InsaneJournal

Day 367 - Action
[Evening - Within Trois Park.]

[If she could disappear into the ground she would. Simply melt into the earth beneath her and lose all sense of feeling. Become the grass, or the trees maybe. Living, but unfeeling, incapable of being hurt by the many things all around her. Life would be so simple if there was a switch, to simply turn her emotions off and not have to feel the very real crushing weight within her chest. Instead, as though to mock her very real pain, the greenery around her shifted and changed, mirroring her emotions. It was out of season, but where the cherry tree against her back should have been leafy greens, pink blossoms bloomed and fell in excess. Like the tears that streamed silent down her cheeks, they fell to the ground, and covered her and the earth beneath in pink and white petals, like snow. It zapped some of her strength, something that only happened here in Marina, but she could hardly put a stop to the way her emotions ran wild. Butterflies fluttered around the scene, and would seem out of place if not for the large, blood-like butterfly wings that decorated her back.

She had lost everything. Everything she had fought so hard to accomplish had fallen into ruin. Even though she had tried her hardest, even though she wanted more desperately than anyone to work for peace, and to stop and save her brother... it hadn't made one single difference. He had been right. 'No matter how hard you try, sometimes it will amount to nothing.']

Oniisama...

[It was all her fault. Now he was gone, frozen forever without a heart. What had she done wrong? She had tried so desperately to be the person that he had wanted, but she had failed. And now eternity would be hers to spend alone. She was a mother, she learned, all in the same day that apparently she had become a widow, or close enough. How was she supposed to be a mother, when she couldn't even protect the one person she had always loved? And now of all times? She was only seventeen. One year older than the girl who looked just like her and claimed to be her daughter. There was no doubt that she was. But Yuuki didn't know how to be there for or take care of her, when her own world was crashing all around. It was better if the girl ran as far away from her as she could.

Everything I love or get close to dies. As though her touch was toxic. One after another. Her mother and father, and now Kaname, too. Zero and Ai-- they weren't safe around someone like her. Eyes brimming with tears, she helplessly lifted a hand up to scrub at them. Her soul hurt, and she didn't know how to move forward from it.]