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Tweak says, "Always bring a banana!"

Helena Wells-Quinzel is H.G. Wells (indelibleink) wrote in makebelievelog,
@ 2013-05-14 00:31:00

Entry tags:

claudia donovan, h.g. wells

Who: Claudia and H.G.
What: Myka was sent home, H.G. is ~~in danger of going Sith~~ trying to shut down emotionally.
When: Tonight after this.
Where: The former Wells-Bering residence
Warnings: Heartbreak and feels. Possibly some cursing.

Helena had always known it was a possibility that her or Myka could be sent home at any given moment. In the back of her mind she had the nagging fear that the more solidified their relationship became, the higher the probability one of them would be sent home. The negative thought wasn't one Helena liked to think about, but she wasn't lucky when it came to maintaining happiness. Life always found ways to give her happiness and a sense of finally having the life she wanted and then ripping it all away from her. At least this time she knew Myka was alive, and was returning home to a world where Helena was dead. Or at least would be for a brief period of time before Artie used the Astrolabe. And once again, Helena was left behind as she felt her life come crashing down around her. She was left to pick up the pieces of her heart once again. This time, she doubted she could put it back together. Or perhaps more accurate was that she didn't feel like putting forth the effort into putting it back together. What good would that accomplish? It would only set her up for heartbreak again and she couldn't do this. This pain was too potent.

She truly felt that this place was cruel. She had seen Myka that morning, wishing her a good day in teaching her classes. Helena had gone about her day, doing a few things before she went to work. Things were starting to look up. Her younger self hadn't seemed to give in to anger and tried to hurt people. Myka and Helena were making their wedding plans. Helena had even selected a therapist in order to work through her pain regarding Christina. But all of that came crashing down when she'd come home from work. She hadn't initially noticed anything amiss as she'd showered to clean herself of the scents of the O, Britania Pub. When she'd come back into the bedroom clad in only a towel, that was when she'd noticed something wasn't right. When she'd opened the closet to pull out her robe, it was noticeably more empty than it had been that morning. Feeling her heart stop beating, Helena went through the dresser, but found only her clothing, none of Myka's. Then as she tried not to panic, she noticed the ring sitting on the table beside the bed. It was the engagement ring she'd given Myka.

As if in a trance, Helena walked over and slowly picked the ring up off the table and she looked at it as it sat in her palm. Myka was gone, obviously sent back home because she knew the other woman would not have just up and left without a single word beforehand. Sinking onto the bed, Helena just sat there for what seemed like an eternity. She felt the urge to cry, to scream, to demand that this place give Myka back to her, but she did none of the above. Instead, she did the worst possible thing. She began retreating into herself, locking her pain deep inside because she couldn't handle this. Not when Christina's birthday was on Thursday and she was already haunted by those memories. This was entirely too much for the Victorian woman to handle all at once.

Eventually, Helena unclasped the chain around her neck and gently slid the ring onto it, placing it beside the locket which carried a photo of Christina and a photo of Myka. She put the necklace back on, briefly pressing her hand against her chest. Drawing in a steadying breath, Helena stood up, pulled her towel off and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a sleeveless pajama top. She didn't bother to dry her hair the rest of the way, simply leaving it as being extremely damp, some strands clinging to her neck and shoulders. Moving into the sitting room, Helena found her phone and made a post about Myka being gone. Helena sunk down onto the couch and stared at her phone as though it could fix all of this. But in fact, she was staring at it to keep herself focused on people responding to her post. It would keep her from breaking down completely even though her heart was already shattered.

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clauds
2013-05-15 02:59 am UTC (link)

Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. No matter how many times the word went through Claudia's mind, as she made the dash from her room down to H.G.'s room, it didn't seem like quite enough. It became her mantra as she scrambled and, without even bothering to knock, went right into H.G.'s and shut the door behind her.

