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Helena Wells-Quinzel is H.G. Wells (indelibleink) wrote in makebelievelog,

So many times in her life, Helena had been the strong one, had been there for Claudia and Myka when Pete and Steve had been sent home. Helena had of course felt Pete and Steve's losses as well, but she didn't know them as well as Claudia or Myka did. So in those situations, she had put her own feelings aside and stood up to be the one to hold the family together, to help guide them through as best as she could. But when it came to Myka being sent back home, Helena couldn't be the strong one. Oh she was trying so hard to not fall apart, she was trying to remain the strong one, telling herself she'd cry it out later. But as Claudia hugged her and echoed what she'd told her upon Steve's departure, that English resolve she had started melting away. But it was when her eyes fell onto the engagement ring still on her finger that the walls she'd hastily put up started to crumble back down.

Closing her eyes as she felt tears well up in them, she tried to keep them at bay as long as she could. Helena was not one who liked crying nor did she like others seeing her vulnerable. While she had cried more than once in Myka's arms, it was not something that came naturally to her. Claudia also had yet to truly see that side of her and she didn't like showing her vulnerability. Yet she couldn't deny that all she wanted to do was cry. Somewhere in the stunned haze that was her mind, Helena knew if she shut down on herself, it would throw out everything that she'd worked to build with Myka. It would be like spitting on Myka's memory to just turn around and return to the way she had been before. Myka wouldn't want that even if it would take all of Helena's resolve to not revert to locking her emotions deep within herself.

Opening her eyes again, she set her phone on the table. She drew in a slow breath as one tear began to make its way down her cheek.

"I need you," she finally responded, her voice notably weaker than it typically was. She couldn't take the thought of going through this alone, not after everything else she'd been through in her life. Shifting to better face Claudia, Helena wrapped her arms around the other woman, returning the hug that she so desperately needed but would never ask for. "I can't..." Her voice trailed off, not finishing that sentence as another tear fell, quickly followed by another. One by one, her tears were falling and with every tear that fell, her sadness and pain came more and more to the forefront where she couldn't ignore it any longer.