InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "super rad"

Spike (chipswiththat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-08-16 16:11:00

Entry tags:

anya jenkins, brian moser, deanna troi, doctor facilier, euphemia li britannia, ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), rebecca crane, spike, zatanna zatara

284 // voice
[ The feed starts long before anyone speaks, lingers in eerie silence broken by the clicks of a stubborn lighter, the dry crackle of tobacco being set alight, the hollow intake of smoke in dead lungs. The trembling exhale, functioning as an initial indicator to just how rough and ragged his voice is when he does speak. Strained, like he's been screaming himself raw or perhaps the measured and stilted words are a product of him trying to keep himself from doing just that. ]

Are you happy now? Is the world all bright, full of puppydogs and rainbows again? Messing with things you don't understand... makes you feel powerful, doesn't it? Like you're in control. Like you know something. Let me tell you a lit'le secret: you don't know shit. You've never been in control and you never will be. Always somethin' else, calling the shots... whether you realize it or not.

The real monsters aren't out there... but in here. [ Punctuated by the hollow knock of knuckles against breastbone and then he cuts the feed. ]

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	foreverjack 2014-08-23 09:48 am UTC (link)
	Of course I know. [Still testy.] But I want to hear it in your own words. Why don't you explain to me why the soul means you can't take your own life, Spike? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-08-23 09:51 am UTC (link)
	Are you getting off on this? Hearing the kind of torture you've put on me? Does it make you hard, Jack? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2014-08-23 09:57 am UTC (link)

[Oh, for fuck's sake!]

I'm not wired that way round, Spike, as you should know. [The other way round? Oh, yes - and that's a part of how you got away with it for so long, Spike.]

For the umpteenth time, this is not a punishment, and I didn't do it to torture you. Okay, I admit that is obviously a side effect, but it wasn't the purpose of it. The purpose of it was to encourage you not to want to hurt other people. And I'd really like to know if that's working at all!

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chipswiththat
2014-08-23 10:04 am UTC (link)

[ There's a brief pause and then he switches to video — maybe if Jack can actually see what it is he's done the point can be pushed home. Spike doubts it, but what the hell. ]

What do you think? [ Lips cracked, features sunken in, eyes hollow and haunted. In short, he looks exactly as much like shit as you'd expect from a man who hasn't been able to eat or sleep in days. ] As for the punishment... you seem to be one of the few who still views this as a harmless solution. Not even your boy agrees.

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foreverjack
2014-08-23 10:20 am UTC (link)

[Okay, that does give him pause, at least for a moment. Spike really does look like shit.

Of course, he's not looking too great himself at the moment, with two black eyes caused by that broken nose, and still with that seething anger beneath everything.

Still, his tone is noticeably softer when he replies.] I didn't say harmless. I said best available option. I still maintain that, but if you really want someone to come round and put you out of your misery, I had plenty of volunteers.

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	chipswiththat 2014-08-23 10:23 am UTC (link)
	[ In this moment, it's a tempting offer but if Angel could do it, so can he. Faster. Better. He shakes his head: no. ] I don't need your pity. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2014-08-23 10:35 am UTC (link)

[Yeah, Spike's already made it very clear that's not an option he wants to take. Which means...]

Fine. So you need to start working on whatever you need to do to get over it. [His mouth twists.] Though I don't realy blame you for just flailing at the moment. I know I would.

[Did, after the business with the 456. Okay, it wasn't guilt on the scale Spike's experiencing now, but it's enough to give him an inkling.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-08-23 10:39 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, don't hold your breath for that. [ It took Angel decades to just get back to being a functional corpse. Spike wasn't there for most of it, but they were together during the Boxer Rebellion and that was terrifying enough. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2014-08-23 02:22 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't intend to. [And, since sympathy's not going to go down well now, he doesn't offer it.] I guess I should get out of your hair. Let you get on with working through this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-08-23 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	Piss off, Jack. We're done. [ Resigned, he cuts the feed. So much for that. ] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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