit to actually use? ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2017-02-14 12:43 am UTC (link)
	Yeah? That sounds nice. An' I bet your mom makes good lasagna. [She takes another deep breath, pressing her cheek to his. She kisses it after that.] ... Sounds beautiful. I'm in. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redclayheroics 2017-02-14 10:48 am UTC (link)
	It's the best. [ He wraps his arms around her in an affectionate squeeze. ] It can heal anythin'. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2017-02-15 05:03 am UTC (link)
	[They can lay here a bit first, right? Just soaking in all that skin to skin contact. Then maybe later they can get to that lasagna. She kisses his neck soundly and breathes a deep, peaceful sigh.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -