Bucky Barnes (notzimniysoldat) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2018-09-27 14:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !log, [plot] wild wild west, ~2018 september, ~25 points, ~~bucky barnes (notzimniysoldat), ~~steve rogers (neverdanced) |
WHO Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes
WHAT Delivering dinner
WHEN Thursday evening
WHERE Sheriff's Office
WARNINGS just feels
STATUS Closed | Complete gdoc
It was uncommon for Bucky to be in town, Steve knew that. He must’ve come in for Kate. Steve had his girls working longer and harder than usual, patrolling town in pairs and seeing every person was somewhere safe. He had a couple of solid leads, had someone on those too. It was just him left at the station, standing on the porch with a lamp burning by the doorway, when he saw the familiar form approaching.
How had Bucky come to be familiar to him? A week ago they’d been little more than strangers. Tonight they were friends like they’d always been, and just seeing him coming down the road made Steve’s heart soar in a way he couldn’t even try to put words to. Wrong as it was, it was like a piece of him had been missing, taken up living in that man. Which was what had Steve meeting him at the foot of the stairs before he could even think to stop himself from doing it.
“What’re you doing in town?” he asked quietly. “Kate didn’t send word she’d be staying tonight?”
He’d asked everyone to tell their loved ones, if they had any, to reassure them that they’d be working, didn’t want any families thinking their girls were missing or wore. It had been especially important that Kate do it; Steve couldn’t bear the idea of making Bucky worry unnecessarily.
***
When Bucky had heard the news of another death that occured while they'd been camping, he knew he needed to keep his distance and just be supportive however he could. Kate had let him know she'd be staying in town tonight in the search for the man who'd been murdering women. Being supportive was something Bucky could do well and tonight, that meant preparing a meal for the Sheriff and his deputies. It had been a bit of a bitch, cooking everything with only one hand. Well worth it though, since he knew the value of a home cooked meal.
He'd made a stew using one of his Ma's recipes and bought bread from the baker after he'd made his way into town. It didn't take all that much longer to make his way to the Sheriff's office, cart towed behind him. Bucky'd walked the whole way, unsure of how it would travel with a horse. It had taken longer, but that was alright. It was for a good cause, anyhow.
To be greeted by Steve wasn't entirely a surprise, and he quirked a smile. "She did," Bucky confirmed as he stepped aside so his cargo was in view. "Thought I'd bring dinner for everyone, somethin' that could keep well enough into tomorrow." If they took shifts or would be up all night, at least they'd have something to pick at as they got hungry. "It ain't much but better'n sandwiches."
And he'd been worried after the Sheriff's state of mind. He worried a great deal, and no doubt felt guilty as anything for not being in town to prevent the latest murder in the first place.
***
That was so far from what Steve had assumed, he was stunned silent for a beat, blinking at the cart before breaking out into a smile like no one had been able to get out of him since he and Bucky had parted ways.
“That’s a real nice thought,” he complimented. “Sure the girls’ll all appreciate it when they make their way back here.” He expected each and every one of them sooner or later, before sunup at least. It was going to be a long night for all of them, but if their plans panned out at all, it would be worth it and with a little luck and God’s good graces they’d all be able to take a well deserved day or two of rest soon enough. His team of hard working deputies deserved at least that much, when he’d abandoned them and the town he’d sworn to protect, only to come home to another murdered woman.
“You can go on and pop it inside if you like.” He wouldn’t offer any help unless it was asked for. He’d learned Bucky to be independent enough and plenty too stubborn about doing things with just one hand. Steve respected that in him. He’d dare say he was charmed by it. Someone nearly as stubborn as he was wasn’t easy to find.
***
Bucky grinned broadly when he realized he'd rendered Steve speechless. He would enjoy that for a bit, to be certain. He was a bit surprised to hear that the other man was alone, but perhaps that would allow him to inquire about the blond's state of mind. At the offer to bring it inside, Bucky nodded and dropped the handle of his cart before he moved to the side so he could get the pot.
With his arm, he curled around the pot to get a secure grip and then carefully stood up. It hurt a bit because the pot was still warm, but he didn't let it show. Instead, he headed inside and just as he crossed the threshold into the station, he turned to Steve. "Well, go on an' grab the bread, would'ya?" He appreciated that Steve was letting him do it on his own, but he wasn't going to pass on giving him some shit. Especially if they were mostly on their own. Sure, there were plenty of people around, but not one was overhearing them without it being obvious.
