tucker (bowchickawow) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2019-04-19 17:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !log, ~2019 april, ~25 points, ~~lavernius tucker (bowchickawow), ~~peter quill (12percentplan) |
Who: L. Tucker and Peter Quill
When: April 16th [Slightly Backdated!]
Where: Right At Home
What: Watercooler talks
Warnings: Yes
Status: Closed/In-Progress (TBC in comments!)
Something that Tucker enjoyed about working at Right At Home was being able to wow and amaze the elderly that were there. It did wonders for his pride, which was something he was in desperate need of after the whole debacle with Church and Charlie.
His face still stung even if she hadn’t hit him all that hard. Tucker understood the awkwardness of the situation. He also saw the amusement in it, too. It was just the kind of guy he was. Both Charlie and Church, in Tucker’s opinion, were overreacting.
Grabbing a cup of coffee, he gave Peter a nod in greeting sipping at the hot beverage. “Yo.”
***
“Well if it isn’t Tucker.” Peter liked working for Right At Home for kind of the same reasons that Tucker did. He liked the old people, and amusing them and the way the old ladies and some of the old dudes could be funny and crazy flirts when he was being himself. It was like a really weird social game where you also bought groceries and did yard work or gave people a ride to an appointment.
He had his own coffee and was leaning back in a chair with his feet up while he drank it. He liked Tucker, the guy was pretty uncomplicated and funny. “How’s tricks?”
***
“Super lame, man.” He took another drink of his coffee before joining Peter at the table. “I mean, it’s not too terrible, but -- fuck. Do you know how much it sucks to get slapped after you haven’t been slapped for a while?”
That statement alone spoke volumes. Tucker didn’t necessarily get slapped, but he certainly was on the receiving end of punches more often than not.
“Chicks. They’re so damn complicated. Like, why can’t they just be chill, you know?”
***
“Well I haven’t been slapped that often. I mean I got stabbed with a fork and someone tried to de-thorax me once.” Peter chuckled because those were scars he wore with pride even though every girl he ever knew rolled her eyes at him and thought he was stupid for it. “What? Did you skip out without the cuddling afterward? Because I have noticed that really pisses most of them off.” It was definitely why he got stabbed with the fork.
***
“De-thorax? What the hell, Quill? The hell kind of women are you associating yourself with?” That was definitely extreme, but as terrifying as it sounded, Tucker was equally interested. It must have been one hell of a woman and Peter instantly got a slew of cool points in Tucker’s book.
“No. It wasn’t even at the cudding part. It was a god damn kiss! Well, not my kiss. More like I gave my buddy AI friend the okay to take the wheel for a bit so he could actually make a move with his AI girlfriend.”
Tucker rolled his eyes and shook his head.
***
“She was Kree, they’re really fucking strong and she thought I was cheating on her. I was the only Terran up there so there was a lot of human and humanoid-alien sex. It was all Captain Kirk action without the really lame toupee.” Peter laughed and waggled his eyebrows at Tucker before he took a drink of coffee.
Okay the conversation was getting interesting and he actually put his feet down to lean forward and pay more attention. “Okay wait. You were letting your AI friend use you like a sex toy for his girlfriend? Dude.”
***
“Listen, man. I know. I know how it sounds. I kind of owed him, but he’s definitely getting an earful when he stops hiding.” It wouldn’t be terrible, though. Mocking, yes. That’s what Tucker did, but he wasn’t about to get angry with Church. He had offered after all.
“It’s weird, right? Like, this girl? Looks like an actual human. Everything, man. But she’s a goddamn robot! It’s the freakiest shit I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen some freaky shit.”
Tucker sat up a bit more, clearly interested in the conversation as well.
“I mean, she’s hot, so it wouldn’t be terrible.”
***
“Well, okay that’s kind of weird. But I mean my dad was a planet, kind of, so it’s all relative on the weird scale.” Peter had been connected to it but it still was hard for him to wrap his head around the idea of everything a Celestial was. He was glad the vision of Eternity had mostly slipped out of his head after he’d lost connection to it. Eternity was too much to see all the time.
“So the lady robot, AI is hot. That’s a bonus if there’s going to be kissing and things. I mean I’d be okay with that probably. Okay wait, you said he took the wheel and it was his girlfriend so why did you get slapped? Didn’t you guys warn her he was taking you for a test drive?” He could see that getting people slapped.
***
“The fuck? Your Dad was a planet? How the fuck does that even happen?” That sounded like Caboose logic. Then again, Tucker did have an alien kid who played basketball.
“Nevermind. You get a pass on that one but only because of my kid.” Definitely a discussion for another time as Tucker was certain it would come around again. Peter seemed like the type to ask and Tucker was the type to respond. Especially when it came to talk about himself.
“It’s a definite bonus! But, no? I don’t think we warned her? No. We didn’t. Definitely did not warn her. We just decided to try it.” Tucker made a face. “And that sounds all sorts of fucked up, but just go with me okay? So, AI buddy - Church in case you run into him on the network - can tap into these neural implants I have. Actually, I’m pretty sure the little shit can tap into anyone’s implants, but whatever. Weird AI stuff. Anyway, I was like sure dude! Why the hell not? He’s been an AI for too long and it’s clear there’s some weird robot science connection. It was going great! I mean they were both awkward as hell, but she totally came in and made the first move! Next thing I know, he’s freaking out and she’s slapping me. Total mood ruiner, man.”
***
“And I’m not sure how your kid weighs into that but okay.” Peter made a dubious face but he was going to let the kid thing go now. He would definitely ask about that at some point though.
“Church...I think maybe I’ve seen him. Kinda mouthy?” That was saying a lot if Peter was saying it about someone. Well, maybe not he was also really judgemental of other people even if he was just as bad or worse than they are. “So that was really hard to follow, just saying, but sounds like it was interesting. So is that going to happen every time if you let him hijack you to play with his girlfriend?”
***
“Kinda? No. Mouthy all the damn time. He doesn’t know anything else.” Which wasn’t entirely true, but Tucker believed he wasn’t wrong either. Church definitely had a way about him and always had for as long as he could remember.
Letting out a puff of air, Tucker sat back with a shrug. “Who the hell knows? I don’t think she’s actually his girlfriend. I just say that to piss him off, which it does, and then usually gives Wash and Carolina a headache.” Giving Carolina any reason to be angry was never a good thing, though. “Besides, Carolina was kind of grumpy about it, so I’m not touching anything any time soon. They want to play around? He can ask Wash or something. Or, who the fuck knows -- maybe figure out a way to sext.”
***
“You realize you have a life going on that would totally work as the story line for an alien soap opera.” Yes, they were a thing. Other planets were just as shallow and weird as Earth was thanks. “In fact I kind of want to keep a record of it and sell it to someone because I bet it would be a good soap opera on Earth too.”
“Who’s Carolina and why is she so grumpy? She wasn’t the girlfriends was she?”
***
"Just remember who gave it to you. Fifty percent. No, seventy-five percent." If he had to live and suffer through it all, Tucker would definitely want the bigger payout option.
"Hell no! No. Definitely not the girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, though. Carolina is hot, too. But she could kill me in seconds, so I know better." Plus there was York and Wash. "She has a boyfriend, too. He's a decent guy. Friends with another friend of mine. Washington? He's cool. I'm pretty sure she's grumpy because she has Church in her implants most of the time when Wash doesn't. It gives you one hell of a headache, too. I don't know. There are probably other reasons. Maybe that time of the month? Girls are just so damn weird."