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Raina Maris. ([info]raina_maris) wrote in [info]manchester_rpg,
@ 2010-09-19 18:46:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
When my brain's ticking like a bomb.
Who Raina & Jack, then Desmond
What Booze fixes all the problems in the world
When Sunday night
Where By the pond
Rating R (language and sexual situations)
Status In progress



It was a dream that had Raina wanting to leave campus for the night.

Lately, most of her dreams had been dark and she woke aching, both physically and emotionally. Her mind was tired from screaming and she felt like she was spinning out of control. Last night she'd found herself in the middle of the woods. Her heart had been racing as her eyes dated around through the mass of trees that surrounded her. She could hear leaves cracking underfoot as something took a spin around the shadows. She turned to try and catch a glimpse but she just barely saw the back end of whatever it was as it disappeared once more. "Who's there?" She called out, though she didn't expect an answer.

Turning, her feet kicked up dirt as she started to run through the woods. Her body bumped into the thick tree trunks and she could feel the bruises appearing on her body. But she couldn't stop. Heart thumping, she continued to run as the creature, or whatever it was, got closer and closer to her. She head towards a clearing when the creature on her tail snagged her foot. Raina fell to the ground, feeling the dirt staining her face. Flipping herself on her back, she prepared for an attack but nothing was there. Out of breath, her eyes darted around the circle of the clearing. As she did, the trees around her started to grow crookedly, wickedly. The branches bent like fingers reaching for her menacingly.

She screamed and backed up until she could get to her feet. No sooner had she taken a step away from the reaching fingers then they had gripped her. They wrapped around her, pinning her arms at her sides as they roped around her waist. The other ones started to claw at her violently, like an animal tearing her flesh into ribbons. Blood dripped from her body until she woke up violently. Drenched in sweat, sheets tangled around her body, it took almost fifteen minutes to pull herself together and realize she'd been only dreaming. And they had been getting worse every night.

This last one had felt so real that when her eyes laid on the clock and she'd realized that she had slept all day, she decided there was really only one thing that she could do to calm the thoughts of blood and destruction.

And that was alcohol.

With a bottle of jack daniels shoved in her bag, she threw on a skirt (in the chance that she wanted to get in the water) and a tank top, followed by a pair of slip on flats. Then Raina was out the door. She didn't want to be there right now. All she wanted to feel was numb. She had been hoping that, much like what most people told her, the ache would lessen with time. She had been all but hoping that one day she would wake up and it would hurt less, even just a tiny bit, but she'd had no luck with that. Every morning hurt just as badly. What if she never recovered? She didn't want to be reckless, but she didn't want to be in pain. So she didn't waste any time getting down to the pond. Stopping beside the water, Raina sat down and pulled out the bottle of whiskey. It started with a few shots. The burning in her throat as she swallowed each shot helped, but she wanted more, needed more.

She wasn't sure how much time passed by a quarter of the bottle down, Raina was laying back on the ground, staring at the sky. She hummed to herself as she twisted the bottle open again and held it against her lips to take another sip. Her cheeks were flushed with the taste, eyes watery from the buzz.

This was definitely helping.


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[info]raina_maris
2010-09-20 04:19 am UTC (link)
There was a light breeze blowing that made the tops of the trees sway back and forth. If it weren't for the alcohol that Raina had already ingested, she was sure that she would be a little more fearful. If she squinted, the branches looked the same as they had in her dreams. She remembered every last detail of it unlike most dreams that danced through her brain as she slumbered. Usually she would wake and for the first few moments the memories of that night time frolicking would be so vivid that she could rattle off everything about it. She could tell you what she wore, where she was and every breath she took that lead her through those moments of her dream. But no sooner would she climb out of bed, pad barefoot into the bathroom and wash her face before the dream would slip out of her mind as if it had never existed.

It was these violent dreams that refused to do the same. Instead, they clung to her viciously like demonic creatures. They danced in her brain and teased her with their memories. While normally, the idea of sitting beside the water in the dark used to be relaxing, it was those dreams that made her afraid of it all. But thanks to the alcohol, she couldn't care less whether those trees came for her or not. To be honest, Raina couldn't think of a single reason why she ever ran from them in the first place. Sure the moment the branches wrapped around her was frightening, and of course it stung as the dry wood chips scraped her flesh from her bones, but she couldn't find anything, any reason, why she wanted to keep running.

It wasn't that she lost her reason for living now that her heart had been broken, but there was a deeper ache that came from it. Mix that into the soup pot that was the lack of communication between she and her parents since her sister's death, and it was a deadly concoction. Hell, the loss of her sister was Hell in and of itself. Every morning she found it hard to catch her breath until every last fiber of her being burned to life, searing with each movement she made. She desperately desired to talk to her mother again, to get advice on how to handle her life now. How to get up out of bed like she forced herself to do every day, and how to keep walking forward when all she wanted to do was hide again under the sheets. Those were things that only a mother could teach you and she didn't have hers, at least at the time being.

Who knew if that was ever going to change? Raina could hope all she wanted but that didn't change the fact that her mother was a stubborn woman and the loss of her eldest sister had killed a part of all of them. And some things, she was learning, you just never could recover from.

All that thought of her sister had her twisting the cap off again. This time she sat up a little so she didn't spill it on herself like she had the last sip she had taken. Licking the excess liquid from her lips, Raina kept her eyes on the tree tops--just in case they reached for her. She hadn't realized that she wasn't alone when she found herself humming a song that used to put her in a good mood when she was just a little girl. It was the snapping, deep voice that caught her attention. For a moment, in her inebriated state, she looked questioningly at the trees. Maybe she had slipped off into some dream somewhere during the night... maybe she would remember to not run.

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