Once he was inside, he determined the best place to put the stew was on the counter and carefully did so. Then he turned to the Sheriff and glanced at the door just to make sure no one was nearby enough to overhear.
"You doin' alright?" he asked quietly, knowing he had no right to ask but wanted to all the same.
***
With a low chuckle, Steve just did as he was told, fetching the bread and moving the cart against the boardwalk while he was at it, followed Bucky inside, wound up lingering in the doorway watching him move, he was graceful in a way a lot of men weren’t, and in the low light of the few lamps lighting the office, he was downright beautiful. How Steve had come to be so lucky as to be able to spend any time at all with the man, he didn’t know.
Following the glance to the door quickly, he closed it behind himself and went to set the bread down beside the stew, considering his words before he answered. He wanted to be able to say he was just fine, that there was work being done and that they were close. It wasn’t all true, though, and he knew in his heart he didn’t have to lie to Bucky. Not to him of all people. So Steve just sighed softly, shook his head.
“I’ll be better when this is done.” He didn’t know why he felt so comfortable admitting his weakness to this man, but it was nice to have someone to tell, someone he felt like was never going to judge him for it or wouldn’t be frightened to see the sheriff hesitating like he was. “I got something good from one of the ladies over at the brothel that might pan out, at least.” He’d gotten a lot of good from multiple ladies at the brothel since their camping trip, but for some reason it didn’t feel right to tell Bucky so.
***
Having the door closed gave them a fair bit more privacy, but Bucky stayed where he was because he knew there was only so much he could get away with here. He was grateful Steve didn't try to put on a front, didn't try to pretend everything was alright or anything like that. It told him just how much the blond trusted him. What he'd done to earn that trust, he wasn't sure.
"You'll find who's behind all this," Bucky replied, so sure and confident because he believed that Steve wouldn't ever give up on finding justice for the victims. Even the women at the brothel, the sort of folk most people wouldn't fuss over for too long. "An' then maybe you'll stop blaming yourself for Ms Luthor." It was a guess, but an educated one. He'd learned on their camping trip that Steve was the sort of man who felt the weight and responsibility of his badge to the fullest.
And, figuring the Sheriff hadn't eaten yet, grabbed a mug from by their coffee maker and ladled out some stew. Without a word, Bucky handed it to the other man, and his expression said he fully expected the man to eat.
***
There wasn’t a single chance in Hell that Steve was ever going to stop carrying the weight of Ms Luthor’s death. That one had stung the worst. He’d stepped away from his post for only two nights and she was the one who had paid the price. The others, he could at least tell himself he’d been there, been hunting for the man picking them off, but not this time. This time he’d been sitting fireside wrapped up in Bucky and doing the sorts of things he oughtn’t want to be doing.
At least he was even more convinced now than he had been when he’d said the words that it was only Bucky. The only man that Steve had any sorts of feelings like that for and he still liked women plenty.
Shoulders slumping a little, he shook his head and took the mug of stew, purposefully grazing his fingers against Bucky’s as he did. It was a dangerous position they were in, right in the sheriff’s station with windows into the street and any of the deputies likely to come back any time. It would be too easy to be caught. Despite which, Steve couldn’t help himself.
“Thanks,” he said softly, the smallest of smiles lifting the corners of his lips. He didn’t have much of an appetite tonight, but there was no turning away a look like he was getting.
***
"I'm worried about you," Bucky admitted honestly. It meant a lot to him that Steve would risk running their hands together however briefly, but there was more to this than just the physical attraction he felt. There was also the emotional connection, one that grew stronger with each interaction. Bucky was worried that Steve would work himself to exhaustion and sickness, and if that were to happen before the killer was caught and brought to justice, that could mean something terrible.
"Ms Luthor wasn't your fault, Steve." He understood that the Sheriff would carry that guilt regardless, but someone needed to say it to him. "It was the killer's fault, an' it mighta still happened whether you were here or not." Bucky ordinarily would've tried to sugarcoat it a little, but Steve was in a headspace right now that he wasn't sure how well it would be received. He was gentle in how he spoke to the other man though, keeping it simply to the facts instead of getting overly emotional about it.
