Martha Jones (notrosesshadow) wrote in marinanova, @ 2016-08-23 07:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | felix gaeta, martha jones, spencer reid, the doctor (ten) |
Day 390 | Voice | Closed to Gaeta, Reid, and The Doctor
[Martha didn't want to make this call. Hell, she didn't want to deal with this at all. Best to ignore what happened and stay locked in her room forever, right? But Jack had forgiven her and forced his company on her yesterday. Regardless of what she wanted, it was beyond time to apologize to the others.]
Gentlemen -
[Her voice cracked as she said it. No, she couldn't start crying now. Martha took a deep, shaky breath, cleared her throat, and tried again.]
Gentlemen. I... I know your first impulse might be to hang up on me. I understand, and I don't blame you if you do. I would too if I were in your shoes. But if you can stay until the very end, I would appreciate it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for attacking you. I'm sorry for humiliating you. I'm sorry for sending you mind games in the mail. I've been told that the AI was messing with our brains. That what I was three days ago isn't me so I can't be held responsible for what she did. But that doesn't change the fact that I still remember doing it. That I feel the guilt of what I've done. And that it happened to you. Nothing can erase what I did and I am so sorry that it happened at all. Yes, I was a vampire, but plenty of vampires can control their urges, and it was completely out of line to take those pictures and send them to you.
...
I want to promise that it will never happen again. With all my heart I want to promise that, but I don't know what the AIs will do next time they feel like experimenting. I can promise that as a human, I wouldn't hurt you. Any of you.
I can understand too if you would prefer to never see me again. While I have come to consider you important in my life, I understand that I fucked that up. I understand that you might not be able to forgive me. But please know that I regret every single thing I did that day. And if I had access to a Time Machine, I would break the cardinal rule and cross my timeline to make sure it didn't happen.
[She takes another deep breath. Wonders if any of them will take the time to listen to it.]
Thank you for your time.