While it could be argued it wasn't a pattern, it seemed like there was a hint of a pattern starting to emerge when it came to who left. Occasionally, like with Jensen or Myka, there seemed to be a slight or notable pull-away. Getting too settled in or outright going quiet, right before the return, seemed a red flag anymore to Claudia. It worried her and, as she thought about the people she cared about in the castle, she was rather determined to send out a number of text messages in the next few days to vocalize that they were stuck with her. Even as Claudia put up walls to protect herself when she felt like she was in danger of rejection, she didn't want people to go and leave others stranded. She wanted happiness for people.

And that had included happiness for Myka and H.G., even if she had been on the emotional outs with Myka. She wanted her family to be happy. But it seemed that things were to be indefinitely postponed. So now Claudia was going to do what she could and be there for H.G. And the first move she did, amidst that, was to close the space between her and H.G.

She immediately went over to the couch and sat next to H.G. and reached to hug H.G. without so much as a greeting. It was as close as Claudia could come to a tackle-hug without risking hitting H.G.'s arms, since she had her phone in her hands.

"We are family, and we will get through this together." It was an echo of what H.G. had told her when Steve had gone. And it was equally true.

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indelibleink
2013-05-15 05:18 am UTC (link)

So many times in her life, Helena had been the strong one, had been there for Claudia and Myka when Pete and Steve had been sent home. Helena had of course felt Pete and Steve's losses as well, but she didn't know them as well as Claudia or Myka did. So in those situations, she had put her own feelings aside and stood up to be the one to hold the family together, to help guide them through as best as she could. But when it came to Myka being sent back home, Helena couldn't be the strong one. Oh she was trying so hard to not fall apart, she was trying to remain the strong one, telling herself she'd cry it out later. But as Claudia hugged her and echoed what she'd told her upon Steve's departure, that English resolve she had started melting away. But it was when her eyes fell onto the engagement ring still on her finger that the walls she'd hastily put up started to crumble back down.

Closing her eyes as she felt tears well up in them, she tried to keep them at bay as long as she could. Helena was not one who liked crying nor did she like others seeing her vulnerable. While she had cried more than once in Myka's arms, it was not something that came naturally to her. Claudia also had yet to truly see that side of her and she didn't like showing her vulnerability. Yet she couldn't deny that all she wanted to do was cry. Somewhere in the stunned haze that was her mind, Helena knew if she shut down on herself, it would throw out everything that she'd worked to build with Myka. It would be like spitting on Myka's memory to just turn around and return to the way she had been before. Myka wouldn't want that even if it would take all of Helena's resolve to not revert to locking her emotions deep within herself.

Opening her eyes again, she set her phone on the table. She drew in a slow breath as one tear began to make its way down her cheek.

"I need you," she finally responded, her voice notably weaker than it typically was. She couldn't take the thought of going through this alone, not after everything else she'd been through in her life. Shifting to better face Claudia, Helena wrapped her arms around the other woman, returning the hug that she so desperately needed but would never ask for. "I can't..." Her voice trailed off, not finishing that sentence as another tear fell, quickly followed by another. One by one, her tears were falling and with every tear that fell, her sadness and pain came more and more to the forefront where she couldn't ignore it any longer.

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clauds
2013-05-15 04:00 pm UTC (link)

Claudia went between a hug sort of person and not. She wasn't used to it, but she liked having the option to hug. It just wasn't her first instinct to go up and violate a personal space bubble; it had to be for a reason. And right then, it was for a very good reason. She was going to hug H.G. until the Victorian was tired of the hug.

"It's a very, very good thing that you're stuck with me. And you are stuck. Been here a year plus, after all." Claudia had been there the longest out of all of them. Even with her one venture back, it had been before any of the Warehouse people had arrived or left. Even as they came and went, Claudia had been left behind. She had been consecutively in the Land of Make Believe for over a year now. She didn't see that changing any time soon. "Like, stuck in the sticky string that the Warehouse has that smells like chicken." That evil, evil sticky string.

"I think the room next to me and Elena is open upstairs." Claudia said after a minute, "Even if all of the rooms are the same and stuff - what would you think about moving upstairs? You can pop over to our place, I can pop over to yours, and less mental cobwebs around. Clear space." It had been a space that she had shared with Myka, after all. "Plus, better view. Kinda."