***
“Still should’a been here,” Steve pointed out, sighed and went to perch on the corner of his desk with his stew. “This is my job.” What was he good for if he wasn’t sticking around to do it? What good was him making promises to keep people safe that he couldn’t keep?
“But I’m nothing for you to worry about, Buck.” It just felt natural to shorten his name, Steve barely registered that he was doing it. “You’re right that we’ll get him and things’ll get back to normal.” He’d always carry a little more doubt, though, always be a little more cautious, and a little more hesitant to go on the camping trips he still very much wanted to go on. He did still want, more than just about anything, to go out into the wilderness where they could be well and truly in private and start to explore this thing that had developed between them in the blink of an eye.
Steve had never connected with anyone so quickly. The closest he could think of was Darcy at the brothel, and that wasn’t exactly the kind of connection most men would want to brag about. Not that what he had brewing with Bucky was.
***
"An' you got a whole team behind you," he countered, not taking any of that crap because he knew there wasn't any way one man could police a whole town all on his own. That was the whole point of having a team of deputies behind him, especially the talented, capable women that made up this office. Bucky waited a beat before he followed Steve over to his desk and leaned up against it.
"It's somethin' for me to worry about if it's gonna affect our future camping trips," he pointed out quietly. It had been on his mind since he'd heard the news, but he wasn't selfish enough to intrude on the Sheriff's time, at least not until that particular moment. The nickname hadn't gone unnoticed. In fact, he'd hoped that meant that they'd still be able to follow their plan of going back out after the case was wrapped up.
***
With a laugh that was more startled than amused, Steve leaned over enough to bump his shoulder against Bucky. “I’m still planning on those if you’ll still have me.”
Maybe not as frequent as he’d like, not as long as he’d prefer, and he might want to say no once in a while if this was going to be the sort of town he protected, the kind he couldn’t leave, but he did still want to go, didn’t think he’d be able to say no for too long if he did. Not with what he knew was was waiting for him out there. What he knew they wouldn’t be able to have right there in town.
Despite knowing it was dangerous, he reached out and put his hand against Bucky’s knee. “I need you to know I’m gonna want to head out with you no matter what happens.”
***
It was a relief to know that Steve still wanted to explore what was going on between them. He knew well enough that there would be no interfering with the Sheriff's job in town, he just hoped that there wouldn't be too much guilt added to those broad shoulders. There would be enough guilt for indulging in intimate behavior with one of his deputy's husbands and he feared that if more got piled on, it might make things too much to bear. The only good thing in his life was Kate, before they'd gone camping. He didn't want to lose either of the good parts of his life.
He brought his hand to cover Steve's for just a moment. It was too dangerous for anything more than that. "Good," he replied a little gruffly. This was important and it showed in his tone and expression. Maybe more important than it needed to be or should be, but it was important to him to explore this. There wasn't anyone else he wanted to explore it with and if he lost Steve, he worried he'd never get the chance again.
Bucky cleared his throat and gestured to the stew. "Come on then. Eat up. Slaved all day over a hot stove, you know."
***
“You really didn’t have to go through the trouble,” Steve protested but did as he was told and tucked into the stew. As he’d expected, it was pretty good. Bucky had a hand for the simple stuff, that much he’d learned during their two nights in the wilderness. There was a lot more he’d like to learn, and being there, alone with the other man, only reminded him of that.
It was easier, he realized, when they were apart to pretend like it was just a touch of infatuation, that there was nothing serious brewing, that maybe what had happened between them was just the campfire and the cool night air. Seeing him again, sitting beside him again, in the warmth of the office and the dim light of oil lamps, all those same feelings were back with a vengeance and there was no question they were there for real.
He didn’t say anything more while he ate, polished off the cup in almost no time at all. It hadn’t dawned on him to eat much and he probably wouldn’t have if Bucky hadn’t come along. Setting the cup down on the desk, he looked to the man beside him.
“I’m real glad you came into town tonight,” he admitted. “Might’ve been I needed to see you.” That was probably too soft a thing to be saying so soon after they’d only really met a few days ago, but there it was.
