Carol Peletier (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} notmylittlegirl) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} makebelievelog, |
It didn't mean the urge to flinch back, to not have him in her face spitting his hateful words for the moment out at her, wasn't there. She'd just grown to the point that she could control it. She needed to stand there, strong.
He was hurt. He was lashing out. And even though the name, and his words hurt, she knew that he didn't really mean all of them. "You don't mean that." The comment came out so lightly, it was barely a whisper. And it might have been more for her than him. The reminder of how hard he looked for Sophia....and how they had found out about her still hurt. It hurt every day knowing that she'd never see her daughter again. And even though he really didn't mean it, he knew where to hit in order to hurt, verbally that is. "It's what you're trying to do, isn't it?" She asked, softly. "By avoiding everyone, saying you're tired and pulling away. All of this." It hurt to think about Sophia. She had been useless for the search, though. She could look back and see it. "I didn't give up, though. You gave me hope. Back then I wasn't strong. I've made a lot of mistakes, but you have too and you're wrong." Carol wasn't ashamed to call him out. He was wrong here, in more than one way.
She stayed there, strong, standing without moving her eyes boring into his; she was burying the hurt deep inside. She wasn't going to cry. "Nobody thinks that you're a dog or a henchman except you." Carol was doing a good job of staying strong save for the watering of her eyes. "What I see is a good man who is hurt. I don't need to call on you when I need shit. I've grown, but you're there anyway because you're a part of this group and because some part of you cares even though I don't think you always want to." She re-used his words, maybe it was to make a point. He had volunteered for many of the things he did. He had put it upon himself. And she was thankful when he did things for her, she was. She just hoped that this wasn't what would change everything and force a wedge between him and her. Or him and the entire group. "I want you around because I care, not because I want to use you, but because I want you around....you mean something to me." Sometimes she doubted if he could say the same and other times she knew that she meant something to him too.