Grantaire (unhookingstars) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2019-11-03 14:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, !open, castiel (heyassbutt), ~2019 november, ~25 points, ~~grantaire (unhookingstars) |
Who: Grantaire and open
Where: The park
When: Early hours of the morning
What: Melancholia and drinking
Rating: Low, reference to drinking as a coping mechanism which should surprise no one
Status: Open | Incomplete
Looking back with the twenty twenty vision of hindsight, maybe he should have stopped drinking a little sooner. But hindsight had never been a friend of his. Whereas excess had been a close companion for a long time now, keeping him company when he otherwise felt alone. Why he still managed to feel so alone when he and Enjolras had just bought a house together, when Enjolras had told him he loved him? That was the part he couldn't understand. Why shouldn't that be enough to make him happy?
Making excuses and drinking until he felt numb had always been his remedy of choice. It was easier than asking questions on a loop in his head and feeling worse the longer he went without answers. Eventually even Lou's had to close, though, and he found himself without a place to sit and feel sorry for himself, and most importantly, without a drink.
Bars closing, or being kicked out of them, was hardly a new experience. But not having another one to stumble into was different. And he wasn't ready to go home, yet. Enjolras would have his disapproving frowny face on. And much as he liked every version of that face, he wasn't ready to see that one just yet. Enjolras might not have meant it, but it made Grantaire feel so very small.
The park seemed a reasonable alternative. It was almost like home. If you ignored all the lights. You could never completely get away from all the lights in this place. It did have a comfortable enough bench seat to collapse onto, though. And some interesting trees. He thought he might like to come back here another time and paint them, with their strange twisting limbs. They seemed to be reaching out to someone. Him, perhaps. Though what they wanted he couldn't say.