***
It was good to see Steve eating, better to see him finish it, and Bucky watched quietly so he wouldn't distract him. He had a feeling it was hard to get the Sheriff to do anything so he was going to politely take his win and then probably go on his way. If he lingered too long, there was an increased risk of someone discovering them in a compromising situation. Neither one of them could afford that.
"If you only eat when you're with me, we've got bigger problems," he pointed out with a half grin. Bucky knew full well that wasn't what Steve meant, but it was easier to deflect because he really wanted to lean in and kiss the other man. That certainly was out of the question, as was wrapping his arm around him. It wasn't his place to comfort or reassure the blond and indulging that would only get them in trouble.
"I hope it helps, though. 'm not one for sittin' around twiddling my thumbs," he joked. It was really nice to see Steve though, to know that even though he regretted not being in town to save Ms Luthor, he didn't regret going camping.
***
Trouble or no trouble, a moment of comfort and a kiss or two was exactly what Steve wanted. All the more when Bucky kept smiling like that, joking and trying to make him feel better about the situation. Whatever he felt, it definitely wasn’t influenced by anything but the man himself and Steve still thought he should probably be more bothered than he was. He knew, was pretty sure, that he wasn’t like that. It was just Bucky, something about him that he’d need a lot longer to pin down than he had.
“It does a lot,” he assured, paused for a moment before standing again and tilting his head toward the back of the station. “Let me show you something.”
There was nothing to see but a corner the light didn’t quite reach, but what Steve wasn’t saying aloud he said with his eyes, an invitation clear as anything but giving the chance for Bucky to go the other way if he was overstepping. He had no idea where the line he might be crossing lie, could only guess.
***
Bucky tilted his head curiously when Steve stood and gestured toward the back of the station. It took him a moment to put two and two together, but when he did, he looked at the Sheriff questioningly. Did he really want to risk this? Someone could walk in on them at any moment. That person very well could be Kate, or the Mayor, or God only knew who else.
He should say no. He knew he should, but he didn't want to. He wanted to follow Steve into the darkened corner of the Sheriff's Station and hold him close for a few minutes. Even if a few minutes was all they could have right now. Bucky cleared his throat and nodded as he shifted from where he'd been leaning against Steve's desk.
Following Steve was something he'd do easily really, no matter the risk involved. It was a weird thing to realize, but once they were situated in the dark recesses of the back corner, partially hidden from view and crowded against one another, he felt like he could breathe again. "You sure about this?" he whispered, even as his hand came to rest on Steve's hip.
***
They’d already established that neither one of them knew what was good for him and Steve had always been one to take risks. He just led the way into the dark corner, well out of sight of the windows, easy enough to dart out of should someone come walking in. It was all sorts of dangerous and he shouldn’t be putting Bucky on the line like he was, but Steve wasn't nearly as selfless as he sometimes seemed. They just had to be careful not to get too wrapped up in each other that they missed what was happening around them.
“Shut up and just keep your ears open for anyone coming.” His hand immediately came up to curl gently against Bucky’s head, leaning in to kiss him again before there was the chance for more questions or any second guessing. Being with the other man like this had done wonders to clear his head before, had wound up putting all kinds of new stuff into it when they’d parted ways again but for a few hours he’d been at peace, and ready to face the trouble in town with fresh eyes.
He needed that again. And as much as he knew he should resist his urges this time, send Bucky on his way, he couldn’t resist a few stolen moments.
***
Bucky could admit that he liked it when the other man took charge and smiled as Steve kissed him. He kept some of his attention on their surroundings but devoted most of his focus to returning the kiss. His hand tightened on the other man's hip as he lifted his stump to sort of rest on his shoulder. It wasn't something he thought all that much about because it was more about giving in to the feelings swirling around him.
He felt content in the moment, even with the risk of someone discovering them. It was important to him that their connection was more than a physical one, but the physical side definitely wasn't bad at all. Bucky knew they needed to be careful, to not go too far, so he made sure to keep their waists separated to at least ease some of that. He still remembered how it felt to have Steve's arms wrapped around him, waking up like that.
Bucky broke the kiss in an attempt to catch his breath and let his forehead rest against Steve's. "Anyone ever tell ya how good you are at that?" Damn. It was going to be hard to stop when the time came.
