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Lydia Martin (drawntodeath) wrote in madisonvalley,

How was she supposed to answer a question like that? No she wasn't okay. She'd been a prostitute who had made the mistake of falling in love with a client no one was allowed to know existed. Still couldn't tell anyone because that wouldn't be fair to him. He had his own life and Lydia didn't want to cause any trouble in it. Gibbs had never done anything but be nice, never given even the slightest indication that he might look at her the way the other version of him had looked at the other version of her and despite that never actually happening, Lydia missed it. She missed the affection in his eyes and lying in his arms and his hands on her skin.

He wasn't helping anything by looking as concerned about her as he did. It only made her want to step into his arms and be comforted by the steady beat of his heart, only made her want to look into his eyes and see affection for her and not even mind that she would only ever wonder if that fondness had become love. That wasn't something she could ask, even if she wanted to know. Even if it would only hurt more if she did.

Lydia smiled, made herself do it, and just nodded. "You can by me a cup of coffee," she allowed as though the offer had actually been made. "I have a little bit of time."

And she couldn't quite make herself walk away from him yet. She wondered how long it would take until she that faded and she could look at him without feeling that affection or wanting more than they had or were ever going to have here.