Ayanami Rei (firstchildren) wrote in marina_ooc, @ 2010-05-27 16:14:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | stressed |
Okay.
This is a deeply personal post. It's honestly not just to unload, though - it's to explain any upcoming slowatus/hiatus/sudden disappearance. I know these are often false alarms, but this time it's serious.
Remember how I mentioned a potential hospitalization? That's looming on the horizon again.
I have schizophrenia. Until now it's been very well controlled by medication, but now my meds are starting to fail on me. I've been severely depressed for months, and I'm beginning to exhibit symptoms of psychosis, including hallucinations and paranoia. The psychiatrist is trying to keep me out of hospital and deal with things as quickly as possible, but the downward slide is getting faster and faster and he's one of the only psychs in a large city that covers an even larger collection of smaller towns, so it's hard to say when I may need to be committed.
Along with that, my chronic sinusitis still hasn't been taken care of, and I've just lost medical coverage of the medication I use for my chronic pain. They're so expensive that I'll likely face a choice between food and no pain, and since I have to survive, there's probabaly a good deal of pain in my future. I'm throwing myself at the mercy of pharmacare and disability, but it shouldn't ever have lapsed, so it looks like they found some reason to cut it off manually. That doesn't bode well.
So life is vaguely hellish atm, and on top of all of that, my internet's been super-sketch for the past few days. So there are a lot of reasons I might be absent for the next little while, but none of them mean I've ditched on the game. I love you guys, I love this game, and I'll do everything in my power to stick around.
If you read this and haven't changed your entire opinion of me, thank you. If it caused a knee-jerk reaction of fear or repulsion, I don't blame you - it's the media's fault, not yours. Please read this, which the wonderful Casey linked, and reconsider. Read it if you're curious. In fact, just read it. It's a beautiful study of a misunderstood group of people.
- m