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Alexander "Alex" Michael Karev, M. D. ([info]evilspawn) wrote in [info]marinanova,
@ 2017-01-18 22:17:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:aidan reilly, alex karev

[411] open prompts & closed voice
[Gym]

[Alex Karev is pushing fifty with a rough, on the rocks kind of look. He's had his ups and downs in the dome, suffered through lapses of things he swore he'd never get caught up in and then some. But he's over 1000 days sober. Three years, if you want to make it sound less of an achievement. He'd given up on medicine for a few years before that, the Bad Years, and while he's retained knowledge and started to mildly practice again he's much more reclusive. That's what happens when your life royally screws you, repeatedly, to the point where you screw it right on back by pushing away a good thing. The Best Thing that's happened to him here. The best person-- who isn't here. So it doesn't matter.

He's at the gym in a hoodie an sweats, doing a little shadow boxing or beating up a punching bag with the hood up and a strained cloud of anxiety looming overhead. He's aged, no longer as fit as before but there's still a core of strength in him. A rage, even, that doesn't go away. Of course it doesn't go away. And knowing it's what links him to his father, that just fuels it further. At least tonight he'll have some bloody knuckles to look over.]


[Daffodil Dive]

[This is the only bar he lets him set foot in, and only then because he knows it's the only bar that wouldn't give him a drop from the tap if he begged. (And there are some sad, blurry memories of when he might've done just that.) It has the atmosphere that he misses, that feeling that he craves, but it doesn't fully satisfy the itch. Nothing does, of course. And it's feeling much worse tonight as he sips on his club soda and picks at bar nuts, bloody knuckles loosely wrapped in gauze.

He'll be there for a while, longingly staring at the taps with a look half disgusted. Then after he's loitered enough he'll shuffle away, either to the restrooms or back off into the night when he's finally had too much.]


[Private to Aidan Reilly]

[The last two years had been far better than the first one, it seemed he actually got self-sufficiently stable in the last twelve months. Maybe he'd just been internalizing since then but he'd stopped checking in with Aidan the way he used to, in the end dismissively waving off the notion of ever drinking again and assuring his sponsor - like many others - that he was perfectly in control now. That there wouldn't be another slip up.

But she came. And then she left again, and ever since the world seemed grayer. Cliche, pathetic, a whole slew of other words could describe it too but it all just build up inside him like the repressed desires for a drink and the want of a forgotten night. Three years. Over one thousand nights, some of them the worst days of his life. And here he is, pacing outside of Lyrical at a god-forsaken hour of the night on the verge of a mistake.

So, Spons. Hey.]
Aidan? Yo, you - you got a minute?



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[info]evilspawn
2017-02-05 09:54 pm UTC (link)
[Karev just follows, though it does have a calming effect on him - reminds him of tougher days when he dug up potatoes for hours just for something to focus on. His back still hurts at the thought.] Man, don't tell me I stopped you from getting laid tonight...

[Joking; he knows things between Aidan and his chick changed over time, not the same spark. He's had some of that experience himself - didn't mean one off nights couldn't happen either.] I hate being a cockblock.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-05 10:32 pm UTC (link)
Nah man, that wasn't going to happen tonight either way. I was alone. [ Asleep, but it's not helpful to point that out. ]

So, uhm... why're you out this late?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-06 01:50 am UTC (link)
Why am I out late most nights? I can't sleep. [And usually a run, a workout, it helps.

He's silent for a long beat, like he's turning his words over in his head.]
Everything good in my life I find a way to ruin. Jobs, relationships, lifestyle choices - you name it. I can screw it up or over in no time flat.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-06 02:23 pm UTC (link)
Hey, not all of that is on you. Bein' here for this long ain't exactly helpin'.

[ Not absolving Alex of all responsibility here, but. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-07 08:12 am UTC (link)
It is on me, I freakin' ruin everything, man! [Louder; but then he calms a little, rubbing his hand over his face anxiously.]

Look at you? You're a prime example of how to recover. I'm... I'm... [What is he.]

