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Padmé Amidala Skywalker (i_cannot_follow) wrote in makebelievelog,

Padmé had come to terms with what would happen, with her death and her absence in her childrens' lives. She had needed to come to peace with it. On some small level, it bothered her that she had been able to come to some sense of reconciliation with that and hadn't been able to reconcile the idea that the Republic would fall and crumble as it did, then have continuing problems. She knew that Luke and Leia would have happy lives, even if they would have to struggle and face losses of their own. She knew they would adjust and come out of it, still striving toward something better. Her ingrained training, and the emphasis from her parents to think of others first, left her feeling as though she had utterly failed an entire galaxy by unknowingly helping Palpatine's rise to power. That ate at her, even still.

Now, right then, was a moment of sadness for her and for Anakin. It wasn't a loss on Leia's part - she would be fine without them and eventually they would all meet again in whatever afterlife existed. Rather, it was their loss. However temporary or long their stay in the Land of Make Believe would be, she was no longer a part of their lives.

Padmé continued to cling to Anakin, but nodded amidst her tears. She had to accept that this was going to hurt and, at that, she was in the midst of creating a new being. Not a child to replace Leia, but a child that she and Anakin would be able to raise on their own. Her body was busy and she was emotionally overwhelmed and with unusual hormones to deal with; she needed to sit, she needed to let it out, and she needed to toward toward calming down.

"Don't leave me, Ani." She needed him there, both for the short term and the long term. She knew that he must have felt horrible as well, and that his inclination was never toward sitting for long, but she needed him there.