InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "a great big bushy beard!"

Pavel Chekov (candothat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-10-12 23:31:00

Entry tags:

kitty pryde (aoa), pavel chekov (au)

Day 397 [action | closed to Kitty]
[Chekov wakes up on Day 397 in a room that isn't his and with his arm draped over Kitty, who isn't usually in a bed with him. Usually no one's in bed with him. Usually he doesn't even bother sleeping in a bed. It's a disorienting way to regain consciousness for a number of reasons.

But he's quick to remember yesterday. Specifically the part of yesterday that involved Kitty asking him (with notecards--it was a strange day) to come over. She had seemed sad, but communication issues prevented him from learning why. Why hadn't really mattered once she'd curled up next to him.

He snuggles closer to her even though it would be wisest to get up. On one hand, he'd determined that giving her space was the best thing to do. On the other hand, they had ended up in bed together--fully clothed, but in bed nonetheless--and that had been her decision, so he can tell himself that Kitty doesn't want that much space after all.]

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kitty_has_claws
2016-10-16 11:34 pm UTC (link)

[It takes a moment but she unwinds enough to clutch him in return.] I know you deserve better than this. I just...

[It's like an emotional flinch when he gets too close even though he does it with affection she's trying to pull away and protect herself. Every time she's opened herself up it's ended in so much pain. Just ridiculous, dramatic, how is this her life levels. And she's the common link. She doesn't feel like she's been doing all the wrong things but maybe she just can't see it which means she can't fix it. What if she does it again? It's too much in her head and it doesn't serve her well and she knows that, but knowing it doesn't make it easier to break away from it.]

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	candothat 2016-10-17 12:12 am UTC (link)
	Kitty... no. [He kisses the top of her head and doesn't know what to say. There's no deserving, there's no better, and what words can convince someone that she's not too broken or cursed to be lovable? He has no idea. Plenty of feelings, but no idea what to do with them or how to fix everything.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-17 12:28 am UTC (link)
	[She holds him a little tighter.] I want to enjoy moments with you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-17 12:51 am UTC (link)
	You can. There a lot of moments that we can enjoy. [That doesn't make much sense, he just wants to make her feel better. Barring that, he'd like to help her understand that he's here and he cares. Maybe that won't be true forever, but it's true now and he's going to try to keep it that way.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-17 12:56 am UTC (link)
	[She's facing things she isn't sure she was ready to face because of him. May never have really been ready. Sometimes you just have to confront the thing. But she's still glad he's here. He doesn't make her feel worse. She does that all on her own.] Did you have some picked out? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-17 01:08 am UTC (link)
	Not yet. [He frees one hand so he can stroke her hair. Will that help? Is that good?] I need to narrow it down from 'all of them' to a more manageable number. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-17 09:02 am UTC (link)
	[It's good.] All of them sounds good. Let's do that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-17 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	Okay. [He kisses her head again.] You deserve all of the good moments. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-17 11:11 pm UTC (link)
	[She gently butts her head against his.] No, you. [Smiling softly.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-17 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, I do too. [Affectionately, and maybe a little teasingly.] Having those moments together would be much more efficient than each of us experiencing them individually. Half as many total moments. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-17 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	Well, that does seem like the most scientific way to look at it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-18 12:01 am UTC (link)
	Is there any other way to look at things? [Hint: there are. He's look at Kitty adoringly, not scientifically.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-18 12:26 am UTC (link)
	Not a one. [Can you never stop looking at her like that? Actually, hold that thought. She needs to kiss him again.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-18 03:33 pm UTC (link)
	[That definitely isn't horrible. He kisses her sweetly. There's still want, of course, but Kitty is going to have to deal with a certain amount of fluffy affection, too. Sorry, it's part of the Pavel package.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-18 11:05 pm UTC (link)
	[She loves fluffy affection. Don't let her occasionally rough exterior fool you. Once she lets herself relax it's all she really wants. Okay, not all, but it is definitely a favorite on the menu!] Did I already tell you that you're cute? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-18 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	You did, yes, and I insisted that you're cuter, which is still true. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-20 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	Think we're caught in some kind of time loop anomaly? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-20 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. One that can only be escaped by eating breakfast. [He makes another halfhearted effort to get up. Snuggling is so nice, though.] It's a very nice anomaly to be caught in. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-20 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	Is someone going to bring us breakfast? Is that a new service? [Reaching out to pull him closer which is almost like showing off that she is getting to be more good with this.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-21 01:38 pm UTC (link)
	I was going to, but I'm incapacitated. [He in no way resists. Resistance is futile! (But mostly he's happy with this and how okay Kitty seems to be.)] There are worse reasons to starve to death. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-21 01:44 pm UTC (link)
	[So much easier to be okay when you just act and go with the moment. Well, also easy to not be okay in that scenario, but not with Chekov. He just makes things better.] I promise to let you go prior to starvation. [Leaning in to kiss him again—fully.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-21 03:10 pm UTC (link)
	[She's so considerate and he's never going to not want to kiss her. Probably. There might be some situations where exceptions could be made, but none of them are happening now so he readily melts into another kiss.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-21 03:41 pm UTC (link)
	[Melty boyfriends are the best. Boyfriends? Oops. Getting ahead of herself. Probably. It didn't sound bad just now though.] Mmm... We could do it more. This. I mean with the sleeping over. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2016-10-21 03:57 pm UTC (link)
	[He'd roll with boyfriend! Or any label. Or no label. Look, he's easy.] I would like that. [There's a little bit of surprise. Chekov can't for the life of him figure out what degree of closeness Kitty is looking for. Sometimes, like now, it seems closer than others.] Did you sleep well last night? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-10-21 04:01 pm UTC (link)
	[Maybe best to keep it an internal thought just a little longer.] Better than I have in a really long time. [It doesn't help that Kitty doesn't know what degree she wants either, but she's slowly letting go of fighting herself over it. Maybe she can just go with what feels right and not assume that means it's wrong for awhile.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)