I'm doing it again, man. And I hate it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-07 12:14 pm UTC (link)
You really think I look like someone who's doin' well? [ Uhm. ] I didn't drink for that long an' I didn't have anyone around to tell me to stop. If I didn't have people lookin' after me here...

[ Well. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-08 04:43 am UTC (link)
[Why are you such a good bro? Really. Fuck.]

She was here again. [he confides] A few weeks ago. And I avoided her, like a bitch.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-08 11:17 am UTC (link)
[ They need good bros here. He's just sending out what he's getting back. ]

That girl you've been, uh. Hookin' up with? Shit.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-08 08:08 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. [Girl he got sober for and then tried to throw away.]

It felt better not to lose her again, y'know? But it'd been so long... Fuck, man? What if that was the last time?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-09 08:54 am UTC (link)
[ Oh no Alex you're breaking his goddamn heart here. ]

You can't know... you can't ever know that. Just gotta do th' best with what you get. [ This is the worst. ] If she shows up again, what're you gonna do?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-10 07:11 am UTC (link)
[Get drunk so avoiding her like a dick has a shitty excuse.] I don't know.

I don't do... feelings well.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-10 09:34 am UTC (link)
But you like her, right? I mean... shit, it's been forever but I still remember how you looked when you first told me you met her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-11 05:24 am UTC (link)
[He rubs his face again, but his lips twitch.] She was pretty hot.

Dude - I don't just think I'm in love with her. I know it. But it's not - not like I can tell her that. I just can't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-11 05:43 pm UTC (link)
Because she keeps comin' and goin'? [ He guesses. ] Why is that, anyway? I thought that wasn't really supposed to happen anymore.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-12 07:02 am UTC (link)
Yeah, well. My freakin' luck. [And torment.]

It's not like we can be happy here, if she stayed. [No growth. No life. No... kids?] Nobody stays together for long, at least not without seeing someone else on the side.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-12 09:26 am UTC (link)
[ Yeeeaaah can't argue that. He sighs. ] Is this better? I mean, if she's here, maybe you'll get a good few years at least. Better than nothin', if you ask me.

Ain't like every relationship has to end in disaster either. [ Him and Rebecca didn't, for one. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-14 03:10 am UTC (link)
... That's all mine ever do. [Suicide attempts, cancer, medical bills and abandoned. Yep.

He sighs, and then quietly:]
I thought I'd be settled down by now. Or crazy. One or the other.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-14 10:47 am UTC (link)
Yeah... yeah, me too. Figured I'd be home, at least. Put th' kids to bed, y'know?

[ He gets this part a little too well. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-15 05:18 am UTC (link)
Kids. [He repeats it, half thoughtful. He really did want those.]

One thing this place'd never freakin' give us.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-15 09:17 am UTC (link)
...That's why me an' Rebecca broke it off, y'know. I still love her, but... it ain't ever gonna go anywhere. Even though we already met 'em, those kids are never gonna exist.

I hate this place.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-15 10:13 pm UTC (link)
So do I. [It's just so the same. Every day. All this conversation is doing is reminding him of why he wants to drink again.]

If you two could though, would you? You're not from the same place, right?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-17 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. We talked about it, sorta... hell, two of our kids came to visit once. Y'know, those days when a bunch of people would show up an' then disappear th' next day.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-19 08:17 am UTC (link)
You would've been a good dad. [That's why this sucks tremendously.]

I wonder if I would've.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]redclayheroics
2017-02-19 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Probably. I mean, if you're actually sad about not havin' any, that's a pretty good sign that you want kids. At least, that's what I think.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]evilspawn
2017-02-19 08:34 pm UTC (link)
It's hard to lead by example when you didn't have a good one. [Daddy issues.]

I thought I would've, with my wife. With Izzie. [But then that didn't happen.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-02-20 11:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-02-20 08:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-02-23 08:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-03-07 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-03-07 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-03-07 02:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-03-08 11:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-03-09 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-03-09 05:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-03-10 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-03-11 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-03-12 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redclayheroics, 2017-03-13 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilspawn, 2017-03-14 02:00 am UTC

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