InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Love you too, everyone"

Spike (chipswiththat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-08-16 16:11:00

Entry tags:

anya jenkins, brian moser, deanna troi, doctor facilier, euphemia li britannia, ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), rebecca crane, spike, zatanna zatara

284 // voice
[ The feed starts long before anyone speaks, lingers in eerie silence broken by the clicks of a stubborn lighter, the dry crackle of tobacco being set alight, the hollow intake of smoke in dead lungs. The trembling exhale, functioning as an initial indicator to just how rough and ragged his voice is when he does speak. Strained, like he's been screaming himself raw or perhaps the measured and stilted words are a product of him trying to keep himself from doing just that. ]

Are you happy now? Is the world all bright, full of puppydogs and rainbows again? Messing with things you don't understand... makes you feel powerful, doesn't it? Like you're in control. Like you know something. Let me tell you a lit'le secret: you don't know shit. You've never been in control and you never will be. Always somethin' else, calling the shots... whether you realize it or not.

The real monsters aren't out there... but in here. [ Punctuated by the hollow knock of knuckles against breastbone and then he cuts the feed. ]

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	needmymp3 2014-08-30 12:14 am UTC (link)
	I don't - I think... the DF did what it had to to protect this place. You posed a threat, they had to act. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-08-30 01:22 pm UTC (link)
	There are other ways to act. A good old-fashioned stake would've done the trick, don't you think? [ And he told Jack, he told him again and again that if he had even the smallest sliver of compassion left... ] No one died, Rebecca. Don't you see? [ He played nice. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-08-31 01:19 am UTC (link)
	How would staking you be better? [She sighs.] You did what you did, Spike. They - we - had to react. [She's still a part of this, might as well include herself as a participant.] ... Did you want to be staked? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

chipswiththat
2014-08-31 06:13 pm UTC (link)

[ He fakes a weary sigh. ] 'Course I didn't want to be staked, but that's the way it goes. Vampire kills people, Slayer stakes vampire, unless vampire kills Slayer first in which case a new Slayer comes along to try her hand at the vampire staking. It's a whole... circle of life thing.

There's honor in a staking. A proper fight. There's no honor in what you lot did, as much as I deserve it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-01 08:45 pm UTC (link)
	[You know, Tyki'd understand that a lot better than Rebecca does. She just kind of quietly listens.] You can have a purpose other than being the baddie, you know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-01 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	And do what, exactly? Help lit'le old ladies cross the road? It's not like you've got a lack of free time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-02 06:15 am UTC (link)
	Learn to knit? Sing, dance, write poetry? I don't know. [And really, she doesn't. Just throwing some options out there.] ... I actually want to find a way out of here. And some undead brute strength might come in handy sometime. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-02 07:13 am UTC (link)
	[ Those aren't options, Rebecca. Well, maybe one... ] Are you talking about finding a way out or a way back? Big difference, there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-06 12:33 am UTC (link)
	... Back, preferably. But out doesn't sound so bad either. [Because who knows how Matrixy this whole thing is, either way.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

chipswiththat
2014-09-06 08:36 am UTC (link)

[ He thinks about it for a good long while. Getting out... or going home. What would that lead to? Either he goes back to the chip or he stays here with the soul. Regardless of choice it's a shit life waiting for him and judging by what Buffy and Dawn hinted at while they were still around, it'll only get shittier. ]

No. [ Defeated. ] No, I won't help you. There's no point.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-07 06:57 am UTC (link)
	You're going to just give up and quit? [Hn, maybe she won't tell you her grand plans then.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-07 07:01 am UTC (link)
	[ He chuckles, all thin and worn down. ] You do this to me and then have the audacity to ask for my help? I have nothing left, Rebecca. Nothing. I can't even eat, for fuck sake. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-07 07:11 am UTC (link)
	... Why not? [Guilt? She's supposing.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-07 07:15 am UTC (link)
	Why... why. [ Hah... ] Do you know how many I've killed? A century... a century of blood and death. [ All coming back to haunt him in one swift blow. That's the kicker. ] Can't even keep the synthetic stuff down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-07 07:19 am UTC (link)
	... I'm sorry, Spike. [That sounds awful. She really can't comprehend how awful it must be.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-07 07:21 am UTC (link)
	I told you, I told you. [ That it's torture, that it's disproportionate, that it'd be infinitely better to just stake him if they wanted him gone because nothing compares to this. Nothing. ] Do you know what happens to vampires who don't feed? We don't die... we become walking skeletons. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-07 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	So it's - the guilt? Making you sick? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-07 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	[ A noise of agreement — got it in one. ] It all adds up, over the years. Get your soul back... it's like breaking a dam. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-08 07:23 am UTC (link)
	... Geez. [She really is apologetic, okay. But - also, well. Some things have to be done. Sorry not-sorry?] I hope it even out, Spike. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-08 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, yeah... we're all hoping for that, aren't we. [ Unimpressed. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-09 03:29 am UTC (link)
	I don't think there's much I could offer or much you'd want from me, but if I can do anything, let me know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-09 09:05 am UTC (link)
	You don't owe me anything, Rebecca. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-11 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Doesn't stop me from offering what I've got. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-11 09:29 am UTC (link)
	And what's that, then? What do you really have? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-09-12 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	Company, an open ear? I don't know, you tell me. Frankly, I like you. I didn't like that this had to happen, but whatever. If there's something I can do for you now, just tell me and I'll try. 'Kay, dude? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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chipswiththat, 2014-09-13 08:23 am UTC

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