InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "why don't you cry about it?"

Spike (chipswiththat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-01-11 14:30:00

Entry tags:

ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), malcolm reynolds, rebecca crane, sam winchester, spike

358 - voice + action
[ It's surprisingly early, for him. Vampire habits and all that, this transmission should happen later in the afternoon but it doesn't. He also sounds surprisingly drunk for it being this early in the day — effort was taken to reach this level of inebriety. It's clear in the tone of his voice, the stubborn lack of video, the briefness of the message. ]

Rose is gone. She was a good person even if you wankers didn't appreciate it.

[ And off goes the feed. He'll make his way to the graveyard with as many bottles of whiskey as he can possibly carry. Gotta start early in the day if you want to drink yourself to oblivion. Anyone coming across him can expect to find a fumbling mess of a man and more than one smashed bottle. ]

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	foreverjack 2016-01-13 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	"What? You think I should be telling you you've had enough?" He hands the bottle over easily, taking the time to make sure it's securely in his hand before letting go. "What good does that ever do? Enjoy it while it lasts. You're the one who'll be feeling the effects come morning!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-01-13 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	"Everyone else has, so far." Not true. Also wow, that was way too easy. He gives Jack a suspicious glance before deciding to not think too hard about it, instead unscrewing the cork and taking a hefty swig, as if this is water and he's been stuck in a desert all week. "What if I just... what if I stay drunk. Forever. Won't catch up to me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2016-01-13 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	Jack is, frankly, impressed by Spike's capacity to down whisky like it's water. He chuckles lightly and shrugs. "Sounds like a plan. Though of course, our wardens being the dear souls that they are, they'd probably find some way to make you regret it even if you never got a hangover." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-01-13 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	He's had a lot of practice. That's probably not something to be proud of. "Tch!" He scoffs, gesturing wildly and unsafely with the bottle. "Let'em do their worst! 's nothin' left they can do." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2016-01-13 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh, I don't know, they can be pretty creative," he remarks, ducking a bit to avoid being hit by the bottle. "Yesterday, for instance. Though I guess you don't remember too much about that?" He caught 'Simon's transmission in the end, but was too occupied with a strange and desperate need to visit the bathroom to get around to responding. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-01-13 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	(And somewhere in the dome, Reid is feeling a strange sense of satisfaction). "If I did, I don't now." Glimpses at best, vague memories of being a moron. Nothing he cares to remember and so he doesn't. Even if Rose would've been here today, he may have overindulged on the whiskey just to blank out those memories properly. "What about you? They mess with you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2016-01-13 09:43 pm UTC (link)
	He chuckles. "Fair enough." He knows the power of a bottle in aiding memory loss. God knows he's used it enough times in the past, himself. "I got swapped with Spencer Reid," he says dryly. "Not exactly a bundle of laughs." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-01-13 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	That actually lures a laugh out of him, a bark of a chuckle made all the more gross since he didn't swallow everything in his mouth before doing it. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and all the grace of a drunkard. "Wow, you really drew the short straw with that one. That's cruel." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2016-01-15 04:27 pm UTC (link)
	That gets him another dry look - partly at the whisky-spewing, partly at the comment. "Not as cruel as swapping me with you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-01-15 04:34 pm UTC (link)
	Hey, what do you expect. He's not neat and clean on a good day. "Now you're just being mean. Besides, I know someone who didn't seem to mind that so much." Sorry Ianto, so so sorry. He's hideously drunk and sad and that makes tact and secret keeping go out the window. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2016-01-15 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	The look gets drier still. "Whatever's happened between the two of you since--" and he doesn't really know, apart from the obvious screwing on the day they got engaged "--that day, I almost killed him because I was in your body. It was a pretty crap day." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-01-15 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	Spike makes a noncommittal noise, taking another deep drink from the bottle. This is getting way too serious for a night like this. "Is that why you're here? To watch me drink and give me shit for things I had nothing to do with?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2016-01-19 09:43 pm UTC (link)

"Pretty much, yeah," he agrees, with a faint grin.

As a matter of fact, he feels Spike had plenty to do with him biting Ianto when he was in Spike's body, because it was Spike baiting him from the safety of the far end of a phone line that wound him up so far he couldn't control the demon. But going into that now wouldn't accomplish anything, and Spike's probably so drunk he wouldn't even remember anyway, so what's the point of having a go at him about it?

"Actually, I came to tell you I'm sorry Rose has gone too. I know Ianto didn't really know her, but she and I had some good times and some interesting conversations together."

Even if everything had soured considerably after the re-ensouling.

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chipswiththat
2016-01-20 08:30 pm UTC (link)

If he knew that Jack blamed him even a little for that, he'd deny it forcefully. So maybe he stirred the pot but that was to prove a point, which he did even if Jack didn't seem to get it. Biting Ianto was just part of that proof – it's not so damn easy to walk around with a demon, is it?

"Should've known you talked to her." One of the few, it seems. Maybe Rose didn't have as many friends as he thought she did.

"She was a good person. Better than I deserved."

