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Daryl Dixon (littledixon) wrote in makebelievelog,

A small snort, a simple sharp exhale of air through the nose, escaped Daryl’s throat as a small smile touched his lips. He had been an ass. There was no denying that. In the first 24 hours after meeting Rick, the man had put a gun to his head twice. That alone said a lot. He continued to watch the woman beside him as she tried to convince him that his younger self wasn’t a lost cause. In the back of his head, he knew that she was right, but he also knew that horror that his younger self had face. He had a pretty good idea of how he looked at the adults in his life, how he thought that all of them were just waiting for the chance to fuck him over, because that’s what adults had done to him his entire life, right?

That was just a Dixon’s life.

But he didn’t say any of this. He just let out a long breath and resisted the urge to reach for a cigarette. “Maybe you’re right,” he muttered, turning his gaze forward to stare at the rose bush in front of them instead. He wanted her to be right.

Daryl watched her hand as it came to rest on his knee, and he let out a small breath as she bumped shoulders with him. Anybody else would have gotten a knee-jerk reaction from him, but not Carol. She had become so ingrained in his life and gotten so far past his walls that he wasn’t even sure where he was supposed to be afraid anymore. He forgot that fear and instead relished in these small touches. He wondered if she knew how much they meant to him, and he failed once again to say it out loud. All he could do was lean back into her, letting their shoulders stay connected even as she righted herself.

“Then I won’t give up,” he said softly. “Long as don’t.”

He hesitated a long moment before he took the flower from her. He stared down into the yellow center and gently ran his thumbs over the petals before he let out a long, slightly shaky sigh. “If I am, it’s ‘cause of you. Y’know that, right?” He may never be able to fully express everything that he wanted to say, but he hoped that sometimes these little moments were enough.