InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I have plans."

Dave Strider (occupylohac) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-06-15 16:47:00

Entry tags:

aradia megido, bro strider, dave strider, dirk strider, helix wamtani, jake english, lelouch vi britannia

audio; evening of day 223
[ well, shit.

he's been here for nearly a full day now without saying anything. and you know what? he's tempted to keep it that way. but eventually, he's going to have to say something - gotta make his presence known. gotta enlighten the masses. ~~gotta post within a week of being accepted.~~ what? a third reason? there is no third reason. dave strider works entirely within the framework of double parallelisms. he's just that kind of guy.

and so, for entirely non-meta reasons, dave strider clicks on the audio feed, clears his throat, and begins his speech. ]

Well, shit. Looks like it finally happened. No real surprise here, right? The RIAA always needs new victims – they're corporate bloodsuckers, and they've got to find cattle somewhere. I mean, fuck, they're literally the man. The men? Shit, is the man really a collective noun here? That's fucked up, yo.

[ is he getting off track? maybe. will that stop him? NO SIRREE. ]

Anyway, so. We've got a bunch of suits sitting at a table Dr. Strangelove style, discussing who to sue next, right? And they're like, how about this rad dude, all pointing at an IP address on the holoscreen, since he's just too cool for us to handle any longer. And a few of the guys in the back, Connors and Jenkins - fuckin' Jenkins, man, just started here last week, doesn't really have his bearings yet - have the balls to ask well, what exactly makes him special? And see, here's the thing - he really is a fucking menace. Dude downloads like an LP a week. He got himself a free copy of Photoshop, without even paying for a student license. And you know what the worst part is? He keeps his seeder ratio above one point five.

[ he has the audacity to give a vaguely apathetic gasp. ]

What, one point five? You're fucking with me, right? Nope - dude's just a fucking paragon of shitty internet pirates.

[ ...he clears his throat. this got out of hand quickly. ]

...anyway, that's basically how I got thrown in fucking underwater prison for piracy and goddamn cyberbullying. Take notes here, kids. Don't make the same mistakes I did - drink your milk, don't do drugs, stay in school and all that shit.

[ ... ]

Oh, and try to avoid multiple counts of genocide if you can. I mean, that kind of takes a backseat to forging a digital signature on porn site splash pages, but its gotta count for something, right? Right. I'm out.

[ click! ]

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	occupylohac 2013-06-18 02:38 am UTC (link)
	[ whoa, shit - he can identify that voice! mostly. it's been a while since they've hung out. and by "hung out," he means she talked for like ten minutes about funerals and then flung a meteor way the fuck away. he's still not sure what the fuck is going one with her. ] Sup, corpse-chica? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	corpsepartying 2013-06-18 07:15 am UTC (link)
	Glad you're here, mostly! [ that probably comes off wrong, as most of what aradia says does, but it's true. even if dave's not exactly pleased to be here, his presence is weirdly comforting, just because he's someone more familiar than the alphas. ] Has anyone shown you around yet? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	occupylohac 2013-06-19 11:34 pm UTC (link)
	Ahahaha, holy shit. Glad some things don't change. [ aaand that probably comes across as dickish, as most of what dave says is does. sorry, aradia. :'( ] Nah. Figured sitting around in the housing was good enough for now. Maybe I'll grab a bite to eat or something, eye-dee-kay. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	corpsepartying 2013-06-22 02:47 am UTC (link)
	If food is what you're looking for, I'm sure you won't be disappointed. Don't let the fact that this is technically a prison fool you. [ aradia's talking a little faster than usual due to excitement. ] Do you like pizza? There's really good pizza here. And hotdogs. [ dave, dave, dave! listen to her talk about HUMAN FOOD. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	occupylohac 2013-06-29 05:21 am UTC (link)
	Are we talking troll or human pizza? [ she's getting excited, huh? wonder if someone's died. ] Wait, fuck, do you guys even have pizza? Shit, it's been a year and I still haven't asked if you guys know what pizza is. That's fucked up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	corpsepartying 2013-07-03 04:40 am UTC (link)
	Human! It's really quite good. [ a pause for thought. ] Lowbloods rarely had food that required much effort to prepare, so ... nothing too close to pizza? But I know what it is now! (Reply to this) (Parent)

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