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Tweak says, "Once upon your dead body..."

Calliope // Caliborn (ophiuchus) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2013-03-11 10:49:00

Entry tags:

aradia megido, calliope-caliborn, dirk strider, helix wamtani, jade harley, jake english, korra, piter de vries, shining armor, sora himoto, spike, xander harris

[voice] ⛎ DAY 210
[A voice breaks the peace and quiet. It’s rather androgynous, rather rough from disuse, but loud and abrupt and demanding ~~and bratty~~ all the same.]

Whoa. This “crimes list” is fantastic. An outline of my accomplishments. Great and terrible. And I haven’t even done most of it yet?

But. “Cheating”? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I don’t cheat. Fix it. Put it right immediately. Maybe I’ll forget about your little “mistake.” And let you die quickly. Instead of slowly and painfully.

[And then Caliborn brushes it off, at least for now, because he has more important matters to attend to.]

Now. Where’s all my shit? Bring it to me.

I’m waiting.

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blue_eyed
2013-03-11 11:12 pm UTC (link)

[ oh, he's annoying, is he? never heard that one before! ]

Oh, dear. Have I confused you? I shall quell my loquaciousness and condense my verbose and extravagant speech just for you. Prepare to bear aural witness to a great spectacle:

[ ahem. ]

You are unintelligent. You also appear to have a speech impediment. This irritates me. Kindly refrain from breathing up the valuable air that my lungs require.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ophiuchus
2013-03-11 11:34 pm UTC (link)

[Caliborn manages somehow not to just shriek his words out. We're all very proud of this accomplishment.]

Your death will be agonizing and slow. You will scream and no one will hear you. Or come to help you. They might even celebrate.

And also. You will die knowing. Just how wrong it was. To assume all those things you just said. And that you can disregard me. And my dangerousness.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-11 11:38 pm UTC (link)
	[ piter, on the other hand, can barely manage to not laugh. this is incredibly silly. ] Am I meant to be wracked with fear of your "dangerousness?" Because I am not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-11 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	Liar. [Caliborn has returned himself to semi-smugness, because he's convinced that he now has Piter exactly where he wants him.] The time will come. When you'll bleed all over the ground. To death. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-11 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	[ well, it is now completely and utterly obvious that caliborn never would and never will possess even an ounce of truthsense, because piter definitely doesn't feel threatened at all. ] It's good to have goals... unreachable though they may be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-12 04:06 am UTC (link)
	[Caliborn will make you regret those words, Piter...!!] Hah! Keep telling yourself that. That's good. It will make the sudden onset of terror. Onto your presumably fleshy face. All the more delightful. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-13 12:54 am UTC (link)
	I've been told before that my face is actually rather bony. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-13 01:10 am UTC (link)
	[What.] Prove it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-19 05:46 am UTC (link)
	I'm afraid I've far more pertinent things to do than acquiesce to the demands of a child. It is tragic indeed, but you'll have to do without gawking at my handsome visage on this day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-19 02:49 pm UTC (link)
	[Caliborn mentally skips over the insulting crap because.] I'll show you mine. If you show me yours. [It has gone somewhere weird and he doesn't even notice.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 02:15 am UTC (link)
	I've just told you that I have matters to attend to, child. Although... [ a pause for dramatic effect. ] It could be arranged, on the condition that you show yourself first. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 03:30 am UTC (link)
	No. At the same time. Privately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 03:57 am UTC (link)
	You drive a hard bargain. [ another pause. he is turning gears within gears here. planning plans within plans. ] But it can be done, yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:07 am UTC (link)
	Hey. This is necessary. You see. My face inspires fear. In thousands. [Of Dersites. When he's a known killer/trouble-maker. But shh.] This way. You won't chicken out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:12 am UTC (link)
	Oh, yes, I'm quite sure it does. [ spoken as if talking to a child of five or six. ] But I do assure you that I've no plans to "chicken out." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:33 am UTC (link)
	Never underestimate. Your potential. For screaming and crying like a little girl. Now. Tell me how to make it private. And we'll do this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:36 am UTC (link)
	If your intellect is as great as you've claimed it to be, it should be a simple task to figure that out on your own. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:37 am UTC (link)
	[omg?!?!?!] Fuck you. I just got here. Even a genius needs time to learn a new computer?? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:41 am UTC (link)
	I disagree. Of course, I am "a genius." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 04:48 am UTC (link)
	[Caliborn growls, which is a sound that actually sounds like one rather than just a throat making a funny noise.] [But it's still high-pitched and kind of stupid sounding.] [Anyway, he bangs on the device and eventually.] [private by some miraculous happenstance] (but still voice) There. It's done. See. I am also a genius. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / audio ] blue_eyed 2013-03-21 04:55 am UTC (link)
	[ piter is keeping his end on voice for now, as well— he needs just a moment before switching over, anyway— and he actually has to take a moment to stifle silent laughter into his hand at caliborn's failure. this is all simply too much. ] See? I'm afraid I see nothing. [ a derisive "you magnificent dolt" is implied here. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / audio ] ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:00 am UTC (link)
	[Alas, as far as Caliborn is concerned, he has not failed. ONLY SUCCEEDED BEAUTIFULLY.] We have to do a count. That's the only fair way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed 2013-03-21 05:02 am UTC (link)
	[ fairness??? what is this, house atreides? ] Very well. You may do the honors. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ophiuchus 2013-03-21 05:08 am UTC (link)
	Fine. When I say "go." We activate the viewport function. Both ways. Your face. My face. Staring at each other. With our eyes. Three. Two. One. ... Go! [Holy shit look at that he actually managed to turn on the video feed. We're all so proud of you Caliborn.] [The result: a red swirl-cheeked, fluffy-eyelashed cherub glaring/smirking into the camera.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ private / video ] blue_eyed 2013-03-21 05:14 am UTC (link)
	[ it takes just a moment, but soon enough the video feed is on. caliborn is greeted by this face. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)