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Padmé Amidala Skywalker (i_cannot_follow) wrote in makebelievelog,

Padmé tried, a good deal of the time, to be in tune with what Anakin might need. She loved her husband and she wanted him to be happy. She knew that the Jedi Order had ingrained so many things into his mind as he was growing up, telling him what to believe and what made him a good Jedi. She knew that a number of these things were, at core, psychopathic. Lack of good feelings, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships; they were supposed to become a social conscience with pure utter moral responsibility without a concept of what made those details matter. The Jedi's policies and the Jedi Council were a swirl of extreme egocentricity and, watching the movies and even the smallest amount of the TV show, made that blatant.

But dealing with this had taken it out of an already moderately worn down Padmé. She had needed to take some time, after the morning she had initially woken up next to Anakin, to wrap her mind around things. The idea that her husband might permanently be notably older than her, ages above Padmé in life experiences and knowing their child and knowing far more than Padmé could ever hope to learn from books, left her worried. The idea that Anakin's younger counterpart was expecting with the younger Helena, that there might be a half-sibling for the child she was currently expecting, and that child could be walking around the castle halls at the same time -

It was a good deal that had changed within a few days. But, as it was, Padmé was trying to adjust. She was, currently, trying to focus on her desire for things to be opened again with her husband. They were supposed to know each other. He had 28 years to get to know her, to learn through the experiences that marriage brought. He had all those years to get to know himself more as well.

"I am." Work hadn't been too taxing, as part of it had been discussing concepts of awareness and the goal being to get away from assailants, not to become a warrior who could beat someone up. Teaching self-defense was as much talking as it was teaching techniques.

"Do you want to take a walk, or do you want to sit and talk here?" Padmé decided to give the options to Anakin. Her tone suggested she was open to suggestions, if Anakin had any specific desires. She was going to be open about her intent in talking, all the same. "I'd like to talk about you, at least a little, if you wouldn't mind."