***
He’d been right, and kissing Bucky had been exactly what he’d needed to get a hold of himself again. Steve was very aware of everything going on in his head and his heart calming down to focus only on the man there with him. For a few moments he could forget about the threat chasting down his town and the complications of what he was feeling, the danger of the two of them being caught and even that Bucky was married to someone who was quickly becoming a good friend to Steve.
With a laugh that was barely more than a gust of air, he closed his eyes and let his weight lean into Bucky just a little when he broke away to press their foreheads together. They’d come back to exactly that so many times that night when they were camping, smiling and talking between kissing and there might not be much between about it tonight but it was a comforting feeling. He was in real trouble with this guy here. “I might’ve heard that from the ladies down the street a time or two.”
He hadn’t thought to mention the fact that he’d been to the brothel to Bucky, ever, there didn’t seem a reason to, but there was none not to either. It wasn’t as if a man visiting was anything to be ashamed of, and he didn’t want to keep any part of himself hidden when they were together.
***
Bucky could admit to being a little jealous about the fact that there were a few women who knew just how good of a kisser Steve was, but he brushed it off fairly quickly. There wasn't any reason to be jealous when he had his wife to go home to and they'd been able to actually be intimate with one another because of his camping trip with Steve.
"Glad I can count myself among the enlightened," Bucky teased, but instead of letting Steve answer, he kissed him again instead. This time, he deepened the kiss even though it was probably incredibly ill advised. There were so many reasons not to and he was quickly realizing that those reasons didn't mean anything at all to him when he was barely six inches away from the Sheriff.
"I should probably go before we get ourselves in trouble," he murmured a few minutes later when the surfaced for air again. He really, really didn't want to, though.
***
It was all too easy to just sink into kissing again, far too difficult to pull away again. It was a bad sign, they were going to wind up carried away and in a heap of trouble if they weren’t more careful, and knowing there was a very large part of him that didn’t care, it was actually something of a relief when Bucky pulled away to suggest leaving.
“Yeah,” he breathed, made no move to actually pull away. “Day after all this is done, I’ll pay you a visit, alright?” If it didn’t resolve soon, he might need to do it sooner, but Steve was feeling a little more optimistic after Bucky’s faith in him. Fingers gently threading through Bucky’s hair, he offered a teasing smile. “Gotta give you one night with your wife back before I steal you off into the night again.”
It would give him something to look forward to, a very personal goal to keep him from losing faith. Steve couldn’t think of anything he’d like more than to whisk Bucky away somewhere isolated and private even if it was just for a few hours. Even if he only got to wrap the other man up in his arms and take a minute to just breathe again.
***
"Yea," he replied, but he didn't nod and he didn't pull away. This was going to be real bad, would probably blow up in their faces sooner or later. Bucky was vehemently hoping it was later. Much, much later. He leaned in for another kiss, unable to help himself. When he caught himself about to deepen it, Bucky forced himself to take a step back.
"Alright, I'm gonna go but I'll stick around in town for a bit," he decided as he smoothed his shirt a bit with his hand. It was really just because he was worried if he left his hand free, he'd reach for Steve again and they needed distance.
"Good luck," Bucky wished softly, the emotion he felt for the other man clear as the night sky. He cleared his throat and took another couple of steps toward the door. "Just holler if I can help, alright?" Bucky wouldn't be any help, but he had to offer.
***
There was a sudden tightness in Steve’s chest that he recognized only too well. He got the same feeling when his favourite girl was just a little more sweet to him than usual, always prompted the familiar joke that was never wholly a joke of asking her to marry him. Steve recognized it as trouble but there was nothing he wanted to do to stop it. He was falling hard and he was falling fast.
“I will,” he promised softly, kept his distance rather than showing Bucky out, knowing that he couldn’t without losing control and there was a marked difference between kissing softly in a dark corner and not being able to keep their hands off each on a deputy’s desk. “Thanks for comin’ in, Buck.”
It meant a lot to him.
Steve lingered at the back of the station until the door closed again, stayed still for another few moments to be sure he wouldn’t follow before he let himself move. Sighing deeply he ran a hand over his hair and put himself back to work.