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indelibleink
2013-05-15 10:38 pm UTC (link)

Despite her maternal instincts, hugging was not Helena's initial reaction most of the time. Sometimes it was when those she loved the most were hurting, but she never just went up and hugged people. She had a propensity for invading personal space, mostly Myka's, but that was different than hugging. But right now, Helena was grateful for the hug. It was what she needed, and she wasn't pulling back from it. It was comforting.

"I am more than content to be stuck here with you." Of course, it'd be immensely nicer if Helena still had Myka there, but this wasn't the first time she'd lost someone she'd loved. This wasn't even the first time she'd been separated from Myka, though at least this time around the separation wasn't caused by her attempt at world destruction. "Something tells me I would rather be stuck in the sticky string than I would the rigging rope from the Mary Celeste." Unless the sticky string also acted like a constrictor and would eventually kill you like the rigging rope.

At the suggestion of moving rooms, Helena's initial thought was not to move. She could at least still have Myka's pillow here that undoubtedly still smelled like her. But Helena quickly caught herself. That was how it had started after Christina. How many hours had she sat in Christina's room still expecting her to return home? She had left the room exactly as it had been the day Christina had left for Paris, and after her daughter's death, Helena had not let anyone touch that room. Perhaps it was the haunting memories that initially set her on the dark path that would eventually end with the Minoan Trident in her hands, one strike away from destroying the world when Myka had stopped her. She couldn't go down that path again, Myka wouldn't want her to.

"That would be a good idea, I think. I think I will do that." She sniffed softly, her mind starting to drift again. The Victorian woman had more than enough ghosts haunting her already, she shouldn't add Myka's to it when she didn't have to.

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clauds
2013-05-16 07:36 pm UTC (link)

"The sticky string smelled like chicken. And it was, most definitely, not fun for the whole family." Claudia said with a faint smile, still hugging H.G. as they chatted and as H.G. cried. Really, it was better that H.G. was crying. "It's one of those artifacts where it's a question of what circumstances could lead to an artifact birth as weird as that."

"I'll bring home some boxes from work tomorrow, okay? I'll text the mini, too, to arrange the deets with her." Claudia could do emergency prep/coping mode. She could most definitely do that. It was what a Warehouse agent had to be able to do and, even if she was growing and maturing away from the Warehouse, she was still making progress in that regard.

"It'll be okay. It might take awhile, but - it'll be okay." Claudia reassured, or tried to reassure. Her mind was on Steve and what he might say under these circumstances. That was what prompted her next thought. "Do you want some tea?"

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indelibleink
2013-05-16 09:35 pm UTC (link)

"I do not think I wish to know what circumstances that artifact was born from." Of course, Helena had come into contact with some strange artifacts like that in her time as an agent. Still, it wasn't exactly something one should think about too much, especially when it came to the origins of the extremely strange artifacts.

"Thank you, I do appreciate that." It wasn't going to be easy moving rooms, especially now that Myka was gone and it was uncertain whether she'd see her here again. Of course she knew the possibility was there, but the chances of Myka remembering having been here were a bit slimmer. Some remembered, some did not. Helena was willing to bet that if Myka showed up here again, she wouldn't remember her experience here. It was how things worked in Helena's life, after all.

"Yes, I do." Tea was a necessity right now. Though really Helena wanted something stronger than tea, but she would stick to the non-alcoholic end of things right now. "The engagement ring I gave her got left here," she said after a moment. And saying it out loud only caused her tears to increase. It was indeed best that Helena was crying, she was letting herself feel even if all she wanted to do was put her walls back up and keep everyone out. She knew things would be okay again. She had lived without Myka for the majority of her extended life, she could learn how to accept the current situation.

But that was the trick. Helena had taken one hundred and twenty years to accept Christina's death, and she was still in the attempting to accept it stage. Acceptance was not something Helena came by easily, though she had long accepted that her life wouldn't give her a happy ending. Even the whole Warehouse agent track record for quality and length of life aside, people like Helena rarely found and kept happiness. And for Helena, happiness had come in small patches. She would need to learn to just live with a broken heart because she highly doubted it could be put back together.

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