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foreverjack
2016-01-20 10:00 pm UTC (link)

Unfortunately, Jack is not quite that insightful. Though some of that could certainly be blamed on the fact he wasn't thinking at all rationally at the time and it's thus hard to think about it rationally in the aftermath too. All he remembers is the blind rage, and hunger.

But at least he's willing not to dwell on it right now. He grins. "We hooked up my very first day. Nude sunbathing together on the beach. We kind of hit it off."

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chipswiththat
2016-01-20 10:33 pm UTC (link)

He gives Jack such a tired, dry look that it must seem almost uncharacteristic for Spike. He's usually the one riling people up, being inappropriate, insensitive, finding that one crack he can fit his fingernails into and then he pries and pries and pries until something breaks. For fun. For profit.

It's a great testament to just how down in the dumps he is today that he doesn't see the fun in the statement.

"What the hell possessed you to think I want to hear about your sunbathing adventures with my girlfriend? Today? "

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foreverjack
2016-01-23 03:20 pm UTC (link)

Oh, Spike's definitely not the only one who enjoys riling people up - certain people, anyway. And with Spike, it's apparently so much of a habit, it's hard not to do it even when he was intending to be nice.

Well, mostly.

He shrugs. "Ianto said you seemed upset not people actually knew her. I thought you pleased to know there actually was someone else here she'd hit it off with."

Yeah, still baiting, at least a little. Sorry.

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chipswiththat
2016-01-23 05:36 pm UTC (link)

"'Course he'd squeal..."

Not that he expected anything else, really. Some things are private between him and Ianto, he knows that much (and if Ianto breaks that trust then some bones will break in the process) but him lamenting that Rose didn't get the attention she deserved isn't part of that. Still, no fun to be confronted by all these squishy emotions.

"Don't think she ever mentioned you."

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foreverjack
2016-01-24 01:27 pm UTC (link)

"He was worried about you." A beat. "Believe it or not, the reason I came along was because I was worried about you too. And - you know - to lend an ear if you wanted someone to talk to." He grimaces a bit. "Guess I'm not very good at going about that."

He never has been, really. Especially with people he's more used to bantering with.

And that's as close as you're going to get to an apology, Spike.

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chipswiththat
2016-01-24 03:37 pm UTC (link)

"What's there to talk about?" He shrugs. "She's gone, I'm still here."

And in the end, that's the thing that really bothers him - still being here. He's used to seeing people come and go in his life but he's usually the one doing the leaving and now he's just... left behind. Sometimes he wonders if Angel really did find a way out and decided he wasn't worth bringing along.

"I'm fine. You can scurry back to your boy."

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foreverjack
2016-01-24 09:05 pm UTC (link)

He bristles a bit at the dismissal, but determines to give it one last try, even though he's starting to feel that he just isn't the right person to be doing this. Ianto's so much better at it than he is.

"I do have some experience in that field, you know," he mentions, with a slight shrug. "A hell of a lot more than most. Lost a lot of people over the years. I know what it's like to be left behind."

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chipswiththat
2016-01-24 10:45 pm UTC (link)

"I'm usually the one leaving."

He admits that much, at least. This is new for him. With Dru, he could at least chase her down and try to win her back but here? He can't do shit. With everything that's happened since he arrived, with chips and souls and losing practically everyone he could call a friend or at least an ally, he's worn down to the bone.

He's not sure why he's continuing. Blame the exhaustion, the booze, desperation, whatever the hell you want. Either way, he's saying more than he ever intended to.

"...I asked Ianto to stake me."

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foreverjack
2016-01-27 08:17 am UTC (link)

"Lucky you," he says ironically, to the first part, though it's not actually ironic at all - he seriously envies Spike that element of his past. Since he met the Doctor, he's always seemed to be the one left behind.

And then he sucks in a breath at the depth of revelation in that last part. Ianto didn't tell him that.

Spike might be expecting a flippant, "What stopped him?" or something along those lines, but he doesn't get it. Instead, Jack gazes at him with genuine concern. "It's really that bad?"

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chipswiththat
2016-01-27 04:00 pm UTC (link)

Spike gives Jack a weary glance before turning his attention dome-wards, to the projected sky, the wet depths behind it. Wasn't that long ago that he felt like if he could only break through the glass, he'd find freedom. Now, what's even the point of trying?

"...I have nothing left here."

Energy, enthusiasm... sanity. Rose anchored him, kept him on the right side of the edge even when he was teetering dangerously close during those first weeks with a soul. She gave him humanity without being human, gave him something to focus his efforts on.

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foreverjack
2016-01-27 05:09 pm UTC (link)

He watches Spike for a long moment, and then lets out a long breath as he gets it. He's been there - god, has he been there. Alone in the dark with everything he was living for gone and nothing to hope for except more of the same. And knowing there was no way out because he couldn't die.

He hadn't realised that now, here, similarly immortal, others might come to feel that way too.

"My advice?" he says, in his voice a depth of old guilt and tiredness Spike probably hasn't heard before. It's not stuff he's currently dwelling on these days, but that doesn't mean it's not still there underneath, waiting for the next time he loses everything he holds dear.

"Crawl into that bottle and stay there just as long as you can. It's not going to get any better."

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