InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's for my prince."

Calliope // Caliborn (ophiuchus) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-03-11 10:49:00

Entry tags:

aradia megido, calliope-caliborn, dirk strider, helix wamtani, jade harley, jake english, korra, piter de vries, shining armor, sora himoto, spike, xander harris

[voice] ⛎ DAY 210
[A voice breaks the peace and quiet. It’s rather androgynous, rather rough from disuse, but loud and abrupt and demanding ~~and bratty~~ all the same.]

Whoa. This “crimes list” is fantastic. An outline of my accomplishments. Great and terrible. And I haven’t even done most of it yet?

But. “Cheating”? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I don’t cheat. Fix it. Put it right immediately. Maybe I’ll forget about your little “mistake.” And let you die quickly. Instead of slowly and painfully.

[And then Caliborn brushes it off, at least for now, because he has more important matters to attend to.]

Now. Where’s all my shit? Bring it to me.

I’m waiting.

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	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 02:15 am UTC (link)
	I've just told you that I have matters to attend to, child. Although... [ a pause for dramatic effect. ] It could be arranged, on the condition that you show yourself first. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 03:30 am UTC (link)
	No. At the same time. Privately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 03:57 am UTC (link)
	You drive a hard bargain. [ another pause. he is turning gears within gears here. planning plans within plans. ] But it can be done, yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:07 am UTC (link)
	Hey. This is necessary. You see. My face inspires fear. In thousands. [Of Dersites. When he's a known killer/trouble-maker. But shh.] This way. You won't chicken out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:12 am UTC (link)
	Oh, yes, I'm quite sure it does. [ spoken as if talking to a child of five or six. ] But I do assure you that I've no plans to "chicken out." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:33 am UTC (link)
	Never underestimate. Your potential. For screaming and crying like a little girl. Now. Tell me how to make it private. And we'll do this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:36 am UTC (link)
	If your intellect is as great as you've claimed it to be, it should be a simple task to figure that out on your own. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:37 am UTC (link)
	[omg?!?!?!] Fuck you. I just got here. Even a genius needs time to learn a new computer?? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:41 am UTC (link)
	I disagree. Of course, I am "a genius." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:48 am UTC (link)
	[Caliborn growls, which is a sound that actually sounds like one rather than just a throat making a funny noise.] [But it's still high-pitched and kind of stupid sounding.] [Anyway, he bangs on the device and eventually.] [private by some miraculous happenstance] (but still voice) There. It's done. See. I am also a genius. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / audio ] blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:55 am UTC (link)
	[ piter is keeping his end on voice for now, as well— he needs just a moment before switching over, anyway— and he actually has to take a moment to stifle silent laughter into his hand at caliborn's failure. this is all simply too much. ] See? I'm afraid I see nothing. [ a derisive "you magnificent dolt" is implied here. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / audio ] ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:00 am UTC (link)
	[Alas, as far as Caliborn is concerned, he has not failed. ONLY SUCCEEDED BEAUTIFULLY.] We have to do a count. That's the only fair way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 05:02 am UTC (link)
	[ fairness??? what is this, house atreides? ] Very well. You may do the honors. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:08 am UTC (link)
	Fine. When I say "go." We activate the viewport function. Both ways. Your face. My face. Staring at each other. With our eyes. Three. Two. One. ... Go! [Holy shit look at that he actually managed to turn on the video feed. We're all so proud of you Caliborn.] [The result: a red swirl-cheeked, fluffy-eyelashed cherub glaring/smirking into the camera.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / video ] blue_eyed 2013-03-21 05:14 am UTC (link)
	[ it takes just a moment, but soon enough the video feed is on. caliborn is greeted by this face. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / video ] ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:16 am UTC (link)
	[Caliborn's expression breaks into a blinking kind of indignation.] Why are you a cat. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blue_eyed
2013-03-21 05:22 am UTC (link)

[ oh my god caliborn. you can't just ask people why they're cats.

the cat cocks its head for a moment before daintily bowing it and licking at its paw. ]

Why? I should think it would be obvious. Were you expecting something else? Perhaps a reptile?

[ his voice comes from the perfect distance to make it seem like the cat is totally talking. it is impossible to see through this elaborate ruse. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:31 am UTC (link)
	A human. Or maybe even a troll?? Or whatever else. Just not a cat. Cats don't talk. [He speaks as though he is an expert on cats, rather than a guy who has seen pictures of them once or twice.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 05:39 am UTC (link)
	What irresponsible, ignorant fool told you such a thing? My culture— [ the cat is still licking his foot and pauses to nibble and pull at a claw, at which point piter pauses as well ] —is one rich with oral tradition. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:49 am UTC (link)
	The tradition. Of saying "meow." [Caliborn is basically just being racist now and he doesn't care.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blue_eyed
2013-03-21 05:56 am UTC (link)

[ piter's one condition with this gambit is that he absolutely refuses to meow. it's not going to happen. he is an adult and, furthermore, the mentat of a great house, and he is not going to meow. this issue needs to be rectified. ]

Ridiculous. [ his tone carries a high note of offense, as if he is indeed personally affected by this graceless stereotyping.

meanwhile, he raises a hand and silently waves it to catch the cat's attention. it looks up for a moment, eyes moving from his hand down to the communicator, before letting out a rather curt, irate purrr-ow. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 06:13 am UTC (link)
	[Caliborn sneers.] See. Just like that. You did it. Don't deny what is true. Meow meow. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blue_eyed
2013-03-21 06:21 am UTC (link)

[ the cat flicks an ear irritably before looking back down and busying itself with its other front foot. ] Oh, indeed; I deny nothing. It is simply this: the "meow," as you call it, is not so simplified as you believe. There are a wide variety of noises my kind can make— you are simply too daft to appreciate them.

[ that was not technically "meowing," okay. he just said the word. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	Call it what you will. But I'm pretty sure. It's more like. I don't care about your nyan culture. Even a little bit. [Caliborn insistently taps a claw on some poor nearby tree.] [What else do cats do...? OH YEAH.] Anyway. Should I throw a bone for you. To bring back to me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

blue_eyed
2013-03-22 02:10 am UTC (link)

[ ... piter is beginning to realize that caliborn has no idea what a cat actually is.

as if it understands enough to be offended, the cat gets up, turns in a circle, and plops back down with its back facing caliborn. it even gives a little lash of its bony tail. ]

Preposterous. Cats do not fetch. If anything, you will bring me an extravagant plate of meat and hand-feed it to me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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ophiuchus, 2013-03-22 02:26 am UTC

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blue_eyed, 2013-03-22 05:27 am UTC

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ophiuchus, 2013-03-22 05:30 am UTC

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blue_eyed, 2013-03-23 06:57 pm UTC

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ophiuchus, 2013-03-25 02:22 am UTC

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blue_eyed, 2013-03-30 01:04 am UTC

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